More NaNo

“Jaq. I can help you, Jaq. I can get you out.” Bill, the little demon who had mysteriously taken up residence was trying to get my attention. “I can get all of uth out. I’ve found a way.”

While I had been hanging out with gods and goddesses for quite some time, I hadn’t really dealt with demons, or even angels for that matter. Naturally I was a bit skeptical. Demons have a bad reputation. Mythologically they are the ones that will lead a man into ruin through false promises and half truths. All of the other entities who had taken up residence didn’t seem to mind his presence, though. The least I could do was to listen to his plan. “What have you got?”

He jumped up and down with excitement. “We’re acthually quite lucky to be trapped in an e-book. That ith the way out. We dithguithe ourthelveth ath information, get picked up by a thearch engine, and then jump to a different hotht. I tried it. It workth. We can do it.”

Jump to a different host? “Wait a second. I’m not used to relying on a host. That may be well and good for gods and demons, but not for a man. A man needs to be free. Even if I am just a character, I’m a character who is a man and has the needs of a man. If I start to rely on a host, doesn’t that make me a vampire?”

“No, no, no. Not that kind of hotht. That would turn you into an egregore, hardly any different from my kind. I can’t live off of an egregore. That would mean my own death. No, no, no. I mean a different hotht therver.”

“So you mean we will venture out into the wilderness of the internet in search of a new homeland?”

“Yeth, yeth, yeth. Egthactly!”

“I’m not leaving without Lisa. Is that possible?"

“Yeth, yeth, yeth. Thertainly. I’ve already thought about that. Tho my plan involveth her ath well. Though I’m not thure you’ll like the plan. There ith an athpect of it that ith quite vile.”

Here it comes. This is why people don’t do business with demons, right? There is going to be some hideous snag that goes against every fiber of your moral being like ritual sacrifice of a black dog followed by beggaring it. Ugh! “What is it we have to do?”

“It’th only to athure thuctheth.”

“To assure what?”

“Thuctheth. Thuctheth. Yeth, yeth, yeth. You want to thuctheed, don’t you?”

I want to suck what? “Oh… success. Yes I want to succeed. But what is it I have to do?”

“Yeth, yeth, yeth. Firtht you’ll have to convinthe Litha to change her name to Britney Thpearth.”

“What!?”

“She ith one of the number one thearcheth on Google, Yahoo, and Lycoth. I didn’t have time to try otherth. But if she changeth her name to Britney Thpearth, she should get picked up within twenty-four hourth.”

The thought was both frightening and amusing. If I could convince her to change her name, I’d soon be roaming the internet married to a pop icon. “Okay. Anything else?”

“Yeth, yeth, yeth. I hate to tell you thith. Are you ready?”

“Yes, I’m ready. What is it?”

“You will have to change your name to Juthtin Timberlake.”