Election Day Lemming

Since my friends are doing it, I thought I'd get in on commenting on this most holy of holy days for those who believe in Democracy.

I've got nothing against democracy. It is a very interesting belief system in which a few people get to decide which elite representatives will get jobs as ugly celebrities. But because they are ugly celebrities and nobody wants to be just like them when they grow up, they are given the priviledge of getting to TELL people how to act. That makes a hell of a lot more sense than the Baptists, Mormons, Scientologists, Muslims, and Hindus. Unfortunately, they tend to get a bit pushy about forcing their belief system on everyone else.

Heed the words of the prophet! I will tell you exactly what will happen in every single election. The clear majority will vote for nobody. The holy counsels known as the Board of Elections will instead give the race to somebody. In a few cases there will be other sects of democracy that get involved and the courts and judges will declare somebody a winner over nobody.

We're already a nation of (typically apathetic) Anarchists, but the government keeps pretending otherwise and forcing their rules down our throats or, more commonly, up the other end.