Custom

Taking my first day of vacation to revamp the campaign blog. It is time for the 2012 look. Simpler, cleaner, easier to read. Added a separate player further down the side column for the Black Whole Son audio book. Curl up by the fire and listen to all 5 hours in one sitting. You've done worse things to waste your life away.

Keep on fisting.

Benny, Me, and Homosexualtiy

I agree with Pope Benedict which is why I disagree with him. Since we are both Popes, the conflict was inevitable.

Pope urges defence of heterosexuality

Speaking in a holiday address to the Curia, the Vatican's central administration, Benedict said yesterday the church viewed the distinction between men and women as central to human nature, and 'asks that this order, set down by creation, be respected'.

The church, he said, 'should protect man from the destruction of himself. A sort of ecology of man was needed, he said,' adding: 'The tropical forests do deserve our protection; but man, as a creature, does not deserve any less.'

Benedict focused his attack on what he described as 'gender' theories, 'which lead towards the definitive emancipation of man from creation and the creator'.

I agree with Benny that the environment could do with a little protection. Sometimes in order to protect an ecology, you have to do a little thinning of the herd. What better way to thin out the environmentally destructive human race than to encourage homosexuality? So I also disagree with him.

And I agree that research into the root causes of gender identity, gender theories, gender selection, or whatever other scientific research into gender he might have been talking about could lead to the emancipation of man from the creator. Scientific exploration that liberates us from captivity by superstitions is a good thing. I don't think Benny agrees with me on that.

Both Benny and I are popes and entitled to our own comprehensions of the world.

Spectacles, Testicles, Brandy, Cigar, and now you, dear reader, are a Pope as well. As such you are as entitled to your own world view as Benny is to his.

What Would Jello Do?

Jello Biafra believes in democracy. If I were the sort of person who thought that representative democracy could not only be saved but was worth saving, I'd probably agree with most of what he has to say in...

Jello Biafra - Open Letter to Barack Obama

As important as it is to find common ground and build consensus for change, our situation is so dire we cannot afford any more dealmakers. The people voted for a leader. Anything less risks breaking the hearts of an entire galvanized generation who may then decide it is not worth it to get involved and participate any more.
(emphasis mine)

I do not agree with some of the ideas he espouses and I do not share his fondness for democracy and elections. He had very interesting and novel solutions, which is something I do like about him.

And the last sentence of the above quote, I agree with that 100%. Difference being, I believe with a fair level of certainty that governments are incapable of doing anything but break people's hearts (and backs, and budgets, and fingers, and skulls, etc). Especially given enough time. Like an entire afternoon.

Still, I think my readers will find that the former lead singer of the Dead Kennedys has a much saner voice than my own. I don't care much for sanity.

NSFW: Requiem for a Goddess

Obituary.

Bettie Page, the 1950s secretary-turned-model whose controversial photographs in skimpy attire or none at all helped set the stage for the 1960s sexual revolution, died Thursday. She was 85.

More so than Marilyn Monroe or Jane Mansfield, Bettie Page was a goddess. Her image will transcend the ages. Her form will forever stand as a testament to human beauty regardless of what is currently in fashion. In her death, she will live forever.

Jake on Prop 8

This year's elections may be over and (most) races already decided, but that doesn't stop me. There is an issue out there that seems to be confusing people. It is only confusing because people are dead set on ignoring the First Amendment. What is that one again?

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.

Separation of Church and State! This whole business concerning the legality of gay marriages is quite simple once you get religion out of the picture.

Churches are free to do as they please concerning marriage. If a given church wishes to restrict marriage to one man and one woman it is their prerogative to do so. If sects like the Mormons and Islam want to allow men to have more than one wife, no problem.

So what business does government have in affairs of matrimony? Business, indeed. A legal marriage is a merger between individuals that gives the power to make decisions concerning the shared assets of those involved in the merger. They also share in the liabilities. If the merger ends prematurely (before 'death do us part') it is a court of law, not a religious authority, that oversees the disbursement of assets and liabilities.

From a legal vantage point that assumes the First Amendment says exactly what it says and that Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, a legal marriage is a business contract for households. The business of running the household is conducted as a joint venture following agreed upon guidelines such as any laid out in a prenup.

Since it is a specialized business contract, the number and gender of the parties is irrelevant. To declare otherwise is contrary to laws guaranteeing that government agencies can not discriminate based on gender (among many other wonderful things). If two men wish to merge households the government is not granted the power to deny them a contract. If three women desire to merge households the same is true. If three women and two men wanted to form a merger I see no reason why it should be denied.

If two men, three women and a goat wished to marry, it would be denied because the goat is not a legal citizen with protected rights. That is where we need to be focusing our energy.

Equal Rights for Goats!

I did not run this by my lawyer prior to posting so I could be wrong. When elected you'll find out just how right I was.

Trust

Citing the overwhelming success of United States currency since the decision to print the words "In God We Trust" on it, the Department of Homeland Security has decided to expand that trust to national defense.

Anti-terror law requires God be acknowledged

Specifically, Homeland Security is ordered to publicize God's benevolent protection in its reports, and it must post a plaque at the entrance to the state Emergency Operations Center with an 88-word statement that begins, 'The safety and security of the Commonwealth cannot be achieved apart from reliance upon Almighty God.'

Don't panic. Unless you live in Kentucky because that is where the law is in effect. So if you live in Kentucky, go ahead and panic. If you live elsewhere, just worry a lot.

If this were China and our predominant religion were Budhism, I could at least fathom placing the job of Homeland security in the hands of temples full of monks trained in Kung Fu and Tai Chi. American churches are best known for their sex scandals. Unless Kentucky plans on being attacked by a group of nude little boys I don't see how God, or at least his representatives here on Earth, is going to help them much.

Black Whole Son Continues

So the book is longer than anticipated. I shall continue reading until it is done.

I ran into a snag yesterday. Apparently the recording software I'm using has a limit of about 33 minutes. It can't record past that. So I saved the last part of the chapter from yesterday to record as a separate chapter today. Another six minutes. Guess I got on a roll when I was writing that one. Good thing I had a fairly natural breaking point to divide it up.

For both of my listeners out there, you may have noticed a slight schedule change to the podcast. While on graveyard I would podcast after work and you would have a new episode by noon. Working swing I would record before work and usually have it up by 1PM. Switching to days the best time to record is after work. It has now become an evening podcast. And often times my wife is home while I am recording. This makes me a little self conscious. Hopefully it doesn't spoil the work at all.

PSA: Contraception

I thought people knew this, but apparently not everyone does. Let's go over this so as to make it nice and sparkling clear.

Pulling out is NOT contraception.

Sorry, big word there for anyone who might think pulling out actually is contraception. Let's try that again.

Pulling out is NOT birth control.

She can still get pregnant even if you are an expert at pulling out. It isn't even a little effective. Yes, I've read the statistics that say otherwise and am choosing to ignore them. I don't care if they say it can be up to 96% effective. Do you know what the prereqs for that number are? It means you can't have ejaculated in the last 24 hours or else you'll have a bunch of sperm in your pre-ejaculate. Can you go that long without masturbating? Really?!

It also means you can only fuck once every 24 hours. Can you live with that kind of restriction? Really?!

Pulling out is NOT birth control. It is great for porn stars, anal, and creaming some gal's tits so you can watch her girlfriend lick it all up, but not as contraception.

Got that? Want to see it one more time?

Pulling out is NOT contraception.

Will the Fetus be Aborted?

The election may be over, but I am still dedicated to the core values of my campaign. And nothing was more core nor set me apart from the competition quite like my stance on abortion.

So when a friend told me she was considering getting one, I was honest. It started with me telling her that she was talking to the one person who was actually pro-abortion. Next, I encouraged her by telling her about armadillos.

While armadillos are not unique in the animal kingdom for having this ability, they do make a great case study. Some species can prolong how long before the egg attaches to the uterine wall. Very important for any species facing tough times ahead. It can also abort if conditions are not right.

Humans use their intelligence to make them the reproductive equals of the armadillo.

And thanks to her I got a song stuck in my head.

Thanks for the Holiday Bonus

Are you happy right now? Feeling a bit of that holiday spirit? Want to see it all disappear in a fit of rage?

AIG Pulls Fast One -- "Cash Awards" Going To Managers

American International Group Inc., the insurer that said yesterday it scrapped bonuses for top executives after a U.S. bailout, will still pay 130 managers 'cash awards' to stay with the firm, including $3 million to retirement services chief Jay Wintrob.


Wintrob, 51, will get the 'retention' payment in two installments, the first in April 2009 and the rest a year later, New York-based AIG said today in a regulatory filing. The firm previously disclosed the program in a Sept. 26 filing and said today that Wintrob and Chief Financial Officer David Herzog elected to get the payments four months later than planned.

Aw, the pig fuckers don't get a holiday bonus. The one ham slammer has to wait until April for the first installment and a year before he gets the full $3 million.

If I knew that in one year's time I had $3 mil coming my way, I think I'd feel okay 'floating' a few holiday gifts to friends. Instead I feel like somebody did that thing in the above illustration and they went through the bother of keeping it in the freezer for a couple of days.