In a controversial move sure to haunt his upcoming bid for President, Jake recently announced that he supports spying.
"Covert Information Gathering (CIG) has a long and proud tradition in this country and around the globe." In further statements he made it clear that spying would be a part of his administration. "From the Peeping Tom to the Private Dick, people want to know things ordinarily shrouded in secrecy."
The outline for his program, received through an anonymous source, makes clear that Jake wants to expand the current spy network. An excerpt reads;
The paranoia surrounding any form of CIG and the questioning of the reliability of the sources inevitably leads to an escalation in CIG. Bringing everyone into the business of CIG hastens our progress towards it's inexorable goal. Life, Liberty, and the Perusal of Others' Happiness!
The plan for universal espionage calls for the creation of a national 'dumping ground' to which everyone can post their gathered information. Likewise, any individual can search the board for 'dirt' on any other individual.
Jake's theory behind this? "When we learn that people from all walks of life are doing things we never imagined, for instance that (high ranking politician's name deleted) is an alcoholic cross-dresser or that (media pundit's name deleted) is balling three to five guys a night while stoned out of their gourd, maybe people will stop being so titillated by it all and learn how to mind their own business."
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