Thursday, September 28, 2006

Dirty Old Man

I'll admit it. I try to always go to the tobacconist on Thursdays because that's when the mid-twenties punky girl with septum ring and half sleeve is working. And she tends to wear thin white shirts with a black bra.

Is 33 too young to be a dirty old man? It's hard to tell if it is genetic or a learned trait. My dad started me off at the tender age of six months old. He'd take me to the park while my mom was working. There he would use me as bait to get young gals in low cut shirts to bend over in front of us with, "Oh, aren't you the cutest little baby? Yes you are. Yes you are." My grandfather was also a dirty old man who got into all kinds of trouble at the nursing home. So I'm at least third generation dirty old man. I bet it goes back a lot further than that.

Why is any of this relevant? Why should I mention it here? I just thought people should know that my mind works like Clinton's, Kennedy's, and Jefferson's. Considering the kind of great people that were dirty old men, there should be a club. I therefore proclaim the formation of the Social Order of Dirty Old Men! Who's with me? Who wants to be a SODOMite?

2 comments:

N8ey said...

It's always nice to see family traditions being upheld. Brings a warm fuzzy feeling.

Let me know when you have cards, or a web badge, or something.

Unknown said...

If you stopped wearing pants with your trench coat I think that would make you an automatic member.