NSA Alert!

This is a Second Amendment alert from the National Sword Association.

Your right to keep and bear arms, specifically your right to keep and bear swords (more commonly referred to as 'wielding'), is under attack. All NSA members should immediately write their representatives. If you are an anarchist, write to the lead singer of Echo and the Bunnymen. This is important as...

The government said Wednesday it would ban the sale of samurai swords because the weapons had been used in a number of serious, high-profile attacks.

As members of the NSA are no doubt aware, a sword is an important constitutional right. We should be getting swords into the hands of more people, not less, and giving them proper training. Imagine if on September 11th there had been just one man on each one of those flights with a sword who had been trained in its use*. Those terrorists with their puny box cutters wouldn't have stood a chance. He could have skewered all of them in one good charge. Maybe even a decapitation or two. All while not having to worry about the threat of sudden cabin decompression as the result of a bad gun shot. And the kids get a heck of a show, too. You know they all love that ninja and kung fu shit.

In 2000, Robert Ashman murdered a Liberal Democrat councilor at the offices of Cheltenham MP Nigel Jones, who was also seriously hurt in the attack.

A year earlier, Eden Strang seriously wounded 11 people when he went on the rampage with a samurai sword at a Roman Catholic Church near his home in Thornton Heath, south London.

So even though this is happening in Britain and not the United States of America, it is still important for all NSA members to write their representatives (or a suitable 80's Brit-pop band if as aforementioned) and let them know that this is a country with a constitution and our Bill of Rights prohibits such limitations. Remind them that this is America, damnit!

*This is presuming al Qaeda is a real entity, Bin Laden is not just a CIA agent, and there really were terrorists of Middle Eastern origin armed with box cutters on those flights. Which of course is the case. Of course. I mean maybe it would be different if everybody else in the world knew that the CIA was behind the Kennedy assassination while America remained in denial despite an accumulation of extremely damning evidence. But that isn't the case at all, either.