Totally Warped

Punk's not dead, but it is under new ownership. It's not a bad thing, just strange to witness.

First off, thanks to Bob of Flogging Molly for getting us the hook-up. Most importantly, after spending $12 on two half pints of IPA, it was great to go back to the bus and be offered a beer. I'd swear that Flogging Molly gets better Guinness. Maybe it just soaks up all the good vibrations from the band. And Flogging Molly certainly puts some boot to the glutes.

The real story is in witnessing how the Warped Tour functions. Sorry, the Vans Warped Tour sponsored by AT&T. Don't get too down on the commercialism. For a relatively low ticket price of $32 a person can see several big name bands like Pennywise, Bad Religion, New Found Glory, The Toasters, Tiger Army, and of course, Flogging Molly. With the multiple stage set-up, they never have to wait for the next act like they would at a standard venue. And if they aren't interested in the current events on the main stages, there are a whole bunch of smaller stages where they can check out some new comers to the scene. Or they can go stand in line for ages to get autographs from their favorite band, receive free stuff from AT&T wireless, or just use the ATM. Seriously, the ticket is a bargain for concert hound kids on a budget. And with skateboarders, Mexican wrestlers, continual music, and constant band signings there is enough going on to keep even the worst case of ADHD entertained.

At least half the crowd was younger than my old studded belt. At least half the crowd was wearing studded belts that will not last half as long as mine has. Just in case they forgot to wear their studded belt, several booths offered them for sale on location. In fact, about the only item of scene clothing you couldn't buy there were pants. Maybe I just missed that booth. These kids have grown up in the Hot Topic era where everything they need to look like a goth/punk/emo kid is right there in the mall (with the end result being that they look like they shopped at Hot Topic). The items available at the Hot Topic booth were considerably more selective. Because of the target age group, there was no piercing or tattooing taking place.

But this was less of a concert and more of a freak scene convention. At every convention you'll see hordes of people running around talking on their phones with a plastic grab bag full of freebies and impulse purchases clutched in their hands. The faces and the labels were all that had changed. Given enough time it is easy to imagine half these bands getting together for the Home Depot Emo Renovation Tour. Are you ready to DRYWALL!? Don't worry kids, you've got a good ten years yet. Enjoy it while you can. And buy lots of your favorite band's merchandise so they can afford to eat and will live to be on the Home Depot Renovation Tour (presented by Morgan Stanley).

On the novel side, this was my first large scale exposure to Emo culture. The core of Emo is similar to that of the suburban alternal kids of the grunge era with a bit more goth, metal, and punk stirred in for seasoning and baked for a couple hours every weekend. Emo girls are anorexic waifs (or ones too chicken to puke) with heavy eyeliner and the hair of Rod Stewart dyed black. The boys are too. As for the music, I never lived in the 'burbs so it doesn't mean anything to me. At least I'm guessing that's why I don't get it. The alternative explanation would just be unnecessarily mean.

But I can't get down on the show's scene. None of these kids seemed put out at all by my being there. In fact, there were several who inquired about where I got my kilt and boots. Having grown up being put down for my outward appearance with total disregard for my abilities and still having to face such discriminations, it is wonderful to see broader acceptance of alternative fashion statements. Piercings of the nose, lip and brow I once performed on myself and friends using safety pins and farm hypos are now seen everywhere and available for purchase at shops in cities and towns everywhere. And nothing says acceptance like a teenager willing to lay out a fist full of dollars (or their parent's credit card) to look just like you.

Too bad none of them are old enough to vote for me.

How to be Emo