FTW?

At one time in my life, seeing the letters FTW meant one thing and one thing only. Throughout the 1970's and 80's and even into the 90's it meant this and as far as I knew, nothing else. It was primarily seen scrawled on garments and posters of the punk rock and outlaw biker scenes.

As Harley-Davidson changed its image... well they didn't really change their image. They took the wild and free image of working class and outlaw bikers and repackaged it into a consumer bundle. Brilliant strategy. So as people with money bought into the image created for them by people with some real creative potential, FTW patches began to appear on their clothing as well. Someone sold them the idea that it meant Forever Two Wheels, the sign of a true biker.

As online video gaming gained momentum and players started to create their own acronyms for ease of communication in a restricted environment, FTW showed up. To those who knew the original meaning the new phrases were confusing. People typing messages like Sniper Rifle FTW, Plus One Mace FTW, Helm of Illusionary Grandeur FTW! But they didn't mean it in the old sense. FTW now meant For The Win.

For those who don't know, FTW originally meant Fuck The World. It was sage advice. How many of the world's problems could be solved if people simply heeded those three letters. Fuck The World!

As President I would not be in a position to require even one day of such activity. But I could create a FAD, Fuck America Day. It would be a day when everyone threw off their inhibitions, stripped naked in the streets, and engaged in an orgy of carnal delights. One day out of the year when we could all lay down our differences and come together as Americans. I will be happy to create a FAD in hopes that some day we can FTW. Until then, Fuck America! With abortions for some, and miniature American flags for others!

(If we do it often enough it might even reduce the nation's obesity problem.)