Moles Wanted

My old base of operations is gearing up for the RNC by finding infiltrators for protest groups.

City Pages (Minneapolis/St. Paul)

What they were looking for, Carroll says, was an informant—someone to show up at “vegan potlucks” throughout the Twin Cities and rub shoulders with RNC protestors, schmoozing his way into their inner circles, then reporting back to the FBI’s Joint Terrorism Task Force, a partnership between multiple federal agencies and state and local law enforcement. The effort’s primary mission, according to the Minneapolis division’s website, is to “investigate terrorist acts carried out by groups or organizations which fall within the definition of terrorist groups as set forth in the current United States Attorney General Guidelines.”

You have to watch out for those vegans. My cousin's friend's sister's gastroenterologist's psychic was a vegan and I heard that due to the lack of protein the brain started eating itself for nourishment and then she became a brainless zombie that ate other people's brains at political rallies.

Carroll would be compensated for his efforts, but only if his involvement yielded an arrest. No exact dollar figure was offered.

Those cheap bastards! They better at least be providing the hot dish for him.

If protesters want a friendlier environment for their chanting and dissent they are welcome to protest any of my events. There is no police interest, no police coverage, in fact you could probably try to assassinate me and the police would stop off and get some coffee and donuts before showing up. The RNC might consider allowing that level of protester freedom far too liberal for their tastes. I prefer to think of it as good old fashioned conservative free market economics of ideas.

To all of my friends in MSP; If you plan on demonstrating keep an eye out for the narcs, they're the ones that look like hippies.