Free Levi!Bill Maher is a very funny man. Sure, he can sound a bit know-it-all condescending on his show. It is his show. His humor is often rooted in common sense and pokes fun at those who seem to not just defy logic, but those who run in the opposite direction screaming.
We’ve all recently seen how evil henchman of the Republican party captured this poor innocent out of his natural habitat and forced him into a shotgun wedding, all so that their campaign narrative of fake family values could be upheld. When the 17-year-old daughter of the vice presidential candidate running on the Jesus ticket is “out to here,” it’s just better that Levi was introduced as the “fiancé.” Looks a little less white trashy.
So when he encourages young Levi Johnston to abscond, where does he go wrong?
It's not that Levi fucked the daughter of a Republican governor. I'm all for that. It's the kind of thing I would do out of spite and enjoy. But what about birth control? You gotta remember to wrap up your hockey stick before the game.
You see, Levi is an idiot. He had unprotected sex with the daughter of a prominent pro-lifer. Bad idea. He is also a self-professed redneck boozer stoner hockey jock who until recently sported a mullet. If we let this guy roam the streets freely he'll have idiot spawn crowding classrooms up and down the west coast. Best to lock him up in a shotgun marriage under public scrutiny.Besides, the likelihood that this relationship will last is practically zero. They might have a gun to his head for a maximum of eight years (and a few months). During that time he can use his new found 'friends' to get him into any college he wants, muscle into corporate power positions, and go on drunken coke binges. When this nightmare is over, he can bolt and sell story rights to FOX. If you look at the big picture, there are lots of opportunities to be had by sticking with the carrier of the abdominal parasite he helped to create. You'd think Bill Maher would recognize this terrific opportunity.
In the end Levi is just a mullet headed redneck hockey jock. He'll go along with whatever coach tells him to do.
1 comment:
Probably the worst part of his self induced sentence is that he will have to put up with a very meddling mother in law and his chances of scoring other booty are shot! Of course this is great news for the tabloids. Imagin him straying from the White House fold. The media hadn't had that much fun since old Bill and the blue dress.
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