Lipstick on a Pig

My favorite thing about rules is the trouble people will go through in trying to avoid breaking them while essentially breaking them. They can't seem to be bothered to break them good and hard.

Firms Offer Muslims Alternatives To Mortgages

Islam forbids charging interest in the belief that it exploits people, but it allows making money off actual goods. Aqbal worked with an Islamic finance company to buy his $300,000 condo. He put in $30,000 and the finance company put in the rest, so they essentially bought it together. Instead of paying a mortgage, Aqbal will pay rent until he eventually buys the company out of its share. The company charges a fee for Aqbal's exclusive use of the house, but considers that profit, not interest. It'll end up costing practically the same as a mortgage; the methodology is what's different.

'You have essentially the same type of product,' says Hussam Qutub of Guidance Financial, an Islamic finance firm. He uses the analogy of a potato chip fried in pig fat — pork is forbidden to Muslims — and a potato chip fried in something more acceptable, like vegetable oil.

To put it another way, this whole finance business is a bunch of horse shit, because pig shit would be unacceptable to Muslims. If you live in a house with a mortgage or you rent-to-own, stop making payments and you lose your house and your ass is on the street.

You can put lipstick on a pig or garters on a goat but they still won't let you bring it as your prom date. Trust me on that one.