Leader rails at teen breast implants gift fad

NEWS ALERT!

This is just outrageous. OUTRAGEOUS!

President Hugo Chavez railed against a new trend in beauty-conscious Venezuela, giving girls breast implants for their 15th birthday.

Did I mention this is outrageous? It's outrageous! And... um... Well let's see what else they have to say.

Venezuela is well known for its beauty queens, who have regularly won world crowns, and many women have plastic surgery in the oil-rich country where there is widespread spending on consumer items that would be considered luxuries elsewhere.

Yes, outrageous! Silly oil rich consumerists spending their money on larger, vuluptuous, melons that should rightfully be soaking in the natural sun light on South American beaches and, wait... where was this going?

Chavez complained about the new fad of giving the plastic surgery operation at 15 -- when Latin Americans celebrate a girl's coming-of-age -- during a diatribe against what he says are Western-imposed consumerist icons such as Barbie dolls.

Yes! Parents should wait until their daughters are 18 so they might spend their winters in Portland, Oregon (where it would be summer) doing public relations work at strip clubs.

Viva la Bolivarian Revolution!