Gonnes

The guy I work maintenance with loves guns. So I come to find out his father-in-law is a gun dealer. We talked for a while and I came home this weekend, pulled out my old shotguns, and wrote down some model numbers. I'm trying to complete my set of Western Field shotguns. In the process I learned three very important things.

Lesson the First: My wife's grandparents and my own bought really cheap shotguns. My Western Fields were manufactured for Montgomery Wards. Her shotgun was manufactured and bears the stamp of the old hardware chain, Coast-to-Coast. These shotguns hold about the same esteem in the shotgun world as Safeway Select Cola holds in the soda world. Decent, reliable, good enough for plugging pidgeons or chasing off vandals.

Lesson the Second: We have two renowned and desirable weapons in our collection. I've got a Mossberg 500, arguably the best pump action 12 gauge in the world. My wife has something so wicked and cool y'all don't even deserve to hear about it. I love my Mossberg but her secret weapon is ten times cooler. I'm going to buy a small box of ammo for it. It has never been fired, but a box of ammo in the safe wouldn't be a bad idea, right?

Final Lesson: When she says she'll get around to cleaning and taking care of her collection, it won't be soon enough. My old guns are in extremely stable condition and I only oil them twice a year. Seeing mine next to the others, I broke down and oiled them all up. Guess what, love? You are off the revolutionary committee until you can prove you will follow this part of the pirate code: That Man that shall not keep his Arms clean, fit for an Engagement, or neglect his Business, shall be cut off from his Share, and suffer such other Punishment as the Captain and the Company shall think fit.