Caught Fucking a Pig

Yes, the pig fuckers are still in control. Luckily they don't always get away with the wholesale rape of the swine.

Lies and Audiotape: Morgan Chase Exec Brags Bailout Is for Takeovers, Restructuring, Not Lending

Twenty-five billion dollars is obviously going to help the folks who are struggling more than Chase. What we do think it will help us do, is perhaps be a little bit more active on the acquisition side, or opportunistic side, for some banks who are still struggling. And I would not assume that we are done on the acquisition side, just because of the Washington Mutual and Bear Stearns mergers. I think there are going to be some great opportunities for us to grow in this environment, and I think we have an opportunity to use that $25 billion in that way. And obviously depending on whether recession turns into depression or what happens in the future, you know, we have that as a backstop.

Your tax dollars hard at work.

This Cycle

I saw a Ralph Nader sign in the neighborhood the other day. Remember that guy? His chances peaked in 2000. It was a hell of a good race. He did so well that many Democrats tried to blame him for Bush getting into office. Partially true, I guess. His campaign wasn't quite good enough to win. He wasn't able to inspire enough people to defect. Which resulted in a major backlash. But instead of people returning in droves to the parties of the two lying bastards, they just locked themselves in their homes. Of course now Nader truly is irrelevant. In 2000 there were Nader sign everywhere and people were filling stadiums to attend Nader rallies. Now there is one sign in my neighborhood and I think I saw a YouTube clip at some point.

The Libertarian Party got screwed by Ron Paul. People of that bent got behind the Texas Republican and kind of wandered off aimlessly like a havering Irishman looking for midnight mass in Dubuque.

McCain threw the race. Like a prize fighter, he had to make it look good, put on the show. He grabbed the GOP nomination and then took a dive. He'll stay up nights watching On the Waterfront and sobbing uncontrollably every time Marlon Brando says, "I coulda been a contenda."

Palin's career is now as doomed as Geraldine Ferraro's. Remember Fritz and Tits? I don't remember hearing a thing about her until this year when she pretended to be a racist so Hillary Clinton wouldn't have to. So how long will her preggers daughter and that redneck hockey jock stay together once there is no White House stint? So Sarah can just go back to being a den mother for her litter. She can dedicate her time to personally building up Alaska's own separatist militia.

Obama still scares the shit out of me. Yes, he's the lesser of two evils. But when you're talking about 98% evil versus 93% evil, that's still a hell of a lot of evil going on. He is a sweet talker and his campaign is freakishly reminiscent of Reagan's. Not as far as platform but in style. He is your friend, your best buddy, he is listening to what you are saying and wants to assure you that he is on your side. He has also received more campaign contributions than any other Presidential candidate in history. Don't think for a moment that there aren't some favors owed. He is a politician and knows how the game is played. Candidate of change! I suppose if you change one thing out of a thousand it is still more change than four more years of the same old crap. Hurray for change! The only real positive I see is that he is black. The fact that his ethnicity played any kind of role in this race is proof of just how backwards we are as a nation. I approve of his winning as a step towards getting over the stupid bullshit melanin obsession.

But what really gets me are all these folks trying to tell me what a wonderful, electrifying election year it has been. People breaking through gender and ethnic barriers left and right. I've experienced this as one of the nastiest campaigns so far in my short history. Convention cities setting up full fledged detention camps for protesters. People getting in fist fights over who they support. Party members showing total disrespect for the democratic system they proclaim to love by weeping when a black receives the nomination over a woman. Media black outs of people like Ron Paul. A pro-life Christian moralist with a pregnant teenage daughter. Constant accusations of connections to Islam. Everyone denying our conversion to socialism as they 'interrupt' their campaigns to make it happen. Tabloid gossip political coverage.

The United States is done for. Our political process is a circus full of clowns on fire. The water buckets are filled with kerosene. Watch as they burn and flail for our amusement. And we get to go down in flames right along with them.

Happy voting, citizens.

News With Interest

The Fed has continually cut interest rates in an attempt to stabilize the economy. All that rate cutting lead to more lending and a further destabilized economy. What would be the logical next move?

NPR

The Federal Reserve is expected to cut interest rates Wednesday by at least a half-percentage point to 1 percent. Economists believe the Fed will cut rates because of the current financial turmoil and fears that there might be a prolonged recession...

'And the markets are expecting they'll keep going and cut them further, perhaps' to 0.5 percent, by year's end,

I've got a better idea. I've said it before and I'll say it again. Let's get rid of the Federal Reserve.

And then we can put a ban on lending at interest. When I lend a pal $10, I expect to get $10 back in a reasonable amount of time. I don't expect or want him to pay me $20 back over ten years. I give him the ten spot and say, "I know you're good for it." If I'm wrong, I never lend him money again. I've lent money to countless numbers of people this way and only ever cut off one person.

Too simple?

Blah, Blah , Blah

I missed all the debates, but now I feel like I only missed one of them!

Thanks for sharing, BDJ.

NaNoWriMo

Once again I shall be participating in National Novel Writing Month. It means less blogging for a month. But I will still be podcasting. November will be me reading from my book, Black Whole Son.

New material and free audio book. Lucky you.

Choices

It's coming down to the wire. People want to know, "No. Really Jake. Who would you vote for between Obama and McCain?" They insist there is a very real difference between these two and I need to pick one

What a fantastically relevant question. Here is another fantastically relevant question for you people asking. Who would you rather have molesting your child, the effeminate Catholic Priest or the dirty, hairy biker? You have to admit there are very real differences between the two.

Which would you rather walk across, hot coals or broken glass? Not the same thing at all.

Drowning or lynching?

Okay, that's all a little grim. Maybe you don't see the choices with so much gloom and doom. So would you rather have Coke or Pepsi? No, RC is not an option! Neither is water.

McDonalds or Burger King? Wendys, Arbys, White Castle and all the rest are really irrelevant. Choose one of the two big ones.

Miller or Bud?

WalMart or Target?

Chevy or Ford?

Football or Baseball?

Obama or McCain?

Choose your representative identity!

Pull My Strings

Sinfest: The Webcomic To End all Webcomics

Bad Bumper Sticker

Spotted on the road to work.

Abortion Causes
Breast Cancer

Just in case you didn't know, it doesn't.

Giving birth to a baby does cause breast parasites.

Let Them Know!

Yesterday a pollster stopped by the house wearing an Obama/Biden button. When asked if we were going to be voting for Obama or McCain in the coming election, I told her this was a Jake household and offered her a button.

She declined.

24 Years Later

Sinfest: The Webcomic To End all Webcomics

AWPC: Abortion

I'm still committed to my pro-abortion stance. So we were talking about a co-worker...

Him: Personally I think any father who isn't involved with his kids is a bad father.

Jake: Yeah but in (his) case it is probably a good thing. I'd say, "Sorry kid. Your dad is an idiot and a dead beat and your mom was dumb enough to fuck him. You should have been aborted. Just be thankful that your dad isn't in your life to fuck you up even more."

Him: (laughing) You should have been aborted. You're probably right.

Jake: Hey. I make no bones about my pro-abortion stance.

Bugged?

Is this punishment for titling a podcast "Vote for McCain"? I've added two episodes since then and neither one is feeding. Goddamned Republican conspiracies.

I Approve This Message

Sinfest: The Webcomic To End all Webcomics

Voter Abstinence

It's supposed to be funny.



"Remember, when you vote for a candidate, you are actually voting for every stance they've ever held."

Michael Savage is a Rapist

From NoSavage.org

Shock jock Michael Savage is a bully. He derides, demeans, and distorts those who don't agree with his hate-filled, right-wing agenda, and when that fails, he files lawsuits. Now, Savage has tried to silence Brave New Films -- this bully has pushed us too far.

Here's what happened: Last Thursday night, YouTube removed over 300 of our videos from their site and disabled our account, including our highly popular Real McCain and FOX Attacks series. They didn't restore the account until Friday afternoon. We were furious to discover that our entire account was disabled over one unjust copyright complaint from Michael Savage and the Original Talk Radio Network, Inc., regarding a video we made eight months ago titled "Michael Savage Hates Muslims" -- a video that fell well within the terms of fair use of the material.

Here's what we're doing: On Friday, Brave New Films filed a lawsuit against Savage for his effort to suppress and silence us. Thanks to help from the Stanford Law School's Fair Use Project, we will take the fight right back to Savage and the Original Talk Radio Network, Inc.

Here's how free speech works; people can say whatever the hell they want and if you don't agree, then don't listen to it.

Michael Savage date rapes the First Amendment. He takes full liberties with it and then beats it up and locks it in the basement when it does something he doesn't approve of. That's right...

Michael Savage is a Rapist!

Comic Truth

Sinfest has been really hitting it dead on lately. I'll have to find some cabinet post for Tatsuya Ishida.

The Senator has Reported Every Gift He has Ever Received

Norm Coleman's lackey, Cullen Sheehan, needs to take some acting lessons. Learn how to adlib. You can say the same thing over and over as many times as you like as long as every time you say it sounds a little different. But in this press conference he says the same phrase, "The Senator has Reported Every Gift He has Ever Received," nine times!



For the record, I post this mostly because I hate Norm Coleman. It is my goal to become a minion of Satan just so that I can be put in charge of Coleman's torture in hell. Actually I want some oversight on the torture of politicians in general, as many Republicans as possible, and specifically Norm Coleman and Ronald Reagan. Bush has no soul.

AWPC

While having lunch at work with a table of middle-age coworkers I received another glowing endorsement.

Woman: I bet Jake could bring down this government at least as fast as these other two clowns.

USA Still #1!

Yesterday in an unusual Columbus Day event, citizens celebrated the fact that despite all of our economic troubles, wire tapping, warrant-less surveillance, an Army unit stationed domestically, elections decided by courts instead of the people, and a national debt currently estimated at $10 trillion (just to name a few things actually known about), we are still the freest nation inside the United States of America.

And no one can ever take that away from us.

Mavericks!

A certain pair of Presidential hopefuls keeps trying to brand themselves as mavericks. I believe I have discovered what they really mean when they say that and yes, it is an apt metaphor.

What kind of Mavericks are they?

May Your Fears Consume You

The United States feared Communism and now is becoming everything we hated and feared about the old Soviet Union.

The United States feared Islamic extremists and now is embodying everything we hated and feared about the Taleban.

The United States feared all these Mexican immigrants illegally crossing the border and now is developing into the kind of nation Mexico used to be... only without enough hot latino food or hot latina babes.

Has anyone considered being deathly afraid of affluence?

GD2

My grandpa always told me the best stories about the depression. He was full of them, too. We'd be sitting around the kitchen table playing dominoes and I'd hear the same ones several times but then he'd throw a new one my way. I'm sure he had more in him that went with him from this world.

There were stories of having to forgo sleeping in an abandoned warehouse for fear that the giant, hungry rats would decide to have a go at the living. Sympathetic rail yard workers who would tell them which trains to catch and which ones to avoid. Pissing in half a tin of chewing tobacco just so everyone would stop asking for a pinch. Amazing stories of survival and a few of tragic death.

I don't fear another Great Depression. Remember the glory years of the Clinton administration and how everyone felt like they were getting rich? My grandpa said those years were even worse than the Great Depression. I can only imagine what he'd think of our current situation.

Maybe I don't fear because I don't have that far to fall. Sure, I've got plenty to lose. I just don't have nearly as much to lose as most Americans. Kick me out on the street and I've got a tent. Take my tent and I've got a tarp. I can wash dishes, walk beans, detassle corn, build stuff from wood and metal, brew beer, grow vegetables, kill small animals, and take a punch. I've got everything I need to survive another Great Depression.

And never forget my great uncle's secret to long life and happiness. He was also a survivor of the Great Depression who lost a fortune by virtue of having it in a bank. He lived to be a smiling 105 so I think the man knew a little something about long life and happiness. His secret for good times and bad?

Whiskey all night and polka 'til dawn!