Hail to the King, Baby

Dreams have always fascinated me. My friend Bree had a fairly typical one recently. The typical ones are the best. They strike at the root of the program and can scream messages back out at us.

Which has inspired me to relate a dream of my own from a few days ago. Here are the pertinent details as copied directly from my journal entry. Hold tight:

Took a side door. Saw the maintenance area. All modern equipment but dirty, oily, messy. Felt awkward not wearing safety glasses. Back to the caves. Tracking someone. There she is! Maria enters a side cave in a trance state. The others show up, including my dad. "I've found the entrance!" No, that's just to the king's home. You want into the Monster City, the throne room. Grab a bucket of bolts and hydrox cookies, because only that will satiate the beast. I send the rest of the party away. Go find another way in. But it's spring break and zombie and vampire college kids are descending into the caves for the big party. I am spotted. I act tough and challenge one guy to bloody knuckles. My fist comes forward at full force and as knuckles collide I feel nothing. Why? I am a mix of two vampire clans myself. But they don't know that. I challenge a female vamp with pale skin and white mohawk. She takes off her shirt. Stare at those perky white breasts with huge nipples. I smile. Our fists collide and she shakes her hand in pain. I try once again with the man. He too feels pain while I feel nothing. So I leap. The chase is on and I am headed for the underground city where the monster king lives.

And I wake up knowing, just as any half assed shrink could tell you, the monster on the throne that I seek is most assuredly myself.

So there you have it. I am the King of the Monsters, Lord of the Demons, a vampire twice over again. The only thing that will satiate me is a bucket full of bolts and hydrox cookies. And those long hard bolts and soft centered round cookies intermingled in a bucket are not symbolic of anything. Nothing at all.