Holiday In Cambodia Pakistan

I shouldn't laugh when I read stuff like this.

George Bush secret order to send special forces into Pakistan

A secret order issued by George Bush giving US special forces carte blanche to mount counter-terrorist operations inside Pakistani territory raised fears last night that escalating conflict was spreading from Afghanistan to Pakistan and could ignite a region-wide war.

I nearly fell off my chair laughing. Actually it was the balance ball so it is fairly easy to fall off of. Still, I was laughing and saying out loud, "It's not like Vietnam how?"

In Robert Heinlein's Stranger in a Strange Land the hero, Michael Valentine, one day is visiting a zoo when he finally groks people.

They laugh because it hurts...because it's the only thing that'll make it stop hurting.

Bristol Palin

Is it just me, or does the pregnant teen daughter of Sarah Palin, Bristol (right), look exactly like the kind of gal you would expect to be a pregnant teen? One look at that face and I can imagine her makeup running down her rosy cheeks, hunched over and sobbing uncontrollably, her hair a clumping mess as she has to tell her enraged parents that she got knocked up.

Bristol, you would be my personal hero forever if you got an abortion, told your fiance to fuck off, and started stripping once you turned 18. Don't be a pawn in your mom's games. Take control of your destiny. Do it and I will boot my current veep choice and add you to the Jake ticket for 2012 so you can tell your mom, "Yeah, I ran for the nation's second highest office, too!". Consider it.

Sarah Palin: Great White Hunter

Wolves are good hunters. Too good for some people. They kill all of that wonderful trophy moose in Alaska preventing tourist hunters from having a crack at them. The solution?

Sarah Palin, predator control, shooting wolves | Salon

Wildlife activists thought they had seen the worst in 2003 when Frank Murkowski, then the Republican governor of Alaska, signed a bill ramping up state programs to gun down wild wolves from airplanes, inviting average citizens to participate. Wolves, Murkowski believed, were clearly better than humans at killing elk and moose, and humans needed to even the playing field.

But that was before Sarah Palin took Murkowski's job at the end of 2006. She went one step, or paw, further. Palin didn't think Alaskans should be allowed to chase wolves from aircraft and shoot them -- they should be encouraged to do so. Palin's administration put a bounty on wolves' heads, or to be more precise, on their mitts.

In early 2007, Palin's administration approved an initiative to pay a $150 bounty to hunters who killed a wolf from an airplane in certain areas, hacked off the left foreleg, and brought in the appendage.

I would be all for this if instead of shooting the wolves, people had to jump out of low flying aircraft with a knife clasped in their teeth onto a wolf, wrestle it to the ground, and hack off the limb of the still fighting beast. And they must do it while wearing a loin cloth. Anyone who managed to do that would have earned the bounty. I would personally pay the bounty to see Palin do it. Double if her pregnant daughter does it.

But to be fair, if you owned an airplane would you really want to put yourself at risk by shooting wolves from the ground? What if you miss?

I'm Huge on the Internet

Since there are many people who will never read comments...

Jake hits the big time!

Thanks to Clusterlizard for making this happen.

Palin Meme

The Michael Palin meme spread pretty fast. To be expected.

Non-Smokers

Non-smoking kills.

Reuters

Former British heavyweight boxing champion James Oyebola was shot in the neck in a nightclub after asking a group of men to stop smoking.

He died in just four days from his non-smoking related injuries. Smoking related deaths take years.

McCain Picks Palin

Since I was on vacation I couldn't immediately comment on McCain's Veep pick. Upon hearing that he picked Palin, it became apparent that he was of sound mind and was in this thing to win. He picked someone that even I can support.

Dem Veep Revealed

The candidate of change is at it again. This time he has announced his running mate and shocked the world with his choice.

Did he choose a woman? How about a Latino or Native American? Or maybe someone who has worked outside the system to bring about changes?

How about a gray haired white dude? Yep, Senator Joe Biden. How revolutionary! What better way to cause change than to select a running mate who matches the gender and ethnicity of every President and Vice President in the 230+ year life of this nation. What better choice than a former lawyer with a plastic smile who has followed in the footsteps of Strom Thurmond and Jesse Helms.

Ah, but he's Catholic. We've only had one of those before. And that ended well...

Drug Testing

For the record, I am 100% against employment drug testing. I am against pre-employment drug testing as a condition of hire. I am against scheduled drug testing such as is used for many people who operate heavy machinery or drive a company vehicle. I am against random drug testing in the work place. I am against post-accident drug testing.

However, I have no sympathy for a person who loses their job as a result of work place drug testing. I don't care if it was a random, scheduled, or accident related drug test. You know the conditions of your employment. You took a gamble and used substances that could show up as a positive. You failed a drug test and lost your job. If your job was so important to you the situation could have been avoided.

If it was a false positive, get a lawyer and sue for wrongful termination. There is a lot of case history and research to back you up.

Sleepwalker McCain

For the record...

I do not endorse Obama for President.

There is a line in the video that gets repeated saying, "We're all gonna die if McCain gets elected." I do not agree with this statement.

With that said, I am just as welcoming of a President who chooses to pop a bunch of mind altering pills as I am of one who smokes a little grass. Hell, they can do both for all I care.

Thanks Jeremy

This thing plays out like an advertisement for Syndicalist Anarchism. I don't think it was meant to.



What do you want? Information. You won't get it! By hook or by crook...

Proxy Wars

Proxy Wars were very popular during the Cold War days. By popular, I mean that the United States and Soviet Union favored them as a means to divide up the globe between the capitalists and the communists. For most of the people in the countries where these things were fought, the proxy wars weren't very popular at all.

But the United States and Russia are still at it, fighting proxy wars. This latest conflict between Russia and Georgia has an element that caught my attention.

Did the U.S. Prep Georgia for War with Russia?

Since early 2002, the U.S. government has given a healthy amount of military aid to Georgia. When I last visited South Ossetia, Georgian troops manned a checkpoint outside Tskhinvali -- decked out in surplus U.S. Army uniforms and new body armor.

Emphasis mine. New body armor. From the United States. This was shortly before we were hearing the horror stories of our own troops not having body armor in Afghanistan and Iraq. The Pentagon short-changed their own soldiers in the name of a proxy war against the old Bear.

Do you have any idea how many yellow ribbons it takes to do the job of one small piece of body armor? Our soldiers got screwed.

Retarded

Message to the Special Olympics:

You are retarded!

Your athletes are retarded.

Your events are retarded.

Protesters gather at Stiller film

Tim Shriver, chairman of disability group Special Olympics, said protestors were particularly offended by the use of the word 'retard' regarding a character, Simple Jack, played by Stiller

'We feel that the use of the word 'retard' throughout the film, 15 or more times, is done without any regard for the dignity of people with intellectual disabilities,' he said.

The word retarded refers to something that is slower than it should be or slower than normal. It was used as a simple technical term long before it became associated with people with mental disabilities who are, very technically speaking, retarded. I use it nearly every day when fixing machines. The timing is retarded. That cam is retarded. The MPD response time needs to be retarded. That operator is retarded.

The organization known as the Special Olympics is retarded for not being up to snuff on the meaning of a term they object to.

Their athletes are retarded because no Special Olympian comes close to even the worst performances among regular Olympians.

Their events are retarded because they have to slow down the pace of things to cater to the people involved.

Based on trailers I've seen, the film they are protesting looks mildly retarded.

And I'm retarded for taking way too freakin' long to explain the meaning of the term retarded to a bunch of retarded people who probably won't even see this retarded post.

Abortions for All!

Yes! A chance to talk about one of my favorite topics. Why, just yesterday I was talking with my parents about abortion and now I get to take an opportunity to talk about it some more.

My fellow Americans, now more than ever I am in support of abortion.

Millions Who Had Abortions Don't Know It

The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services has drafted a rule that would call it abortion when a contraceptive prevents a fertilized egg from embedding itself in the uterine wall.

All you gals on the pill are having abortions. All you women with IUDs are having abortions. It is a great time to be alive if you are one of the lucky few who didn't get aborted.

Never mind the medical definition that states the zygote has to actually attach to the uterine wall before it can be considered a pregnancy. Like the hard core religious fundamentalist right-to-lifers I also do not trust doctors. None of them will give me the good meds when I'm in pain. FYI Doc: I pop maybe two pills a year! If I come to you in pain seeking a little comfort, it is because if anyone else felt the way I did they would think they were dieing so just give me the freakin' prescription! Now, where was I?

Under a broad definition of the new rule, my vasectomy prevents zygotes from attaching to uterine walls by preventing eggs from getting fertilized. I am a walking, talking abortion clinic! Awesome.

Some folks are troubled by this new rule. They say it will be used to deny women access to contraception. Which in the short term it might. I am in favor of it in as much as I am in favor of abortions. I also think this is exactly the kind of theocratic bullshit that pushes the issue over the top. If you call contraception abortion, suddenly abortion doesn't seem so frightening. Psychologically it makes the pro-life arguments impotent. It aborts them.

I Met the Walrus

Enjoyable. Great laugh at about 4:18. Peace.

Pop Goes the Weasels

McCain and Obama have revealed some of their pop culture picks in a recent article. Turns out I have something in common with John McCain.

Obama, McCain reveal pop culture favorites

In the world of music, McCain revealed a weakness for the Swedish disco-era band ABBA, late singer Roy Orbison and 1970s star Linda Ronstadt.

I could do without Linda. Obama listed Frank Sinatra, Bob Dylan, Sheryl Crow and John Coltrane. I like Sinatra and Dylan, but when put in a tops list with Crow and Coltrane, let it be said I will never attend a party at the Obama household.

And is is just me or does the article seem to be deliberately playing to the McCain camp?

To answer some of the same questions put to the other candidates (since nobody bothered to ask me):

• Favorite Super-hero: I grew up liking Captain Atom. I also like Rorschach.
• Favorite Musical Acts: Bands that almost never get flipped past during random rotation include Tool, Flogging Molly, Gogol Bordello, Joe Strummer and ABBA.
• Television Shows: Simpsons, South Park, Doctor Who, Monty Python, Venture Brothers and The Prisoner
• Last Movie Seen in a Theater: WALL-E
• Favorite Actor in the Role of President: Jack Nicholson in Mars Attacks and Ronald Lacey in The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension
• First Movie Memory: Star Wars with that fabulous scrolling opening text and powerful music followed by the little ship being pursued by the big ship. That's politics for you.

Fucking Paris Hilton

That is meant as a general expletive and not to indicate any kind of activity.

A majority of the blogs to which I subscribe have now mentioned the Paris Hilton for President video. Some friends I've got. Traitors!



Need I remind you all that Paris Hilton is not old enough to run for President? In other words it is just a joke. She is not a serious candidate with serious intentions of running nor could she legally take office even if she ran a successful write in campaign.

So get your ass back in the Jake camp and worship at the feet of your future lord and master elected representative!

Drugs Rule!

Last night at work I was wondering about a co-worker who always wears a Grateful Dead necklace. How the hell does I guy like that get hired in a place with random drug testing? Because, I reasoned, nobody can stand listening to that shit unless they're high. One would think that Grateful Dead paraphernalia would count as an automatic drug test fail with no urine sample needed. (Not that I endorse such discrimination. Just saying...)

Synchronicity of synchronicities, what should I find in my news box today but this!

The 5 Greatest Things Ever Accomplished While High

Any dreadlocked white guys finding this article after Googling 'Drugs Rule' should know that we've given this list about drugs a rule. To make the cut, an accomplishment has to be considered great by people who could pass a field sobriety test. So no Grateful Dead music. We're sure someone somewhere has enjoyed the Dead perfectly sober, just as there are probably non-Christians who listen to Christian Rock. But we're just as sure that in the grand scheme of things, those people don't count.

I'm glad I'm not alone on this one.

The list is good, too. It includes 2 acid heads, 2 coke fiends, a shroomer, and this gem...

There's plenty of controversy surrounding certain parts of the Bible, (where are the dinosaurs?), but most can agree that the Ten Commandments make some good points: killing is wrong, stealing is wrong, and weekends are for sleeping.

Space Power!

Harvesting solar power in space and beaming it back to Earth to fuel our energy needs? I'm for it. Somebody has to build and service those panels out there in space. Space is where I want to be. If I have to build solar panels to get there, then I will build the best damn solar panels anyone has ever laid eyes on.

I turned off the sound because I had Tool playing and it beat the hell out of the included music.

Abolish Money

I'm certain of this now. Money has caused so much trouble, we just need to abolish it. It's just a symbol anyway. Get rid of it.

But with what shall we replace it?

Nothing.

Ack! I can't handle that!

Fine. I'm sure we could come up with something. Replace it with the calorie. A person is worth the energy they expend doing things. So a steel worker is worth more than an investment banker. The garbage man is worth more than a lawyer. Intelligence is its own reward.

I still say we don't need to replace money with anything. But the important thing is to BAN MONEY NOW!