Wednesday, June 07, 2006
AWPC
Jake: Bums and government have the same opinion. The less money you make, the bigger the percentage they think you should give them.
How to be Cool
Last night as I rode home from work, it seemed like everyone was following me. Today at work I found out they were doing exactly that! People were coming up to me and saying things like, "We were following you for a while, and dude, you get 10 out of 10 for style points." Another said, "You look so comfortable on your bike. I couldn't ride that." I know of at least seven people who followed me last night, just watching me ride the chopper.
So if you want to be cool you should build a killer custom chopper, right? Wrong! That's how I do it. I always wanted a chopper so I built one that looks the way I want it to look and is a custom fit for my extended frame with its long arms and legs. Because it embodies my transportation hopes and dreams, the chopper known as Sera is an extension of myself. When you buy a Hummer "in your choice of factory colors" you cage yourself in an icon of someone else's making. Sera is a power-pentacle expanding my worldly presence. An H2 is a demonic seal used to bind you into the servitude of those who control the design. Slavery is very uncool.
If you want to be cool, do as Joseph Campbell suggests and, "Follow your bliss."
So if you want to be cool you should build a killer custom chopper, right? Wrong! That's how I do it. I always wanted a chopper so I built one that looks the way I want it to look and is a custom fit for my extended frame with its long arms and legs. Because it embodies my transportation hopes and dreams, the chopper known as Sera is an extension of myself. When you buy a Hummer "in your choice of factory colors" you cage yourself in an icon of someone else's making. Sera is a power-pentacle expanding my worldly presence. An H2 is a demonic seal used to bind you into the servitude of those who control the design. Slavery is very uncool.
If you want to be cool, do as Joseph Campbell suggests and, "Follow your bliss."
Happiness is Abstinence
Last break. Sitting around the table with five other people. One is checking his text messages. Another is talking on his phone. Another is slipping hers back in her purse after a quick glance. Someone comments that they hate carrying around a phone all the time. Someone else makes noise about people getting on their case about not answering their call because they know they carry the phone. More talk about having to wait just to leave a message.
Jake: It's easy. I don't carry a phone. I don't answer my home phone. If people need to get in touch with me, they will.
Brandon: He's got it down!
Jess: Look at the smile on his face!
Then there is some gibberish about pay phones disappearing and the need to carry a mobile.
Jake: You don't see them because you don't need them. They're still there, all over the place. I see them.
Of course I did not convince anyone not to carry a mobile. I just made them jealous of my disconnected lifestyle.
Jake: It's easy. I don't carry a phone. I don't answer my home phone. If people need to get in touch with me, they will.
Brandon: He's got it down!
Jess: Look at the smile on his face!
Then there is some gibberish about pay phones disappearing and the need to carry a mobile.
Jake: You don't see them because you don't need them. They're still there, all over the place. I see them.
Of course I did not convince anyone not to carry a mobile. I just made them jealous of my disconnected lifestyle.
Tuesday, June 06, 2006
Let's Be Honest
Reuters-Canada plot suspect accused of plan to behead PM
Accusing someone of wanting to decapitate the commander in chief is like accusing them of wanting to play the boss' bald head like a bongo.
"There's an allegation apparently that my client personally indicated that he wanted to behead the prime minister of Canada," (Defense Lawyer) Batasar said.Really, can't we all be accused of secretly plotting the same thing? At one time or another everybody has harbored visions of the head of state of their country with her/his head in a guillotine. I think the world makes fun of the French out of cloaked envy because they actually DID it, in SPADES! Well, that and their odor.
Accusing someone of wanting to decapitate the commander in chief is like accusing them of wanting to play the boss' bald head like a bongo.
Celebratory Music
Here are 10 suggestions from my own music collection that people might enjoy on a day like today.
10. Demonica, Dwarves
9. The Devil Made Me Do It, Voodoo Glow Skulls
8. Sympathy for the Devil, Rolling Stones
7. Yummy Yummy Yummy (Satan Remix), Elvis Hitler
6. Three Thoughts (Devil's Sect), Einstürzende Neubauten
5. Die Eier Van Satan, Tool
4. The Devil's Chasing Me, Reverend Horton Heat
3. Last Song About Satan, Slim Cesna's Auto Club
2. Born With a Tail, Supersuckers
1. Devil's Night Out, Mighty Mighty Bosstones
10. Demonica, Dwarves
9. The Devil Made Me Do It, Voodoo Glow Skulls
8. Sympathy for the Devil, Rolling Stones
7. Yummy Yummy Yummy (Satan Remix), Elvis Hitler
6. Three Thoughts (Devil's Sect), Einstürzende Neubauten
5. Die Eier Van Satan, Tool
4. The Devil's Chasing Me, Reverend Horton Heat
3. Last Song About Satan, Slim Cesna's Auto Club
2. Born With a Tail, Supersuckers
1. Devil's Night Out, Mighty Mighty Bosstones
Spread of Democracy
Reuters-Iraq to free 2,500 but no "Saddam loyalists"
"Those who will be released will be people who are not Saddam Hussein loyalists or terrorists or anyone who has Iraqi blood on their hands," said Maliki, who took office on May 20 at the helm of a U.S.-backed government of national unity.Because if we weren't dismantling a state sponsor of terrorism and we didn't go because of WMD's, then we must have gone there to spread democracy. One of the corner stones of a free and democratic society is to lock up all the people with different political views from your own.
Oh Holy Night...
Happy 6/6/6 people!Break out the whips, chains, cocaine, butt plugs, video games, maybe a little Dungeons & Dragons, and Richard Simons' Sweatin' to the Oldies. It is time to celebrate all things evil.
That's right. He's making a list. Checkin' it twice. Gonna find out who's made their sacrifice. Satan Claus is coming to town.
Monday, June 05, 2006
New Proof God Does Not Exist
Reuters-
A man shouting that God would keep him safe was mauled to death by a lioness in Kiev zoo after he crept into the animal's enclosure...Females don't care for loud, obnoxious men.
"A lioness went straight for him, knocked him down and severed his carotid artery."
Sunday, June 04, 2006
Blurring My Reality
As most people don't know, because I have never had much of a reason to share, I have a stigmatizm in my left eye. The eye doc told me about it a number of years ago and tried to correct for it in my prescription.
Today, for the first time, I played with my stigmatizm. Correcting for it is futile. The severity of the distortion changes as I flex different muscles around the eye. I was changing the size and location of a coffee shop table by simply squinting. Using the same technique I am currently causing my monitor to expand and contract and pinch at the center. No lens currently available can correct for that degree of variance.
What a fascinating lesson, though! A direct experiment in the mind's ability to shape reality. Not only did the person next to me see a very different table from what I saw, but I could actually CHANGE my experience of the table with little more than a thought. When we see a table, we are experiencing sensory signals that are light reflections off of atomic particles. The sensory signal sent by the eye is assembled and interpreted as a table by our brains. While we cannot actually experience a table, our brains can trick us into thinking that is exactly what is transpiring. A table 'exists' in a very real world. Another table 'exists' as a cerebrally developed entity. Did you think you could fit that actual table in your brain? The table that existed in my head was pulsing, undulating, and moving as a range of probabilities. I touched the table to make certain it was still solid. In actuality nerve endings in my hand sent signals to my brain for it to assemble with my fuzzy visual perception of the table. I'd swear it was a bit spongier than a table should be. One of these days my hand will fall right through all that empty space between the subatomic particles my brain has experienced signals from and assembled the data of as a piece of furniture.
And yes, my brain was under a chemical influence: fair trade organic iced coffee.
Today, for the first time, I played with my stigmatizm. Correcting for it is futile. The severity of the distortion changes as I flex different muscles around the eye. I was changing the size and location of a coffee shop table by simply squinting. Using the same technique I am currently causing my monitor to expand and contract and pinch at the center. No lens currently available can correct for that degree of variance.
What a fascinating lesson, though! A direct experiment in the mind's ability to shape reality. Not only did the person next to me see a very different table from what I saw, but I could actually CHANGE my experience of the table with little more than a thought. When we see a table, we are experiencing sensory signals that are light reflections off of atomic particles. The sensory signal sent by the eye is assembled and interpreted as a table by our brains. While we cannot actually experience a table, our brains can trick us into thinking that is exactly what is transpiring. A table 'exists' in a very real world. Another table 'exists' as a cerebrally developed entity. Did you think you could fit that actual table in your brain? The table that existed in my head was pulsing, undulating, and moving as a range of probabilities. I touched the table to make certain it was still solid. In actuality nerve endings in my hand sent signals to my brain for it to assemble with my fuzzy visual perception of the table. I'd swear it was a bit spongier than a table should be. One of these days my hand will fall right through all that empty space between the subatomic particles my brain has experienced signals from and assembled the data of as a piece of furniture.
And yes, my brain was under a chemical influence: fair trade organic iced coffee.
Wizzy What?
In a conversation last night, a friend brought up how his union is demanding strict enforcement of the attendance policy. It's an office type job and his supervisor was fine with a call saying, "Hey, I'm running a little late this morning. I'll stay after to make up the hours." The union demands people be written up for showing up late regardless. He found it odd that a union would 'punish' a supervisor for being understanding, for trying to be more human.
In an on-line gaming community forum to which I am a member, an individual was trying to make the case for rules. He suggested that absence of rules for a group game event where valuable items dropped would be fine if it weren't for the selfishness and greed of human nature.
So one of them calls it human to try and be nice to other people. The other calls it human to grab everything that's not nailed down and possibly kick the cat for good measure. Might I suggest a little self fulfilling prophecy?
There was a term in the early days of computer graphics: WYSIWYG (pronounced Whiz E. Whig). What You See Is What You Get. The implementation of this once grand idea is now so thorough nobody bothers to even say wysiwyg anymore. I'm going to revive it, rearrange it, and re-apply it. The above stated situations are wysiwygs. If you see humans as generally good folks, you'll notice a lot of generally good humans around you. If you see humans as scum sucking pig dogs, you'll distrust everyone you meet.
My mom once told me a simple but popular parable that really illustrates my new use of wysiwyg.
An old man sat along the road leading into town. A stranger came walking down the road and greeted him. "Can you tell me what the people are like in this town?"
The old man asked, "What were the people like where you came from?"
"Oh, they were wonderful! Very friendly. Always willing to help someone out. Always having a kind word to say."
"You'll find the people here are just the same."
A while later another stranger comes walking down the road and greeted the old man. "Can you tell me what the people are like in this town?"
The old man asked, "What were the people like where you came from?"
"Oh, they were wretched folks. They ignored everyone around them. Wouldn't piss on you if you were on fire. Couldn't shake a man's hand without him trying to steal your wallet."
"You'll find the people here are just the same."
See? WYSIWYG! (And I'm pretty sure my mom never said that bit about, 'Wouldn't piss on you if you were on fire,' but it makes the point clearer.)
In an on-line gaming community forum to which I am a member, an individual was trying to make the case for rules. He suggested that absence of rules for a group game event where valuable items dropped would be fine if it weren't for the selfishness and greed of human nature.
So one of them calls it human to try and be nice to other people. The other calls it human to grab everything that's not nailed down and possibly kick the cat for good measure. Might I suggest a little self fulfilling prophecy?
There was a term in the early days of computer graphics: WYSIWYG (pronounced Whiz E. Whig). What You See Is What You Get. The implementation of this once grand idea is now so thorough nobody bothers to even say wysiwyg anymore. I'm going to revive it, rearrange it, and re-apply it. The above stated situations are wysiwygs. If you see humans as generally good folks, you'll notice a lot of generally good humans around you. If you see humans as scum sucking pig dogs, you'll distrust everyone you meet.
My mom once told me a simple but popular parable that really illustrates my new use of wysiwyg.
An old man sat along the road leading into town. A stranger came walking down the road and greeted him. "Can you tell me what the people are like in this town?"
The old man asked, "What were the people like where you came from?"
"Oh, they were wonderful! Very friendly. Always willing to help someone out. Always having a kind word to say."
"You'll find the people here are just the same."
A while later another stranger comes walking down the road and greeted the old man. "Can you tell me what the people are like in this town?"
The old man asked, "What were the people like where you came from?"
"Oh, they were wretched folks. They ignored everyone around them. Wouldn't piss on you if you were on fire. Couldn't shake a man's hand without him trying to steal your wallet."
"You'll find the people here are just the same."
See? WYSIWYG! (And I'm pretty sure my mom never said that bit about, 'Wouldn't piss on you if you were on fire,' but it makes the point clearer.)
Worker's Song
Yeh, this one's for the workers who toil night and day
By hand and by brain to earn your pay
Who for centuries long past for no more than your bread
Have bled for your countries and counted your dead
In the factories and mills, in the shipyards and mines
We've often been told to keep up with the times
For our skills are not needed, they've streamlined the job
And with sliderule and stopwatch our pride they have robbed
We're the first ones to starve, we're the first ones to die
The first ones in line for that pie-in-the-sky
And we're always the last when the cream is shared out
For the worker is working when the fat cat's about
And when the sky darkens and the prospect is war
Who's given a gun and then pushed to the fore
And expected to die for the land of our birth
Though we've never owned one lousy handful of earth?
We're the first ones to starve, we're the first ones to die
The first ones in line for that pie-in-the-sky
And we're always the last when the cream is shared out
For the worker is working when the fat cat's about
All of these things the worker has done
From tilling the fields to carrying the gun
We've been yoked to the plough since time first began
And always expected to carry the can
By hand and by brain to earn your pay
Who for centuries long past for no more than your bread
Have bled for your countries and counted your dead
In the factories and mills, in the shipyards and mines
We've often been told to keep up with the times
For our skills are not needed, they've streamlined the job
And with sliderule and stopwatch our pride they have robbed
We're the first ones to starve, we're the first ones to die
The first ones in line for that pie-in-the-sky
And we're always the last when the cream is shared out
For the worker is working when the fat cat's about
And when the sky darkens and the prospect is war
Who's given a gun and then pushed to the fore
And expected to die for the land of our birth
Though we've never owned one lousy handful of earth?
We're the first ones to starve, we're the first ones to die
The first ones in line for that pie-in-the-sky
And we're always the last when the cream is shared out
For the worker is working when the fat cat's about
All of these things the worker has done
From tilling the fields to carrying the gun
We've been yoked to the plough since time first began
And always expected to carry the can
Far Sighted
I have to remember that I tend to be ahead of the times. In 1993 I drove cross country jamming out to old time swing music. In 1996/97 bands like the Suirrel Nut Zippers and Cherry Poppin' Daddies were makin' it big with their old time swing sound. When I started building a real old school chopper, two years later Street Chopper Magazine was relaunched and a few years after that shows like Monster Garage and American Chopper were hitting the airwaves.
Being ahead of the curve is not fun. As Robert Anton Wilson points out:
To this he replied, "That's your problem. We cum just the right amount!"
So until the rest of humanity catches up with my ideas, I'll just wear rubber pants with springs in the back side.
Being ahead of the curve is not fun. As Robert Anton Wilson points out:
"I think I'm the most ripped-off artist of our time," says Wilson... "People keep coming out with books 30 years after -- books on things I wrote about -- and they all become bestsellers.Once in a mock tirade trying to mimic a Nazi I shouted at my then room mate, "Ve Shall Overcome!"
"I wrote about them too early," says Wilson, raising a thin arm and shaking his finger to emphasize his point: "Don't be premature."
To this he replied, "That's your problem. We cum just the right amount!"
So until the rest of humanity catches up with my ideas, I'll just wear rubber pants with springs in the back side.
Saturday, June 03, 2006
Piss and Vinegar
Woke up with indifference. Starting to get in a fighting mood. I'm a bottle of Scotch away from barroom brawl. To head that off will require a one-two punch of chopper riding and strong coffee. The bike betters my mood, operates as a focusing point as my whole body and all of my limbs work together to navigate the old girl. The coffee makes me more cerebral, less emotional, and I soon find the very notion of pub conflict merely amusing. Glad I've got a doctorate so I can prescribe remedies to myself.
More on Anarchism
Why have I chosen and continue to choose Anarchism?
For the answer, I will quote "A Clockwork Orange".
For the answer, I will quote "A Clockwork Orange".
When a man cannot choose he ceases to be a man.
Friday, June 02, 2006
Reprise
This is quite possibly the funniest thing I have read in years!
Iran could have nuclear weapons within the next 10 years, according to the senior US intelligence chief.
If Americans will fall for the same old song and dance, so be it. If they can't see where this one ends up, they deserve every ounce of karmaic retribution headed their way. I'll just keep my slack going and try to roll with it. If a bunch of Islamic fundamentalists or the US government (depending on who you talk to) wants to plan a second attack on US soil to support this and it happens to involve getting blown up, I'll try to remember to die laughing at the absurdity of it all.
And if Iran gets a nuke it's just one more power hungry lunatic with his hand hovering over the button. That's a pretty funny thing to imagine. Lots to laugh about.
Iran could have nuclear weapons within the next 10 years, according to the senior US intelligence chief.
In his interview with the BBC, Mr Negroponte accused Iran of being the world's top state sponsor of terrorism.Where have I heard this before? Wasn't Afghanistan the world's top state sponsor of terrorism? Or was it North Korea with their nuclear program? No, I'm pretty sure it was Iraq and their WMD's. It most certainly was NOT the United Arab Emirates or the United Kingdom or the United States of America. Probably because they have 'United' in their names.
He added: "[Iran] seems to be determined to develop nuclear weapons.
"We don't have a clear-cut knowledge but the estimate we have made is some time between the beginning of the next decade and the middle of the next decade they might be in a position to have a nuclear weapon, which is a cause of great concern."
If Americans will fall for the same old song and dance, so be it. If they can't see where this one ends up, they deserve every ounce of karmaic retribution headed their way. I'll just keep my slack going and try to roll with it. If a bunch of Islamic fundamentalists or the US government (depending on who you talk to) wants to plan a second attack on US soil to support this and it happens to involve getting blown up, I'll try to remember to die laughing at the absurdity of it all.
And if Iran gets a nuke it's just one more power hungry lunatic with his hand hovering over the button. That's a pretty funny thing to imagine. Lots to laugh about.
Thursday, June 01, 2006
Crop Art and Other Deviances
Casual swearing is so over done. But what if your profanity could be picked up by satellite? That's an accomplishment.
I located it on Google Earth at 53º 32' 19" N by 1º 20' 49" W near the little village of Billingley, UK.
I'm with Grant Morrison on these types of things. Put cameras everywhere and watch everyone act the shit out of them. When in a constantly watched society, street cameras, reality TV shows, constant spying, total satellite surveillance, everyone is a movie star. Act like it. The show is just starting and it's all improv.
I located it on Google Earth at 53º 32' 19" N by 1º 20' 49" W near the little village of Billingley, UK.
I'm with Grant Morrison on these types of things. Put cameras everywhere and watch everyone act the shit out of them. When in a constantly watched society, street cameras, reality TV shows, constant spying, total satellite surveillance, everyone is a movie star. Act like it. The show is just starting and it's all improv.
Make Me Sweat
Seraphine has personality in spades.
Brand new kicker pedal on her. Brand spankin' new! It was the fourth one I've had to put on her. Damn thing fell off on my way to work and I didn't even notice. At least that's what the old girl would have me believe. She secretly plots to dispose of them. So I made a new one at work tonight. Drag strip rat bike special. I now have a big shoulder bolt on a swivel for a kicker pedal. Lighter weight so you can go faster.
Taking off for work she started with just two kicks. After work I kicked her for 20-30 minutes. Then there was explaining to the janitor why it wasn't the plugs and why it wasn't the battery. Finally I pushed her to the end of the factory driveway, rolled her down, and popped the clutch. Thinking back, I don't recal ever succesfully popping a clutch on a bike before. I can recall trying it once with the old Honda CB500T. Trying to pull off that maneuver on two wheels on gravel is... interesting. Tonight, Sera started for me. I rolled across the street into the post office parking lot. There I zipped up my jacket and strapped on my helmet. Yep, I broke the law again. The night air was warm, but the jacket helped to protect my sweat soaked body from cooling off too quickly.
Brand new kicker pedal on her. Brand spankin' new! It was the fourth one I've had to put on her. Damn thing fell off on my way to work and I didn't even notice. At least that's what the old girl would have me believe. She secretly plots to dispose of them. So I made a new one at work tonight. Drag strip rat bike special. I now have a big shoulder bolt on a swivel for a kicker pedal. Lighter weight so you can go faster.
Taking off for work she started with just two kicks. After work I kicked her for 20-30 minutes. Then there was explaining to the janitor why it wasn't the plugs and why it wasn't the battery. Finally I pushed her to the end of the factory driveway, rolled her down, and popped the clutch. Thinking back, I don't recal ever succesfully popping a clutch on a bike before. I can recall trying it once with the old Honda CB500T. Trying to pull off that maneuver on two wheels on gravel is... interesting. Tonight, Sera started for me. I rolled across the street into the post office parking lot. There I zipped up my jacket and strapped on my helmet. Yep, I broke the law again. The night air was warm, but the jacket helped to protect my sweat soaked body from cooling off too quickly.
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