I Voted!

You have to hand it to the Conservative Christians. Their emotionally based pleas got this jaded anarchist to vote. After several phone messages from some mother telling us about her daughter's secret abortion leaving her precious child emotionally traumatized, and each time thinking the poor kid wouldn't have been so traumatized if her mom hadn't been such a conservative Christian cunt (or better yet, had put her on birth control before this all happened), I voted against their pet ballot measure. And since I was bothering to turn in a ballot, I took the time to write my own name in for every elected position since I am the only one I trust to make decisions for myself. If elected, I promise to take long naps at my desk when not surfing the internet for porn.

And as I write this there is yet another political message being left on the machine. This one is inviting me to attend a get out to vote rally in Little Rock, Arkansas being hosted by a gubernatorial candidate in that state. Why they are calling me in Portland, Oregon I don't know. But I'm sure a campaign intelligent enough to call folks who have never even set foot in their state, let alone registered to vote there, is fit to rule over its population with an iron fist in a latex glove. Or was that velvet? Yes, a velvet fist in a latex glove.