This Podcasting Stuff

Still figuring out how best to do this podcasting business. Trying out having the podcaster and a list of my most recent episodes in the sidebar. Feel free to give feed back and suggestions on this stuff so I can actively ignore you.

Kids for Guns Program

India offers firearms permits for vasectomies - Times Online

A scheme that trades one male status symbol for another has achieved a large rise in the number of men undergoing vasectomies in a bandit-ridden region of central India.

Shivpuri district in the state of Madhya Pradesh, an overpopulated area renowned for its machismo culture, has started to offer fast-tracked gun icences for those who agree to be sterilised.

Brilliant! The United States should consider doing this.

Lucky Socks?

The LucSoc is not about footwear. It stands for Luciferian Society. Luciferians are an often misunderstood group. Most people see no difference between a Luciferian and a Satanist. Once I told a Lutheran that I saw very little difference between their religion and that of the Methodists. The individual launched into the nuances that differentiated the two. To Christians, the differences between denominations is meaningful. And the differences between Luciferians and Satanists is more akin to the differences between Jews and Catholics who, from an outside perspective, appear to worship the same deity.

So when I found this list explaining the Luciferian Society (LucSoc) I figured I would share the contents while providing a personal view of each statement. If you really don't give a damn about the LucSoc, are afraid for your soul if you read on, or don't think I can come up with anything worth your valuable reading time, then skip this article. It promises to be on the long side. Which is perfect for you people who want to waste time.

To understand what we are, you must understand where we came from. The Luciferian Society was started by Mobius Frame in 2004, to "assist marginals in gaining POWER." Lucifer/Prometheus, as described by Christopher S. Hyatt in Pacts with the Devil, was Mobius Frame's original inspiration for naming the group:

Luciferian = anti-belief, pro-empiricism, pro-action (generally).

Society: a group of people who share an interest/aim.

I could argue that a society is a group of people who have come to some sort of agreement to not kill or maim each other over petty differences. Your average society is coldly cordial at best. But perhaps they are defining their own particular use of the term. Fine.

As for the group having it's origins based on the work of the late Dr. Hyatt, they picked fine source material. Dr. Christopher Hyatt was one Hell of a Man.

In 2007, I came together with Mobius Frame, who had already developed a working relationship with Bret Stalcup. Saikyoryu joined us immediately thereafter and we bonded as the core meme-bearers of the group. 183 members later and we are finally starting to summarize what we have been teaching in a more tangible form, rather than on a case by case basis.

'Meme-bearers.' I like it when people take two separate words to create a new word that eludes to a pre-existing word but with specific connotations that fit their particular purpose. It's a neat trick. I did it myself when I developed my theory of ConScience. But what is this teaching thing you speak of? Teaching things to meme-bearers sounds a bit Manson family in my opinion. You start with good intentions. That's the first mistake and it all tends to go down the shitter from there.

Our purpose could be stated simply: The LucSoc exists to encourage individual evolution though the application of 3rd Wave techniques.

Ooo. Sounds fancy!

We subscribe to an eloquent ideoform prepared by Bret Stalcup:

1st Wave: Concerned the people and principles of the Magic/k & Myth period. The Masons, The Rosicrucians, The Golden Dawn, the OTO, The A:. A:., their predecessors, etc..

2nd Wave: The Hyatt/Leary/Burroughs/RAW/McKenna/etc.. wave, parallel to the Chaos Magick and Discordianism currents.

3rd Wave: The specific application of refined, effective techniques of the 1st & 2nd Waves to promote self evolution and power. FUCK LIMITATION – DESTROY IT IF YOU CAN.

Excellent! When starting a cult it is always important to set yourself up as the latest and greatest incarnation. Each of these groups had the answer and now you also have the answer but this time it is for real. If these things have worked for you, great. Teaching them to others creates clones of your ilk. This is great if what you want to do is scam a bunch of people out of as much money as you can. Not so awesome if you actually want to promote self evolution. But I agree without any limitation to the final, all caps statement.

The very core of our 3rd Wave movement is identified in a few, ever expanding areas we deem necessary for increased development. Echoing within each is the simple axiom: Reject what is static and stagnant – embrace the dynamic. Challenge yourself!

Our members receive access to experts in everything from Martial Arts to Law, from Research Biologists to Psychiatrists to Magickians, yes – even Judges and Politicians. Only those actively applying the below rise to our highest ranks, and at that level our collective expertise is at the disposal of the member, who is expected to act in kind (Quid Pro Quo). Think “Fight Club” without the terrorist overtones. In short, those who come to us with potential are refined into their most realistic ideal, their shortcomings obliterated and their latent talents refined. They then become prepared to accept their birthright from the perspective of accomplishment, their magick becomes focused and their ability to create their own reality is realized. To achieve this, we have recognized a general guideline:

Cool! Somehow your group has managed to succeed where all of your predecessors have failed. You have weeded out loafers, free loaders, and rich idiots who buy their way to the top. Kudos to you. It must have been difficult. I love the phrasing here. It prescribes that only those who practice what the LucSoc teaches will rise to the highest ranks. It then states that at that level (presumably meaning the highest ranks) everyone shares their 133+ skilz. So the poor schmucks who try really hard but just can't get it right are shit out of luck. It's probably for the best.

On to the LIST!

1. You must be articulate. In other words, you must be able to communicate your points verbally and in writing, succinctly. You may have the greatest leadership skills and the most cutting edge ideas, but if you cannot communicate them in an intelligent manner, it is the same as not possessing the skill in the first place.

I've got no problems with this one. Hanging with illiterate fuctards blows major chunks.

2. You must possess a functional understanding of leadership principles. If you do not know how to lead, you cannot possibly expect people to know how to follow you. Basic study of sociology, political science and business are good ways to foster this understanding.

Here I completely disagree. Real leadership happens. If you have to foster and nurture the skill, you are seeking dictatorial command. Do your thing and if others come along for the ride, you're a leader.

3. You must develop and nurture an analytical mind. An analytical mind helps one remain reasonable and logical, even when overcome with emotional bias. Further, this mind possesses the key to separating you from your primal urges and vestigial instincts. A keen knowledge of physical emotional responses helps you not only to read others, but to understand your own internal dialogue. Emotions are indicators to pay attention to – not laws by which to live ones life.

Great. Just remember that none of the greatest leaders in history have been accountants or machinists. Aspiring to achieve greatness and power is not a logical pursuit.

4. You must make your body strong and healthy. Mother DNA has granted us all the ability to improve the basic strength of almost every system in our bodies. Doing so not only helps reinforce the separation of mind/body that develops through rigorous exercise, but ultimately prepares you for a more rigorous pursuit of evolution. As a side benefit, the core skills necessary to defend yourself, those you care about and your property become more powerful – and more recognizable. Your body is the most easily recognizable testament to your mastery of self-discipline.

Yeah! Go fuck yourself, Stephen Hawking! You are weak and worthless. For every rule there is at least one exception. If there is one, then there are almost certainly some. If there are some there might as well be an infinite number given the vastness of space/time. Nice suggestion, though.

5. You must learn to defend yourself and that which is dear to you. To lead is to be challenged. Although your methods are left to your preference, you should participate in sparring whenever possible so that you may learn to feel the damage one body can inflict upon another. This is the only way you will further evaluate the damage you can inflict upon another.

Or just make regular visits to your friendly neighborhood dominatrix. She'll be all too happy to show you what kind of damage can be inflicted on your body. Or perhaps the LucSoc has such a trained professional at their disposal. Seriously, a pro-dom knows more about various types of non-lethal torture than the CIA.

6. You must be able to quiet your thoughts. A daily practice of meditation is essential for the development of your inner eye, which is the key that will open every portal you encounter. We recommend a course of study beginning with the Mahasatipatthana Sutta. Liber MMM by Peter Carroll is another valued course of study.

Good skill to have. Many techniques exist towards this end. Why recommend only two?

7. Your magick must be effective and results oriented. Dogmatic and spiritual methods negatively impact your ability to remain autonomous. Paradigms which require you to barter with entities should be avoided at all costs.

Unless you have excellent bartering skills and can talk to demons like you are trying to sell them a used car.

8. Your mind must remain free from Dogmatic attachment. Acts of “faith”, while acts of genuine risk, seldom play to your advantage outside of religious tracts. The belief in a power greater than one’s self serves to limit the potential of the individual to a set of fictitious constructs completely outside the control of the individual. The only limitation, be it physical, mental or emotional comes from Mother DNA Herself. Your mind must remain open so that you can realize any other limitation is SELF-IMPOSED.

Denounce all personifications of impersonal forces that operate within you and without you! Listen only to the great goddess herself, Mother DNA!

9. You must absorb your legacy. Although it is not necessary to have an intimate relationship with 2nd wave materials, a broad understanding of the works of the 2nd wave will provide a theoretical groundwork for your personal 3rd wave application. Where they provide techniques in theory, we have refined and combined them in practice.

Yeah, see, it's statements like the last one that keep me from hooking up with any more cults. Somehow they've taken all this stuff from other people before them and managed to form something meaningful out of it that they are willing to share with you. So you got something meaningful out of it. Fantastic. Why do you feel the need to make certain others get the same kind of meaning out of it? Are you scared somebody might get an answer different from your own? Is it possible that you are wrong and surrounding yourself with a hallucination that will be your undoing? Bigger, faster, stronger, same old shit.

10. You must develop the skill to multitask. This skill is crucial to advancement. It is also good to learn to turn one eye inward, and one eye outward when operating on any level.

Never whistle while you're pissing. If you don't know why, try doing it some time.

11. You must develop a variety of skills. Any one of which could facilitate your survival or increase your value to a service based community. Your skills are the currency beyond currency.

Yep.

12. You must remain educated about the world around you. The study of newspapers and periodicals of a national and international variety will help you understand the various factors in play around you politically, economically and developmentally. Blogs and other on-line resources are also important for this purpose.

And eventually you will learn that they are all a big hoax you wish you could escape from.

13. You must appreciate the creativity and creation around you. A taste for aesthetically pleasing pastimes such as music and the arts, and a developed sense of humor is critical. Intellectuals often chose comedy as a medium for communication of ideas not-grasped by the general populace, but overlooked because of the humorous context.

Why not. Nobody wants to hang out with people who think Paul Anka rocks.

14. You must figuratively pay for your own ticket. Members should have careers that afford them some luxuries, LucSoc meets and parties. We do not provide charity to our members except under the most horrible circumstances.

Smart move. You can't get blood from a turnip, or so they say.

15. Finally, as has been implied, bow down to no god or man.

Least of all the LucSoc.

All this said, the LucSoc looks a hell of a lot more appealing than most cults out there. I could read through their tenets and with the right frame of mind agree with just about all of it. But structure is a dangerous thing. There are always those out there looking to exploit even the most well written, well meaning guidelines. As such, I could never adhere to any group's 'rules'. I have a hard enough time adhering to my own.

Why is all this posted here on my campaign page? Even though the framers of the Constitution most likely never envisioned such a thing as the LucSoc, their first amendment should apply to them as equally as it does to any religious group. I say this as someone who likes to exploit even the most well written, well meaning of guidelines. Exploit them wide open in an encouragement of ever greater freedom.

Great Spinning Body Bags!

He is technically right but has chosen to spin it right round.

Death toll of U.S. soldiers in Iraq reaches 4,000

The U.S. military dismisses such tolls as arbitrary markers.

'It is artificial in the sense that somehow the 4,000th tragic loss somehow will be different from the first,' U.S. military spokesman Rear Admiral Greg Smith told Reuters in an interview last week.

Absolutely! The first death was just as horrible and reprehensible and preventable as the 4,000th. Calling the milestone artificial is twisted use of language that attempts to state a truth in such a way as to downplay the importance of the fact contained within.

Although Americans are more preoccupied with domestic economic troubles, the Iraq war is still an important issue in the presidential campaign, with Democratic hopefuls Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama calling for a timetable for withdrawal.

This is one of the clear and very real differences between myself and other candidates. If a corrupt administration could send those troops over there with little to no input or consent of other branches of government then I an administration can pull them out immediately. There is no need to ask anyone for a timetable. The proper time is right-fucking-now!

We should not have gone in. The longer our stay, the greater the insult to the region. Our elected officials fucked up. Get out now!

Some random person walks up to you late one evening and sticks and knife in your belly. "Oh! Sorry mate. I thought you were someone else." The damage is done and you're pissed. But now instead of pulling the blade out, he leaves it there. His hand is shaking all the time. But he insists that if you just wait for the wound to heal around the intruding foreign body everything will be fine. It doesn't matter one bit if you were going to midnight mass or on your way to rob a bank, this guy mistakenly attacked you. Pull out and let real healing begin.

And for those who like to pray, say a lot of prayers that the attacked doesn't decide to kick us in our collective asses.

What The Hell Is Going On In Finance?

Reprinted in it's entirety as a public service to my readership and election supporters who wish to have a better understanding of the financial mess we are currently in.

JPMorgan Chase Acquires Bear Stearns In Tedious-To-Read News Article | The Onion

NEW YORK—As a volatile market reacts to news of the Bear Stearns fire-sale deal with a surge in stock prices but reduced bond yield, officers from JPMorgan Chase announced Monday that they were close to finalizing plans to purchase the securities giant in an incredibly complex series of financial maneuvers and obscure legal jargon that can only be described in the most mind-numbingly dense and unreadable way. Successfully adding yet another infuriating block of text to an already indecipherable paragraph, some investors said they hoped to stave off bankruptcy for Bear Stearns, which, during last year's impossible-to-write-about mortgage crisis, saw its value depreciate almost as quickly as readers' interest in this story. 'Critics on the equity side have no economic standing because the deal valuation is based on intrinsic pricing models,' said analyst Jack Pinard, only further bogging down the news for anyone who might be remotely interested in grasping what the fuck is going on. While speculation spread on Wall Street that shareholders might angle to boost the selling price beyond JP Morgan's very low but federally guaranteed bid, others claimed to be absolutely amazed that you even made it to the end of this sentence."

Even Worse Than I Remember

Commie Pinko Strippers

While I've taken up campaign headquarters at the local Lucky Devil Lounge, if I lived in San Francisco I would certainly be at the Lusty Lady.

I've followed this story for some time now. It's good to see it getting more news attention. This was the first strip club in the USA that went union. This is what happens when your boss dicks you around. (The joke had to be made.) The boss' answer to the girls unionizing? He tried to shut down the club. So the strippers took it over and started their own peep show collective.

When strippers take over the club

The Lusties, as they call themselves, enlisted the help of other local co-ops such as Rainbow Grocery and Good Vibrations, a local female-run sex-toy shop.

They learned the ins and outs of running a collective business and hammered out articles of incorporation within days.

These ladies should be an inspiration to everyone.

When the Lusty Lady went collective there was some debate about dropping the union. After all, if you work for yourself, why do you need union representation? From what I understand they decided to keep the union in place, just in case things got weird in the future. It takes some smart people to have enough foresight to say they might be capable of being on the other end of the dicking.

Portland may be the strip club capital of this country, but the clubs here have nothing on the Lusty Lady. They serve as a model and inspiration for both collectivism and libertarian free market economics.

Cake and Eat It!

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

Don't forget to Irish up your coffee before (and during) work.

Goons Gone Wild

With the CIA destroying video tapes of questionable interrogations and the Defense Department stock piling their own brand of snuff films, questions are being raised.

Pentagon Cites Tapes Showing Interrogations - New York Times

The Defense Department is conducting an extensive review of the videotaping of interrogations at military facilities from Iraq to Guantanamo Bay, and so far it has identified nearly 50 tapes, including one that showed what a military spokesman described as the forcible gagging of a terrorism suspect...

The review was intended in part to establish clearer rules for any videotaping of interrogations, Defense officials said.

I guess the problem isn't that they are torturing people, it's that they are filming the torture of people. We need clearer rules so that interrogators know to turn the camera off before the jumper cables come out.

Or we could just not torture. But there I go again with simple solutions. I'm so silly.

The Superclass

Kings and Queens and Millionaires may never know what I have known. Thus goes the line from an untitled track on the Social Distortion album White Light, White Heat, White Trash. Which may be true, but it doesn't stop people from trying to tell us the way things are going to be whether we like it or not.

Superclass: The Global Power Elite and the World They Are Making

"Superclass" makes a case that today's elites are an improvement on those of the past: Instead of inherited aristocracy or sheer military might, power is more likely to go to the smart, ambitious and hardworking. Membership is fluid to an unprecedented extent, with new people muscling their way into the inner circle and slackers dropping out of the bottom all the time. Still, as Rothkopf points out, the ranks of this elite are overwhelmingly older males of European descent who graduated from prestigious Western colleges. Critics have been complaining for years that Davos is too Eurocentric, one reason why the Boao Forum for Asia was started for Eastern financial honchos in 1998.

Above all, like anybody else -- in fact, more than anybody else, given the obsessive, often narcissistic energy required of moguls, politicians and would-be messiahs -- these people are self-interested. However gifted, they should not be allowed to operate in a vacuum. The difficulty is that most of them exercise their power transnationally, while laws and regulations are confined within the borders of nation-states (which Rothkopf, in classic Davos-man style, regards as doomed). "We must resist the temptation to reflexively attack elites," he writes, since human societies need leaders and this is an able bunch, but elites ought to be more accountable to the millions of people whose lives they affect. Otherwise, as history (and the current upsurge in religious extremism) shows, they may provoke a violent and chaotic backlash.

I am not now, nor have I ever been a member of the Superclass. I'm smart and hardworking so it must be because I'm not ambitious enough. (I also never attended a prestigious Western college.) Fine by me. Egocentrism unchecked is a nasty vice. It can make the privileged feel as though they have some sort of right to power.

Bullocks to that! My brand of egocentrism is different. By recognizing that I am a self-absorbed bastard I can apply that knowledge to my opinions and see them as such. Some times. Not always. Even I get swept into the elitism of egocentric thoughts. So far I have always managed to pull myself back down and continue to harbor the notion that my answers are no better than anyone else's. Of course I might be wrong about that. See? Humility.

And while I often find myself in leadership positions, I categorically reject the idea that we need leaders. Everyone who agrees should follow me and Vote Jake!

Confidence!

Are you the kind of guy who loves big? Big trucks, big dogs, big motorcycles, and big beer? Then this is not the gun for you.

Introducing the world's smallest gun
Officially the world's smallest working revolver, the gun is being marketed as a collector's item and measures just 2.16 inches long (5.5cm). It can fire real 4.53 bullets up to a range of 367ft (112m).

This is a handgun for a man of confidence. Carrying something like this says to the world, "I am so confident in my masculinity that I only carry a gun as a matter of Second Amendment right instead of for any real purpose." That is a bold statement.

I'm more of a sword person myself, but I can understand the attitude. I usually only carry a knife. I have a tiny pocket knife that I used to wear as an earring. The blade isn't even a half inch long.

While my coworkers often purchase large tools or multi-piece tool sets, I am known for my collection of small tools. I have the smallest adjustable wrench any of them has ever seen. My set of micro wrenches have often been called 'cute'. Even my ball-peen hammer is less than half the size of other people's.

I don't need to compensate. Which is yet another reason to Vote Jake! Look at how the little man from a big state constantly feels the need to prove his masculinity to the world. I am large and confident. That is something that can benefit the entire country.

Action Rangers

X, my enlisted VP, needs to remember his other duties once we are elected. It's not all shadow governments and secret meetings.

Clinton + Obama = WTF?

I read the news this morning and stashed it away for later reference. It intrigued me.

Clinton hints at sharing ticket with Obama

Asked on CBS's The Early Show whether she and Obama should be on the same ticket, Clinton said: 'That may be where this is headed, but of course we have to decide who is on the top of ticket. I think the people of Ohio very clearly said that it should be me.'

I wake up, run some errands and flip on the radio. The vipers of liberal talk radio are going crazy ape bonkers over this. OMG! McCain is on easy street. OMG! Clinton and Obama are still fighting. OMG! There is the possibility of a unity ticket. OMG! I left my hybrid double parked across two handicap stall while getting my latte. OMG! The Democrats are going to lose again and I'll have to run back to suburbia crying. Seriously freaking out.

Let me give you a little outside perspective. If politicians were team players they would never get elected. Some jackass will always come along and convince the team player to drop out for the good of the team. They play to win. Yes, if the Democrats were serious about winning the election this year they would have gotten these two into a dark room a few weeks ago, hammered things out, made decisions for them, and emerged with Hillarack! The unstoppable beast. It still might happen.

Which brings me to my second point. Why are Democrats so seriously divided over these two candidates? I've been trying to figure out what the difference is between them. Their platforms are nearly identical with some small bickering over technicalities. Yet there are people who would gladly let Obama use their face as toilet paper but they wouldn't piss on Clinton if she were on fire. Though if she wasn't on fire they almost certainly would piss on her. It's like two huge armies surging against each other for no good reason when what they should really do is kill their masters* and peaceably go home.

I'm still in the race and still vowing an end to as much government as I can get my hands on. I'm not afraid of the Hillarack!

*It's just a metaphor. Do not go out and physically kill a politician. Just kill their careers by refusing to accept their authority. I don't need to become part of the over 1% of adults currently incarcerated in this country.

Get To Know Jake

Q: What is next to your bed?

A: Three bottles of lotion, a copy of Grimm's Fairy Tales, a pack of batteries, and a set of ear plugs.