Wisconsin May Take a Shot at Eliminating Stray Cats

I can hardly contain myself after reading this news story about how Wisconsin May Take a Shot at Eliminating Stray Cats. At first I simply wondered why the government needed to intervene in this at all. I mean every farmer knows that when a stray cat wanders on to their property, they can shoot at it. But this is the age of laws, and such a law would protect hunters from zealous cat lovers who don't fully grasp the situation.

When a friend of mine moved to Portland, one of the first things he commented was, "Have you noticed the abundance of stray cats and the absence of song birds? Think there's any connection?"

Yes, I am a cat killer. One of my favorite stories involves my dad and I clearing the farm of cats when they all got distemper. I stood outside the barn door with my shotgun. He would go inside, find a cat, grab it, and bring it to the door. I would then yell, "PULL!" In all, we shot about a dozen cats that day, father and son bonding over a grizzly but essential task. These were all pets. (It's probably inappropriate to bring up Terri Schiavo at this time.) And I learned something, too. Cats don't always land on their feet.

As a Presidential Candidate, I support Wisconsin's efforts to list stray domestic cats as an unprotected species. Pass the 12-gauge and put on the kettle.