Friday, May 30, 2008

Viva la Muerte

TIME
In a small shop in one of this city's largest Mexican neighborhoods, Laura Martinez scans rows of candles bearing the images of Saint David, Saint Raphael and Saint Jude. But she overlooks those and grabs two candles featuring Santa Muerte — Saint Death. "She's my patron saint."
Chicago Tribune
While a similar shrine to a Catholic saint would likely be a source of pride, many residents are appalled at a 75-foot-tall statue of a skeleton shrouded in black, Santa Muerte (Saint Death). Although the Santa Muerte icon has existed for decades in working-class Mexican neighborhoods, never has it towered so ominously.

Town officials say they want to respect freedom of religion but are facing pressure from constituents who say their new neighbor is literally giving them nightmares. The town has ordered the statue demolished for zoning violations but has taken no further action.

In a small chapel on the grounds, devotees place tequila, cigarettes and bowls of fruit at the feet of smaller Santa Muerte statues. Some burn special incense sticks that promise better health or a new job. Hundreds of worshipers come for Sunday prayers, many traveling long distances to this town about an hour north of Mexico City.
Some Catholic journalist/blogger
Santa Muerte's precise origins are a matter of debate. Some experts say its roots lie with Aztec spiritual rituals that mixed with Catholicism during Spanish colonial rule. What is clear, however, is that Santa Muerte developed a large following only in the last quarter century among Mexicans who had become disillusioned with the dominant Church and, in particular, the ability of established Catholic saints to deliver them from poverty. Residents of crime-tossed neighborhoods like Mexico City's Tepito began revering Santa Muerte more than Jesus Christ, experts say. Some of its devotees eventually split from the Catholic church and began vying for control of Catholic buildings. That's when Mexico's Catholic church declared it a cult.

...only when the real estate was at stake, of course.
All very cool, but Satanists are still cooler.

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Moles Wanted

My old base of operations is gearing up for the RNC by finding infiltrators for protest groups.
City Pages (Minneapolis/St. Paul)

What they were looking for, Carroll says, was an informant—someone to show up at “vegan potlucks” throughout the Twin Cities and rub shoulders with RNC protestors, schmoozing his way into their inner circles, then reporting back to the FBI’s Joint Terrorism Task Force, a partnership between multiple federal agencies and state and local law enforcement. The effort’s primary mission, according to the Minneapolis division’s website, is to “investigate terrorist acts carried out by groups or organizations which fall within the definition of terrorist groups as set forth in the current United States Attorney General Guidelines.”
You have to watch out for those vegans. My cousin's friend's sister's gastroenterologist's psychic was a vegan and I heard that due to the lack of protein the brain started eating itself for nourishment and then she became a brainless zombie that ate other people's brains at political rallies.
Carroll would be compensated for his efforts, but only if his involvement yielded an arrest. No exact dollar figure was offered.
Those cheap bastards! They better at least be providing the hot dish for him.

If protesters want a friendlier environment for their chanting and dissent they are welcome to protest any of my events. There is no police interest, no police coverage, in fact you could probably try to assassinate me and the police would stop off and get some coffee and donuts before showing up. The RNC might consider allowing that level of protester freedom far too liberal for their tastes. I prefer to think of it as good old fashioned conservative free market economics of ideas.

To all of my friends in MSP; If you plan on demonstrating keep an eye out for the narcs, they're the ones that look like hippies.

Monday, May 26, 2008

PSA: Memorial Day

It seems people often confuse Memorial Day and Labor Day. So here is an easy way to differentiate the two.

Memorial Day is the one where everybody gets a day off of work to drink themselves silly. It is unofficially the start of the summer barbecue season. Everybody drinks to commemorate our service men and women who often have to drink to forget all the shit they have witnessed in wars.

Labor Day is the one where everybody gets a day off of work to drink themselves silly. It is unofficially the end of the summer barbecue season. Everybody drinks to commemorate the workers who often have to drink to forget all the shit they have to put up with in the work place.

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Who Am I Watching?

For a while I got confused and thought I had clicked on a video from The Onion. Nope. It's MSNBC's Countdown with guest host Rachel Maddow.



I was surprised they didn't mention Bush's legacy. Along with being remembered as a fear mongering chicken hawk imbecile, he will also go down as the foremost leisure President in US history. Should he really risk that legacy by giving up golf?

For the record, Bush may be a terrible dancer, but I'm even worse. I'll give him that.

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Nope

Today was Oregon's Primary as well as Portland's mayoral race, some other positions, and a few ballot measures. In a blatant display of disrespect for the democratic principles upon which this nation hangs its reputation, I did not vote. I did not see the point in choosing between shit and dung. Elections are like a choose your own adventure book that has nothing but disastrous endings.

Let's all go write our own.

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Sneaky Like a FOX

Is FOX News hiding pictures of John McCain in their bumper? That is pretty darn sneaky. I just hide pictures of breasts and vaginas. By hide I mean stash, or harbor. By pictures I mean images and video. And I keep them on my computer and bookshelves, not in news bumpers. I wouldn't want to look at them in a news bumper. Why ruin perfectly good content by inserting it into a pile of shit? So FOX can keep McCain in their bumpers for all I care. I already associate a pile of shit with a dung heap.

Friday, May 02, 2008

Legalize It!

This week the DC Madame, Deborah Jeane Palfrey, was found hanged in an apparent suicide. Or was it?



When a madame that caters to the Washington DC elite is busted what would she have to fear? Was it all just paranoia that lead to drastic actions? What would her well connected Washington DC clients have to gain from making certain this gal remains quiet?

Yet another reason we need to completely legalize prostitution. Palfrey maintained that she merely ran an escort service. Which is most likely true in some sense. High class girls for high class guys. Just go spend some time with them. Palfrey collects her fee and gives the escort her share. Anything else that takes place is not part of the business. I've been in a couple of strip clubs like that. (And while I declined the offer I still felt the need to go home and shower immediately.) Legalize it. Keep it on the level. Require that a medical professional such as a nurse practitioner has to be on site during business hours Maintain confidential medical records to protect the privacy of employess and clients. Getting discovered at such a place could still ruin a politician's career if he was some two-faced rat bastard who spoke out about such things while using said services. But at least the people in the business will be afforded the protection of public scrutiny, for what that's worth.

Some gals would still work under the table. Hell, some guys would probably pay extra for that.