Australia targets workshy surfers

According to BBC News the Australian government is trying to force people to work.

Ministers say that some coastal towns have 'stubbornly' high unemployment where people refuse to work and choose instead to surf and relax on the beach.

This is an obvious attack on a traditional way of life! Surfing was invented on the island of Hawaii and since its inception it has been associated with a free and easy lifestyle of plucking fruit from trees, cathching a few fish, and laying around on the beach. To deny this lifestyle is a cultural crime.

The Australian economy has enjoyed 15 years of strong growth, and unemployment is at a 30-year low.

But ministers are concerned that jobless rates in some seaside towns are way above the national average.

It's really all about jealousy and guilt. Folks feel far too guilty about leaching off a faked monetary system so they force themselves to work. They then are jealous of those who have no qualms with taking advantage of that system.

Australia's conservative government has made full employment a key objective ahead of a general election later this year.

By full employment I think they meant to say 'full dependence on an employer instead of leaching off the tax dollars of suckers who work'.

One option would be to force people to work for their welfare benefits a lot sooner than they have to at the moment.

I have a better idea. Of course I do. And a new course for America that we may not stray like our Australian (cough, cough, sheepshaggers, cough) cousins. If there is one lesson to be garnered from the latter half of the twentieth century, it is that money is given or taken, not earned. The idea of working hard to earn the rewards of a better life was proven false after a short stint in the middle of the century seemed to suggest just that. No, now we know that riches are a matter of luck and heredity. So screw working hard! Let's build machines that will do all of our work for us. We shall call them 'robots' and they shall be our mechanical servants. The goal is to replace every single American worker, from the factory workers and garbage collectors to the baristas and fast food workers and doctors and lawyers and pan handlers. Let's make it our goal that no American shall ever again have to work. Otherwise we may end up in Australia's predicament looking for foreigners to fill jobs.

Without this army of foreign accountants, health professionals and hairdressers, there are fears that Australia's booming economy could begin to stumble after years of strong growth.

Yes, accountants and hair dressers imported from foreign lands. Scary!

Personally, I kind of like working. But I'd like it a whole lot more if I could call it 'playing' and didn't have to do it. Just look at how much 'work' people will do in their free time without getting paid so much as a wooden nickel.

Bread and Circuses for All! Beer and Surfing is a suitable alternative.