Presidential Tentacle Porn: NSFW

You know that the government is screwing you. Why not make it by the President himself! Or at least his likeness.

Alternative Tentacles

Yes it s the long-anticipated dildo that features a likeness of the 44th President of the United States, Barack Obama!

When we say 'long' we mean 7 1/2" (and nearly 2" in diameter!). It's 14 ounces of TPR, Phthalate-Free Rubber & is made in San Francisco, CA. No batteries required. Previously it's only been available in sex shops & on-line sex sites.

That's right, former Dead Kennedys front man Jello Biafra's record label, Alternative Tentacles, is selling this somewhat disturbing sex toy.

In other disturbing sexual trends, this weekend is the 9th Annual Portland Masturbate-A-Thon. In the past I have given my endorsement of this event. After all, what could be finer than a charity event with a pro-masturbation message? This year it frightens me.

Darklady's Solo Sex Circus is pitching its big top tent over this year’s 9th Annual Portland Masturbate-a-thon for a fundraiser like no other. At last, your chance to run away and join a circus worth living in a trailer for!

Whether you’re a crazy clown, a gentle lion tamer, a nervous trapeze artist or a member of the super freak side show, Ringmistress Darklady will be happy to show you the ropes, the vibrators, the ThrillHammer, the MonkeyRocker, the silent auction, the potluck, the information table, the hoochie coochie girls, the guy stroking off while hanging from hooks and the bearded nuns… just for starters.

It makes me feel a bit prudish, but circuses and sex should not mix.

There are other things that should not be mixed with sex. Just something about creepy clowns and elephants...