Friday, April 18, 2008

More Jesse

If I agree with him only half the time, it's 99% more often than any other politician.

Thursday, April 17, 2008

None of the Above

Yes, I voted for Jesse Ventura when all the polls showed him coming in at a distant third.

Yes, I was excited as I saw the numbers roll in and it became apparent that he was the next governor of Minnesota.

Yes, I did not always agree with his policies.

Yes, he is probably the only elected official I thought did a damn fine job.

Yes, if he ran for President I would back out of the race and throw my support behind him.

But his idea for adding a "None of the Above" vote of no confidence category in all elections is something I really agree with. That would get me voting again.

Friday, April 11, 2008

When in Rome

When I think of Rome I think of sexually deviant politicians. Milly D'Abbraccio represents what is Rome.
Porn star unveils campaign weapon-her bottom

Targeting her male fan base, the veteran of Italy's adult entertainment industry has plastered images of her derriere all around the Eternal City in a bid to win a seat in Rome's city hall.
Makes sense. If you want to win a seat in government it's important to prove that you are capable of filling it.
If elected, D'Abbraccio wants to create a red light area with strip clubs, erotic discos and sex shops called "Love City" just kilometers away from the Vatican.
Terrible idea! One shouldn't go tainting the sanctity of strip clubs and sex shops by associating them with 'love'. Perhaps I could discuss this with her on my first Presidential trip to Rome.

Podcasting Update

Turns out people are actually listening to my podcast.

Thank you.

Tuesday, April 08, 2008

AWPC: State of the Election

My co-workers don't typically make off the cuff clever remarks. Today I was pleasantly surprised.
Gal 1: Who do you think will win this fall? Clinton or Obama?

Jake: I don't know and I don't really care. Both of them suck. They are only mildly better than McCain.

Gal 1: I think it will be one of those two, though.

Jake: It probably won't be me. My campaign hasn't been going too well.

Gal 2: I'll vote for you. At least I've actually spoken with you.

Jake: I probably won't even carry a state.

Gal 2: You could try for Rhode Island.

Sunday, April 06, 2008

Get Down Moses

Moses, former leader of the NRA, dies at age 84 according to his physician, Dr. Zaius.

There is no report of what kind of gun was finally pried from his cold, dead hand.

As a fellow crackpot eccentric civil libertarian and head of the National Sword Association I would like to state that his steadfast devotion to one of the first ten amendments to the Constitution (The Bill of Rights) was commendable and will be missed.

In unrelated news, Soylent Green announces their new Oscar award winning line of snacks.

Tuesday, April 01, 2008

Government vs. Religion, Fight to the Death


I've been saving these news links up for a while now. The progression fascinates me in much the same way the glowing light of a bug zapper fascinates a moth. Or so I assume since I have never been a moth. And it only bears a slight resemblance since the likely-hood of my fascination ending in a horrible and unexpected electrocution is slim. It still smells funny.

This news journey starts when the Dalai Lama threatened to resign.
The Dalai Lama on Tuesday invited international observers, including Chinese officials, to scour his offices here and investigate whether he had any role in inciting the latest anti-Chinese violence in Tibet. He also threatened to resign as leader of Tibet’s government-in-exile in the event of spiraling bloodshed in his homeland.
Why do so many people love the Dalai Lama? It might have to be the sense that the guy is open and honest to a degree most people can only hope to approximate. I might be wrong. If so, then the Dalai Lama can still have the title of world's best con man. Most outspoken religious leaders are as far from perfect as Ellen Degeneres is from dick.

The article goes on with:
He acknowledged there was growing frustration and a feeling that his "Middle Way" approach — no independence for Tibet but a large degree of autonomy — had achieved no concrete gains. But dismissed talk of any other path as impractical.
In many ways I have similar wishes for my relationship with the United States. I don't really need independence from the Union. What I want is a large degree of autonomy. Give me that and I will gladly call myself an American.

A while later we get to this:
China Calls for "Patriotic Education" for Tibet Monks

"His call for broader 'patriotic education' indicated the party would also move to exert greater control over religion in Tibet, requiring more Tibetans to accept the region as an inalienable part of China, denounce the Dalai Lama as a separatist and recognize the Chinese-appointed Panchen Lama."
Which is what we actually get in the United States as well. Place your hand on your heart and recite the Pledge of Loyalty... I mean Oath of Allegiance... I mean... you know what I mean. Or do you need some American Patriotic Education? We live in the best damn country in the whole damn world! Now stand up and pledge your soul to the red, white and blue idol that Jello Biafra refers to as 'The Yankee Swastika'.

Then today we get to the really sad part in all of this.
India asks Dalai Lama to refrain from political activities

"Dalai Lama is a religious leader. India will render all the hospitality to him as he is a respectable guest, he will have full freedom to preach religion in India but he can’t conduct any political activity in this country that harms India-China ties," External Affairs Minister Pranab Mukherjee said in remarks broadcast on TV channels.
With that statement India has gone from being the home to the Tibetan government-in-exile to passively accepting that Tibet is a legal territory of China. All hopes the Dalai Lama may have harbored of ever returning to the land of his birth were dashed to pieces by that one statement. The United States has been doing the same with the Native Americans since the founding of this country. We tell them that they are sovereign nations within the United States but instead treat them like religions with large land holdings. Granted they can put on a bigger Bingo night than St. Mary's.

For centuries man has been controlled by governments and religions. Thanks largely to the efforts of governments, no person can be forced to subject themselves to the rules of religions. It's now a choice. We're half way there.