Who Am I Watching?

For a while I got confused and thought I had clicked on a video from The Onion. Nope. It's MSNBC's Countdown with guest host Rachel Maddow.



I was surprised they didn't mention Bush's legacy. Along with being remembered as a fear mongering chicken hawk imbecile, he will also go down as the foremost leisure President in US history. Should he really risk that legacy by giving up golf?

For the record, Bush may be a terrible dancer, but I'm even worse. I'll give him that.

Nope

Today was Oregon's Primary as well as Portland's mayoral race, some other positions, and a few ballot measures. In a blatant display of disrespect for the democratic principles upon which this nation hangs its reputation, I did not vote. I did not see the point in choosing between shit and dung. Elections are like a choose your own adventure book that has nothing but disastrous endings.

Let's all go write our own.

Sneaky Like a FOX

Is FOX News hiding pictures of John McCain in their bumper? That is pretty darn sneaky. I just hide pictures of breasts and vaginas. By hide I mean stash, or harbor. By pictures I mean images and video. And I keep them on my computer and bookshelves, not in news bumpers. I wouldn't want to look at them in a news bumper. Why ruin perfectly good content by inserting it into a pile of shit? So FOX can keep McCain in their bumpers for all I care. I already associate a pile of shit with a dung heap.

ConsPiracy

Something for people to ponder.

Legalize It!

This week the DC Madame, Deborah Jeane Palfrey, was found hanged in an apparent suicide. Or was it?



When a madame that caters to the Washington DC elite is busted what would she have to fear? Was it all just paranoia that lead to drastic actions? What would her well connected Washington DC clients have to gain from making certain this gal remains quiet?

Yet another reason we need to completely legalize prostitution. Palfrey maintained that she merely ran an escort service. Which is most likely true in some sense. High class girls for high class guys. Just go spend some time with them. Palfrey collects her fee and gives the escort her share. Anything else that takes place is not part of the business. I've been in a couple of strip clubs like that. (And while I declined the offer I still felt the need to go home and shower immediately.) Legalize it. Keep it on the level. Require that a medical professional such as a nurse practitioner has to be on site during business hours Maintain confidential medical records to protect the privacy of employess and clients. Getting discovered at such a place could still ruin a politician's career if he was some two-faced rat bastard who spoke out about such things while using said services. But at least the people in the business will be afforded the protection of public scrutiny, for what that's worth.

Some gals would still work under the table. Hell, some guys would probably pay extra for that.

More Jesse

If I agree with him only half the time, it's 99% more often than any other politician.

None of the Above

Yes, I voted for Jesse Ventura when all the polls showed him coming in at a distant third.

Yes, I was excited as I saw the numbers roll in and it became apparent that he was the next governor of Minnesota.

Yes, I did not always agree with his policies.

Yes, he is probably the only elected official I thought did a damn fine job.

Yes, if he ran for President I would back out of the race and throw my support behind him.

But his idea for adding a "None of the Above" vote of no confidence category in all elections is something I really agree with. That would get me voting again.

When in Rome

When I think of Rome I think of sexually deviant politicians. Milly D'Abbraccio represents what is Rome.

Porn star unveils campaign weapon-her bottom

Targeting her male fan base, the veteran of Italy's adult entertainment industry has plastered images of her derriere all around the Eternal City in a bid to win a seat in Rome's city hall.

Makes sense. If you want to win a seat in government it's important to prove that you are capable of filling it.

If elected, D'Abbraccio wants to create a red light area with strip clubs, erotic discos and sex shops called "Love City" just kilometers away from the Vatican.

Terrible idea! One shouldn't go tainting the sanctity of strip clubs and sex shops by associating them with 'love'. Perhaps I could discuss this with her on my first Presidential trip to Rome.

Podcasting Update

Turns out people are actually listening to my podcast.

Thank you.

AWPC: State of the Election

My co-workers don't typically make off the cuff clever remarks. Today I was pleasantly surprised.

Gal 1: Who do you think will win this fall? Clinton or Obama?

Jake: I don't know and I don't really care. Both of them suck. They are only mildly better than McCain.

Gal 1: I think it will be one of those two, though.

Jake: It probably won't be me. My campaign hasn't been going too well.

Gal 2: I'll vote for you. At least I've actually spoken with you.

Jake: I probably won't even carry a state.

Gal 2: You could try for Rhode Island.

Get Down Moses

Moses, former leader of the NRA, dies at age 84 according to his physician, Dr. Zaius.

There is no report of what kind of gun was finally pried from his cold, dead hand.

As a fellow crackpot eccentric civil libertarian and head of the National Sword Association I would like to state that his steadfast devotion to one of the first ten amendments to the Constitution (The Bill of Rights) was commendable and will be missed.

In unrelated news, Soylent Green announces their new Oscar award winning line of snacks.

Government vs. Religion, Fight to the Death

I've been saving these news links up for a while now. The progression fascinates me in much the same way the glowing light of a bug zapper fascinates a moth. Or so I assume since I have never been a moth. And it only bears a slight resemblance since the likely-hood of my fascination ending in a horrible and unexpected electrocution is slim. It still smells funny.

This news journey starts when the Dalai Lama threatened to resign.

The Dalai Lama on Tuesday invited international observers, including Chinese officials, to scour his offices here and investigate whether he had any role in inciting the latest anti-Chinese violence in Tibet. He also threatened to resign as leader of Tibet’s government-in-exile in the event of spiraling bloodshed in his homeland.

Why do so many people love the Dalai Lama? It might have to be the sense that the guy is open and honest to a degree most people can only hope to approximate. I might be wrong. If so, then the Dalai Lama can still have the title of world's best con man. Most outspoken religious leaders are as far from perfect as Ellen Degeneres is from dick.

The article goes on with:

He acknowledged there was growing frustration and a feeling that his "Middle Way" approach — no independence for Tibet but a large degree of autonomy — had achieved no concrete gains. But dismissed talk of any other path as impractical.

In many ways I have similar wishes for my relationship with the United States. I don't really need independence from the Union. What I want is a large degree of autonomy. Give me that and I will gladly call myself an American.

A while later we get to this:

China Calls for "Patriotic Education" for Tibet Monks

"His call for broader 'patriotic education' indicated the party would also move to exert greater control over religion in Tibet, requiring more Tibetans to accept the region as an inalienable part of China, denounce the Dalai Lama as a separatist and recognize the Chinese-appointed Panchen Lama."

Which is what we actually get in the United States as well. Place your hand on your heart and recite the Pledge of Loyalty... I mean Oath of Allegiance... I mean... you know what I mean. Or do you need some American Patriotic Education? We live in the best damn country in the whole damn world! Now stand up and pledge your soul to the red, white and blue idol that Jello Biafra refers to as 'The Yankee Swastika'.

Then today we get to the really sad part in all of this.

India asks Dalai Lama to refrain from political activities

"Dalai Lama is a religious leader. India will render all the hospitality to him as he is a respectable guest, he will have full freedom to preach religion in India but he can’t conduct any political activity in this country that harms India-China ties," External Affairs Minister Pranab Mukherjee said in remarks broadcast on TV channels.

With that statement India has gone from being the home to the Tibetan government-in-exile to passively accepting that Tibet is a legal territory of China. All hopes the Dalai Lama may have harbored of ever returning to the land of his birth were dashed to pieces by that one statement. The United States has been doing the same with the Native Americans since the founding of this country. We tell them that they are sovereign nations within the United States but instead treat them like religions with large land holdings. Granted they can put on a bigger Bingo night than St. Mary's.

For centuries man has been controlled by governments and religions. Thanks largely to the efforts of governments, no person can be forced to subject themselves to the rules of religions. It's now a choice. We're half way there.

This Podcasting Stuff

Still figuring out how best to do this podcasting business. Trying out having the podcaster and a list of my most recent episodes in the sidebar. Feel free to give feed back and suggestions on this stuff so I can actively ignore you.

Kids for Guns Program

India offers firearms permits for vasectomies - Times Online

A scheme that trades one male status symbol for another has achieved a large rise in the number of men undergoing vasectomies in a bandit-ridden region of central India.

Shivpuri district in the state of Madhya Pradesh, an overpopulated area renowned for its machismo culture, has started to offer fast-tracked gun icences for those who agree to be sterilised.

Brilliant! The United States should consider doing this.

Lucky Socks?

The LucSoc is not about footwear. It stands for Luciferian Society. Luciferians are an often misunderstood group. Most people see no difference between a Luciferian and a Satanist. Once I told a Lutheran that I saw very little difference between their religion and that of the Methodists. The individual launched into the nuances that differentiated the two. To Christians, the differences between denominations is meaningful. And the differences between Luciferians and Satanists is more akin to the differences between Jews and Catholics who, from an outside perspective, appear to worship the same deity.

So when I found this list explaining the Luciferian Society (LucSoc) I figured I would share the contents while providing a personal view of each statement. If you really don't give a damn about the LucSoc, are afraid for your soul if you read on, or don't think I can come up with anything worth your valuable reading time, then skip this article. It promises to be on the long side. Which is perfect for you people who want to waste time.

To understand what we are, you must understand where we came from. The Luciferian Society was started by Mobius Frame in 2004, to "assist marginals in gaining POWER." Lucifer/Prometheus, as described by Christopher S. Hyatt in Pacts with the Devil, was Mobius Frame's original inspiration for naming the group:

Luciferian = anti-belief, pro-empiricism, pro-action (generally).

Society: a group of people who share an interest/aim.

I could argue that a society is a group of people who have come to some sort of agreement to not kill or maim each other over petty differences. Your average society is coldly cordial at best. But perhaps they are defining their own particular use of the term. Fine.

As for the group having it's origins based on the work of the late Dr. Hyatt, they picked fine source material. Dr. Christopher Hyatt was one Hell of a Man.

In 2007, I came together with Mobius Frame, who had already developed a working relationship with Bret Stalcup. Saikyoryu joined us immediately thereafter and we bonded as the core meme-bearers of the group. 183 members later and we are finally starting to summarize what we have been teaching in a more tangible form, rather than on a case by case basis.

'Meme-bearers.' I like it when people take two separate words to create a new word that eludes to a pre-existing word but with specific connotations that fit their particular purpose. It's a neat trick. I did it myself when I developed my theory of ConScience. But what is this teaching thing you speak of? Teaching things to meme-bearers sounds a bit Manson family in my opinion. You start with good intentions. That's the first mistake and it all tends to go down the shitter from there.

Our purpose could be stated simply: The LucSoc exists to encourage individual evolution though the application of 3rd Wave techniques.

Ooo. Sounds fancy!

We subscribe to an eloquent ideoform prepared by Bret Stalcup:

1st Wave: Concerned the people and principles of the Magic/k & Myth period. The Masons, The Rosicrucians, The Golden Dawn, the OTO, The A:. A:., their predecessors, etc..

2nd Wave: The Hyatt/Leary/Burroughs/RAW/McKenna/etc.. wave, parallel to the Chaos Magick and Discordianism currents.

3rd Wave: The specific application of refined, effective techniques of the 1st & 2nd Waves to promote self evolution and power. FUCK LIMITATION – DESTROY IT IF YOU CAN.

Excellent! When starting a cult it is always important to set yourself up as the latest and greatest incarnation. Each of these groups had the answer and now you also have the answer but this time it is for real. If these things have worked for you, great. Teaching them to others creates clones of your ilk. This is great if what you want to do is scam a bunch of people out of as much money as you can. Not so awesome if you actually want to promote self evolution. But I agree without any limitation to the final, all caps statement.

The very core of our 3rd Wave movement is identified in a few, ever expanding areas we deem necessary for increased development. Echoing within each is the simple axiom: Reject what is static and stagnant – embrace the dynamic. Challenge yourself!

Our members receive access to experts in everything from Martial Arts to Law, from Research Biologists to Psychiatrists to Magickians, yes – even Judges and Politicians. Only those actively applying the below rise to our highest ranks, and at that level our collective expertise is at the disposal of the member, who is expected to act in kind (Quid Pro Quo). Think “Fight Club” without the terrorist overtones. In short, those who come to us with potential are refined into their most realistic ideal, their shortcomings obliterated and their latent talents refined. They then become prepared to accept their birthright from the perspective of accomplishment, their magick becomes focused and their ability to create their own reality is realized. To achieve this, we have recognized a general guideline:

Cool! Somehow your group has managed to succeed where all of your predecessors have failed. You have weeded out loafers, free loaders, and rich idiots who buy their way to the top. Kudos to you. It must have been difficult. I love the phrasing here. It prescribes that only those who practice what the LucSoc teaches will rise to the highest ranks. It then states that at that level (presumably meaning the highest ranks) everyone shares their 133+ skilz. So the poor schmucks who try really hard but just can't get it right are shit out of luck. It's probably for the best.

On to the LIST!

1. You must be articulate. In other words, you must be able to communicate your points verbally and in writing, succinctly. You may have the greatest leadership skills and the most cutting edge ideas, but if you cannot communicate them in an intelligent manner, it is the same as not possessing the skill in the first place.

I've got no problems with this one. Hanging with illiterate fuctards blows major chunks.

2. You must possess a functional understanding of leadership principles. If you do not know how to lead, you cannot possibly expect people to know how to follow you. Basic study of sociology, political science and business are good ways to foster this understanding.

Here I completely disagree. Real leadership happens. If you have to foster and nurture the skill, you are seeking dictatorial command. Do your thing and if others come along for the ride, you're a leader.

3. You must develop and nurture an analytical mind. An analytical mind helps one remain reasonable and logical, even when overcome with emotional bias. Further, this mind possesses the key to separating you from your primal urges and vestigial instincts. A keen knowledge of physical emotional responses helps you not only to read others, but to understand your own internal dialogue. Emotions are indicators to pay attention to – not laws by which to live ones life.

Great. Just remember that none of the greatest leaders in history have been accountants or machinists. Aspiring to achieve greatness and power is not a logical pursuit.

4. You must make your body strong and healthy. Mother DNA has granted us all the ability to improve the basic strength of almost every system in our bodies. Doing so not only helps reinforce the separation of mind/body that develops through rigorous exercise, but ultimately prepares you for a more rigorous pursuit of evolution. As a side benefit, the core skills necessary to defend yourself, those you care about and your property become more powerful – and more recognizable. Your body is the most easily recognizable testament to your mastery of self-discipline.

Yeah! Go fuck yourself, Stephen Hawking! You are weak and worthless. For every rule there is at least one exception. If there is one, then there are almost certainly some. If there are some there might as well be an infinite number given the vastness of space/time. Nice suggestion, though.

5. You must learn to defend yourself and that which is dear to you. To lead is to be challenged. Although your methods are left to your preference, you should participate in sparring whenever possible so that you may learn to feel the damage one body can inflict upon another. This is the only way you will further evaluate the damage you can inflict upon another.

Or just make regular visits to your friendly neighborhood dominatrix. She'll be all too happy to show you what kind of damage can be inflicted on your body. Or perhaps the LucSoc has such a trained professional at their disposal. Seriously, a pro-dom knows more about various types of non-lethal torture than the CIA.

6. You must be able to quiet your thoughts. A daily practice of meditation is essential for the development of your inner eye, which is the key that will open every portal you encounter. We recommend a course of study beginning with the Mahasatipatthana Sutta. Liber MMM by Peter Carroll is another valued course of study.

Good skill to have. Many techniques exist towards this end. Why recommend only two?

7. Your magick must be effective and results oriented. Dogmatic and spiritual methods negatively impact your ability to remain autonomous. Paradigms which require you to barter with entities should be avoided at all costs.

Unless you have excellent bartering skills and can talk to demons like you are trying to sell them a used car.

8. Your mind must remain free from Dogmatic attachment. Acts of “faith”, while acts of genuine risk, seldom play to your advantage outside of religious tracts. The belief in a power greater than one’s self serves to limit the potential of the individual to a set of fictitious constructs completely outside the control of the individual. The only limitation, be it physical, mental or emotional comes from Mother DNA Herself. Your mind must remain open so that you can realize any other limitation is SELF-IMPOSED.

Denounce all personifications of impersonal forces that operate within you and without you! Listen only to the great goddess herself, Mother DNA!

9. You must absorb your legacy. Although it is not necessary to have an intimate relationship with 2nd wave materials, a broad understanding of the works of the 2nd wave will provide a theoretical groundwork for your personal 3rd wave application. Where they provide techniques in theory, we have refined and combined them in practice.

Yeah, see, it's statements like the last one that keep me from hooking up with any more cults. Somehow they've taken all this stuff from other people before them and managed to form something meaningful out of it that they are willing to share with you. So you got something meaningful out of it. Fantastic. Why do you feel the need to make certain others get the same kind of meaning out of it? Are you scared somebody might get an answer different from your own? Is it possible that you are wrong and surrounding yourself with a hallucination that will be your undoing? Bigger, faster, stronger, same old shit.

10. You must develop the skill to multitask. This skill is crucial to advancement. It is also good to learn to turn one eye inward, and one eye outward when operating on any level.

Never whistle while you're pissing. If you don't know why, try doing it some time.

11. You must develop a variety of skills. Any one of which could facilitate your survival or increase your value to a service based community. Your skills are the currency beyond currency.

Yep.

12. You must remain educated about the world around you. The study of newspapers and periodicals of a national and international variety will help you understand the various factors in play around you politically, economically and developmentally. Blogs and other on-line resources are also important for this purpose.

And eventually you will learn that they are all a big hoax you wish you could escape from.

13. You must appreciate the creativity and creation around you. A taste for aesthetically pleasing pastimes such as music and the arts, and a developed sense of humor is critical. Intellectuals often chose comedy as a medium for communication of ideas not-grasped by the general populace, but overlooked because of the humorous context.

Why not. Nobody wants to hang out with people who think Paul Anka rocks.

14. You must figuratively pay for your own ticket. Members should have careers that afford them some luxuries, LucSoc meets and parties. We do not provide charity to our members except under the most horrible circumstances.

Smart move. You can't get blood from a turnip, or so they say.

15. Finally, as has been implied, bow down to no god or man.

Least of all the LucSoc.

All this said, the LucSoc looks a hell of a lot more appealing than most cults out there. I could read through their tenets and with the right frame of mind agree with just about all of it. But structure is a dangerous thing. There are always those out there looking to exploit even the most well written, well meaning guidelines. As such, I could never adhere to any group's 'rules'. I have a hard enough time adhering to my own.

Why is all this posted here on my campaign page? Even though the framers of the Constitution most likely never envisioned such a thing as the LucSoc, their first amendment should apply to them as equally as it does to any religious group. I say this as someone who likes to exploit even the most well written, well meaning of guidelines. Exploit them wide open in an encouragement of ever greater freedom.