The Gospel According to Jake

Looks like I might have to start my own church. A co-worker asked if I could perform a marriage ceremony for him. I looked up Oregon's regulations and found out;

Ministers of any church organized, carrying on its work, and having congregations in this state may perform marriages in this state if authorized by their church to do so.

So while my ULC credentials are legit, if I don't have an actual church to go with it, I can't use my credentials. But if I'm going to go through the trouble of starting my own church with a regular 'congregation' I need it to be something that I can actually get up on a pulpit and scream my fool head off about. Coffee and beer make me quite loquacious. Both of them are brewed beverages. It would be like the Free Masons, only the Brewers. That name isn't being used for any other purpose, is it? I had to give up on the Viking religion because everyone thought I was part of some sports team. Damn you, Portland State University!

Or maybe I could walk in with my Discordian Pope card and explain to them how it's against my religion to have a church and congregation since my first act as a Pope was to excommunicate all the other Popes. We also happen to be the world's largest disorganized religion. But then there is the whole issue of the government not accepting the validity of Discordianism. Which is absolutely absurd since Discordians don't accept the validity of government.

Or I could tell the guy I can't do it, but what's the fun in that?