Americans Winning the Drug War!

The fine freedom loving folks of America are winning the Drug War! Just check out these statistics on National Marijuanna Use and you can see it for yourself. Despite the illegal status of marijuanna, more than a tenth of Bostonians, in the proud tradition of their founding fathers, reported using marijuanna. Boston Tea Party, indeed! That's right, they REPORTED using marijuanna within the 30 days previous to the study. That means a lot of people probably didn't report their drug use. After all, using marijuanna IS illegal. Not only that, but more casual users who only break the law a few times a year also may not have had their use counted.

I salute you, proud strong Americans. You understand that just because some government tells you not to do something that affects only you (and those who choose to get all dramatic about your personal choices) that you don't have to listen if you don't want to. You have stood up for Liberty. You have not let them push you around or silence you. You fine, proud Americans are WINNING the drug war against a tyranical government that wants to pry into as many aspects of our personal lives as they can get away with. I may not be sparking up a bowl but I feel better knowing people are. Fight On!

"It's not a war on drugs, it's a war on personal freedom. Keep that in mind at all times." -Bill Hicks

I know, I said I would swear off news except for science news. This crept into one of my science news sources.

Fruit

I could really go for a banana right now.

The Problem With Campaign Promises

Check out my friend's blog on the pickle Minnesota's Governor has gotten himself into.

Knight of Pan: Gov. Pawlenty Learns Crime Doesn't Pay!

If you tell voters you plan on taxing them rather than cutting services, you can not win an election. If you tell voters you will not raise taxes, but then do, you usually wind up not getting re-elected. Rarely does anyone decide to cut services. That's the government crack. Everybody wants their services. Gimme Gimme Gimme!

As the Divinely Appointed King of North America, I here-by abolish all individual taxes and shift that burden over to business and industry and heavy tarrifs on all imported goods except beverages. God told me to do it.

Cruising

I went for a sweet ride today.

Filled the '73 up with gas, started heading for the veggie stand, then said, "Fuck it. Food can wait." Hit some backroads and got a beautiful view of Mt. Hood surrounded by farmland and trees. Couldn't tell you any of the roads I took. I just rode.

Should do that more often. Best ride of the summer.

Serial

Pile enough crap onto a situation and the human brain just shuts down and can't seem to fathom it. Like when you find out your kindly old uncle who you've always thought highly of is a pedophile priest heroin addict with mob connections and the world's largest Bazooka Joe comic collection. You hear the words but the scale just slips by.

George and his Junta do that to a lot of people. Foot-in-mouth disease, lieing pig fucker, priviledged daddy's boy, draft dodger, corporate thief, business failure, arrogant bastard, coke fiend, alcoholic, puppet. Can you feel the brain just glazing over? You read and register each one but by the time you finish the list, the first ones have just sort of disappeared and the rest will soon follow. So you think of the guy as "messed up". Well, we all feel messed up at times. We can gloss that, right? No, this guy defies our sensibilities. He goes so far beyond fuck-up.

Feel free to use that as a talking point with any Bush supporters. Accuse them of letting their brains shut down. Offer to take them to a psychologist.

Dead Milkmen - Brat in the Frat

Hey!
I do not like you college brat
I do not like you and your frat
I do not like you at the shore
I do not like you drunk on Coors
I do not like your average life
I hope you do not take a wife
I hope you don't decide to breed
Cause that's one thing I do not need

I do not like you radical
I hate you and your fancy school
You're wrong about the working class
I hope they kick your Harvard ass
I do not like you world of ours
I'd rather live on planet Mars
And die from lack of oxygen
Than breathe the air of other men
Hey!

Giving Up News

I wish I had a heroine or amphetamine addiction. Programs and treatment methods exist to help you kick those habits. People in general will seem supportive of your efforts. Instead, I have decided to stop feeding my news addiction. It sucks. While clearing the news sources from my start page, I couldn't keep myself from clicking on five headlines. Yesterday I seemed powerless to keep from scrolling down my subscription menu that lists the latest headlines. Strength and perseverance. I want to give up news for one month. Just one month. I don't want journalisticly filtered reality. My senses will guide me. Just one month. I can feel the shakes coming on. "Just one news story, come on, check out the Sydney Morning Herald." NO! No news. I can do this.

I realize that the random news event will filter through my co-workers. Inevitable. That doesn't count since they seem to get the facts screwed up half the time anyway.

No radio news. I got the tape deck working.

No television news. Not even the weather.

I will allow myself one guilty pleasure. Science news. But only once a week.

NEWS FLASH!

Despite concerted effort by the Bush Junta, many people still thinking for themselves.

Pat Robertson

This man needs to perform seppuku. Then I might consider him truly apologetic.

Speaking of Things

I want a British accent.

When I say things with my mid-range, middle American accent, sarcasm can sound bitter or get missed entirely.

The Brits have the perfect accent for sarcasm and dry whit.

Sympathetic PMS

Last night I had a dream.

I stood in a chocolate shop, wanting desperately to purchase a dark chocolate tart.

I would ask for the dark chocolate tart, but the staff kept pointing out other dark chocolate delights I could purchase, and never gave me the dark chocolate tart.

I know it's not my period that's coming, but I'd still like the dark chocolate tart.

Who's Afraid of the Big Bad Bush?

Damn, this pig fucker seems to be able to get away with just about anything. Not talking about anything specific. Just saying this guy has the nation wrapped around his agenda just like Hitler did. Which doesn't make sense when you consider that Hitler had a powerful public speaking ability and King George can't even read his lines without fucking it up.

Maybe he should try to communicate through interpretive dance. Then instead of lieing he could say that we just misunderstood him.

Critical Mass

I think the blogging in my circle of acquaintances (since I have no friends) has nearly peaked. One individual who started to actually use their account to just sort through their own head, seems to have acted as the infamous straw. Shortly after that, just about everyone who will blog had started up a blog.

Reminds me of when I used to put one too many scoops of shit in the wheel barrow.

On Reading Blogs

I feel a lot better knowing that I AM insane. It gets really tough reading blogs of people who for one reason or another think they aren't insane.

Death to everyone except 12 individuals of my choosing, 137 random males, and 976 random females. I'm speaking only of humans. We need all the corn and puppies.

On Being Cool

Being cool is fucking awesome.

I wasn't always cool. For years, growing up, it seemed like everyone insisted I wasn't cool. I accepted that. Then one day I looked up to discover that somehow I had become cool. It was a relatively easy transition. All I had to do was stop trying, stop caring, and just be myself. There was a cool person inside me just waiting to emerge.

Luckily I don't mind isolation because being cool can be a bit lonely. The hip and the trendy have loads of friends they must surround themselves with as constant reminders that they are part of the in-crowd. The cool stand alone. I think it has something to do with the cool aura and people falling into the "I'm not worthy" mind set. It's all good. It means people don't bother me at the coffee shop when I'm trying to read or write.

The best part about being cool is making hip, trendy types squirm in discomfort. It takes a lot of work to be hip. You have to be seen with the right people, eat the right food, wear the right clothes, listen to the right music, and drink the right beer/wine/coffee/tea/whatever. It also seems to help if you can list at least ten bands that no one has ever heard of but you 'know' are the greatest undiscovered talents. I don't have to put up with all that bull shit. I can hang with rock stars, Jesus freaks, and rednecks if I so choose. I can eat at Taco Bell or Big Daddy's BBQ instead of going out for bento, sushi, or mock dog shit or whatever else is the plate du jour. I can wear a beat up t-shirt and my oily, smelly work pants. I can buy a Rolling Stones greatest hits album without having to appreciate the irony. In the middle of August I can drink dark beer and dark roast coffee. The hip crowd knows that their trendy status is tenuous at best, and my presence is a constant reminder of the fleeting nature of their shaky social standing. One screw-up and they will get shamed off to the suburbs. I can do all kinds of stupid shit and it will usually just make me cooler.

I didn't really want to be cool. At some point in the middle of the whole grunge/slacker hip scene I just said fuck it. A few years later, all these people started telling me how cool I was. They just don't stop. Everywhere I go people feel the need to tell me I'm so cool. You learn to accept it and live with it after a while. It's a sweet gig. Imagine being able to tell people that The Hives suck, Bjork is barely tolerable, and ABBA rules. And I can maintain that position indefinitely because I don't have to stay hip, I'm already cool.

There-in lies the danger. I'm cool as long as I never try to be hip. Luckily I have no clue nor any desire to be hip, so I'm safe for now.

Terrorist Profiling

I continue to see and hear a lot a hulabula about young male Muslims of Middle Eastern origins. Supposedly this group and only this group should be targeted for terrorism profiling. At least that's a lot of what seems to cross my path.

Let's be fair. The second largest terrorist attack to happen on U.S. soil was in Oklahoma City. The young man who was put to death for this crime was Irish-Catholic and former U.S. Millitary.

The guy credited with the assasination of JFK was white and former millitary.

Remember the bombing spree where some young white guy thought it would be fun to stick bombs in people's mailboxes in hopes that the resulting explosions would leave a smiley face if mapped from above?

What about the SLA?

A little Helter Skelter in the California suburbs?

Columbine?

Sorry folks. Your pleas for racially based profiling fall on deaf ears here.

The Miracle of Children

A guy at work told me, "Having kids is the best thing I've ever done in my life." What a grand accomplishment! The guy manages to get one out of a billion sperm to perform it's biological imperative on three separate occasions. He has managed to bring three more resource consumers into the world. Not having had kids, how could I possibly compare the worth of my life to his? I mean I've only done things like;

- Starred in a short film directed by an Emmy award winning videographer opposite a prime time television actress
- Washed dishes at a small country club
- Had a one act play written about me and performed
- Worked as a security guard
- Have been in three bands
- Butchered and plucked chickens
- Directed stage lighting for a pop band
- Been kicked out of bars
- Organized several music festivals
- Sold designer perfume knock-offs door-to-door
- Built a custom chopper
- Participated in a 'cat trap shoot'
- Received international attention for my assemblage sculpture work
- Repaired hay wagons
- Hosted a weekly radio program
- Dug ditches
- Designed the cover for a best-selling erotic sci-fi novel
- Shampooed hotel carpets
- Abandoned someone else's car in the middle of nowhere
- Was ordained as a minister
- Pissed on the grave of someone I didn't even know
- Received a Doctorate of Divinity
- Shoveled shit twice a day
- Was a shop steward during the largest State Workers Strike in US History
- Scrounged through my room mate's cigarette butts for the half smoked ones
- Guest Lectured at several Universities
- Fell in love

I know, I've lead a pitiful existence. Maybe if I could father a child, if instead of raising cows, pigs, sheep, horses, chickens, ducks, dogs, and cats, I raised a homo-sapien, maybe then I would know a true sense of accomplishment. Maybe if I succumb to the process by which biological forms have propagated their species for millennia, maybe then I could say I've done something worthwhile in my life.

Until then I'll have to just keep writing, drawing, sculpting, filming, playing, and doing whatever else comes along in a vain effort to feel successful.

The Reds

Why is it that Republicans, once thought to be so anti-Communist, now seem intent on making every state in the U.S. a Red State?

By Right Divine!

The Lady of the Lake, her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite, held aloft Caliber X from the bosom of the water signifying by Divine Providence that I, Jacob Arthur, was to carry Caliber X, the Gun of Power.

That is why I am your King!