Friday, January 06, 2006
The times they are a-changin'
Can someone please explain to me the differences between an insurgent, a rebel, a subversive, and a revolutionary? Because just about everyone I know considers themselves at least one of the last three.
Thursday, January 05, 2006
Jesus: Legacy or Legend?
Italian Court to Decide Whether Jesus Lived
Atheist accuses priest of conning the public with story of Christ.
And how would such a trial begin? "Do you promise to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help you GOD?"
Atheist accuses priest of conning the public with story of Christ.
And how would such a trial begin? "Do you promise to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help you GOD?"
Tools
I've got several tools here at home that I want to take into work. I've held off on doing this until I've got a tool box at work to put them in. Right now I've got an old drawer I share with another guy.
But in just two days of work I could have used over half of what I've got waiting. Instead I had to raid other people's tool boxes for the stuff I've needed. Thank goodness for people who don't lock their chests.
But in just two days of work I could have used over half of what I've got waiting. Instead I had to raid other people's tool boxes for the stuff I've needed. Thank goodness for people who don't lock their chests.
Wednesday, January 04, 2006
Tools
As I expand my tool supply for work, I have discovered the need for a work tool box. The el-cheapo models from Craftsman meant for home use and unable to withstand the rigors of factory life still cost $75 and up. If you want the nice, solid professional strength models they want you to spend $200 and up. Move over to higher end box manufacturers like Kennedy and the price just keeps jumping.
To get an affordable tool box I chose to 'think outside the box' as they say. My new tool box is on the way. It costs $15 plus $23 for shipping. It sports a fully customizable 25x13x7 interior, sealing lid, and solid construction meant to withstand a battlefield. Larger and sturdier than what most of the guys have at a fifth of the price.
To get an affordable tool box I chose to 'think outside the box' as they say. My new tool box is on the way. It costs $15 plus $23 for shipping. It sports a fully customizable 25x13x7 interior, sealing lid, and solid construction meant to withstand a battlefield. Larger and sturdier than what most of the guys have at a fifth of the price.
The Cause of and Solution to All of Life's Problems!
All those loaves and fishes when they really needed some wine.
The Curse
Upon returning to work we found posted on the bulletin board the daily minimum footage for 2006 per machine. The numbers made me laugh. When I ran those machines and constantly outperformed all of the other grinder operators, I would have made their new MINIMUM footage requirements 15-20% of the time. I considered those my good days.
Under the new minimums the management scrawled the words, "No Exceptions!" What tact. What grace. A management model that has proven effective and desirable throughout history, especially in cultures that approved of slavery. I kept picturing Veruca Salt in that menacing pre-tantrum tension.
The result of such efforts around the plant seem so predictable. Production nose-dived. Machines broke good and hard instead of the more usual quick fix problems. On top of that the leads, under heavy 'threats' from management, try to run all the machines through breaks using maintenance to cover machines. Hmm, ten hour day, an hour worth of breaks, and an hour covering someone else's breaks. So if we always have enough problems to keep us busy when we normally spend 9 hours fixing machines, how much compounding of problems occurs when we can only spend 8 hours doing our job?
All of this only really hits the new folks at work. Anyone who has been around that place for at least a year knows the skinny. Just smile and do your job the way you always have. No pony for the princess.
Under the new minimums the management scrawled the words, "No Exceptions!" What tact. What grace. A management model that has proven effective and desirable throughout history, especially in cultures that approved of slavery. I kept picturing Veruca Salt in that menacing pre-tantrum tension.
The result of such efforts around the plant seem so predictable. Production nose-dived. Machines broke good and hard instead of the more usual quick fix problems. On top of that the leads, under heavy 'threats' from management, try to run all the machines through breaks using maintenance to cover machines. Hmm, ten hour day, an hour worth of breaks, and an hour covering someone else's breaks. So if we always have enough problems to keep us busy when we normally spend 9 hours fixing machines, how much compounding of problems occurs when we can only spend 8 hours doing our job?
All of this only really hits the new folks at work. Anyone who has been around that place for at least a year knows the skinny. Just smile and do your job the way you always have. No pony for the princess.
It's Great to be Me
In less than a week I'll be married to a hot college freshman. I feel an odd kinship with Wooderson.
Tuesday, January 03, 2006
Give Me the Code!
My love and I spent several hours trying to redo her blog so she could have three columns. We thought we finally got it and she went to bed satisfied.
I rechecked it and found that it had some major issues with clicking on links and comments within the blog body. I then proceeded to spend about three more hours fixing it. The end result? I got it to do what she wanted it to do in the first place. Success!
If I had tried to do something similar for myself I would have dinked around for an hour, decided that much work wasn't worth it, and reverted to the old site. But love does strange things to the head.
Go and check out the new and improved Wicked Wanderings!
I rechecked it and found that it had some major issues with clicking on links and comments within the blog body. I then proceeded to spend about three more hours fixing it. The end result? I got it to do what she wanted it to do in the first place. Success!
If I had tried to do something similar for myself I would have dinked around for an hour, decided that much work wasn't worth it, and reverted to the old site. But love does strange things to the head.
Go and check out the new and improved Wicked Wanderings!
Monday, January 02, 2006
Stating the Obvious
A U.S. study has found that teens exposed to alcohol ads are more likely to drink.
Of course it does! Advertising exists to get people to buy shit. If you really needed it, you'd go to the store and get it, go to the woods and hunt it, or go to your neighbor's and steal it. For everything else, we have advertising. Go inside any marketing firm and you will hear the language of war. These people want territory in the form of market share. Like in any war, ammunition cannot just be shot at the participants.
Advertisement resistant humans are an emerging strain. Only those with the mutation will survive the market wars.
Of course it does! Advertising exists to get people to buy shit. If you really needed it, you'd go to the store and get it, go to the woods and hunt it, or go to your neighbor's and steal it. For everything else, we have advertising. Go inside any marketing firm and you will hear the language of war. These people want territory in the form of market share. Like in any war, ammunition cannot just be shot at the participants.
Advertisement resistant humans are an emerging strain. Only those with the mutation will survive the market wars.
For Your Information
I have embarked on the process of recreating the universe in my own image. Please accept my sincere apologies for any glitches in your personal life. Within a couple of aeons I should have it all sorted out.
Sunday, January 01, 2006
The Inner Psychopath
Breathe in. Breathe out. Release. Let go. Slip away.
A torso full of arms floats by. There it is. It'’s a torso with many arms. Between the arms are vaginas. The hands at the ends of the arms are busy fingering the many vaginas. A giant ball of ecstasy. I expect it to seem hideous, but instead I find it beautiful. It is pleasure. I can find nothing more beautiful than that.
The heads. All the heads. The heads all open up to reveal color, sky, ideas hidden beneath the grey surface. Peeling away like potatoes or tubes pumping information in and out. Quiet contemplation as the inside works away taking us farther further. Do these heads all belong to me? It seems so. Heads. So many of them. How do so many heads fit inside of mine? But yet they exist simultaneously like some quantum demonstration. One reveals itself when I try to take a measure. Depending on how I measure a different head reveals itself.
Out pops the eye. Only one. That one eye through which we can truly see. Aye I eye. Just the eye. The filter through which we experience. But the one eye sees all if it sees at all.
Small wonder if I see who knew. Over the hillside to the damned bank of despair. Hoorah to who saw the path. Out with it. Four and twenty resting on the hillside. They'’re just baking doughnuts.
Oh cull toward forming. I spy with my little eye the guy in the sky. Rest rewards for the weary.
It'’s the stag! Spirit guide me through the other of the aethyr either or. Father I have found thee! Take me down the path. Send me on my way.
Is it all BS or do you just not understand?
Maybe. Maybe.
A torso full of arms floats by. There it is. It'’s a torso with many arms. Between the arms are vaginas. The hands at the ends of the arms are busy fingering the many vaginas. A giant ball of ecstasy. I expect it to seem hideous, but instead I find it beautiful. It is pleasure. I can find nothing more beautiful than that.
The heads. All the heads. The heads all open up to reveal color, sky, ideas hidden beneath the grey surface. Peeling away like potatoes or tubes pumping information in and out. Quiet contemplation as the inside works away taking us farther further. Do these heads all belong to me? It seems so. Heads. So many of them. How do so many heads fit inside of mine? But yet they exist simultaneously like some quantum demonstration. One reveals itself when I try to take a measure. Depending on how I measure a different head reveals itself.
Out pops the eye. Only one. That one eye through which we can truly see. Aye I eye. Just the eye. The filter through which we experience. But the one eye sees all if it sees at all.
Small wonder if I see who knew. Over the hillside to the damned bank of despair. Hoorah to who saw the path. Out with it. Four and twenty resting on the hillside. They'’re just baking doughnuts.
Oh cull toward forming. I spy with my little eye the guy in the sky. Rest rewards for the weary.
It'’s the stag! Spirit guide me through the other of the aethyr either or. Father I have found thee! Take me down the path. Send me on my way.
Is it all BS or do you just not understand?
Maybe. Maybe.
Saturday, December 31, 2005
Book Updates
To those who have hard copies of my book, thank you. You now have in your possesion a very rare item. I went through and fixed a few gramatical blemishes and updated the cover art to print a little closer to what I had initially intended. Of course my love got the very first printing of this book with its little imperfections. Hold onto those rare little gems.
But for those who don't yet have a hard copy, now is a great time to buy a copy of Black Whole Son. You can get the spit polished version. Not real spit, of course.
But for those who don't yet have a hard copy, now is a great time to buy a copy of Black Whole Son. You can get the spit polished version. Not real spit, of course.
Rebirth of a Notion
I have a notion.
In the past I’ve really gotten down on the whole 1960’s counter-culture movement. I have questioned their intents and effects. But now I wonder.
Perhaps the hippies set the stage. Perhaps that great rupture of ‘peace and love’ was planting a seed. I will take that as the case for now. Those who study information systems will recognize that once an idea has found an introduction, it will continue to survive. For instance, even the idea of a flat earth persists and a handful of individuals continue to hold onto this idea. They find data to support it and much of it one could find very persuasive.
The concepts of peace and love, the purported foundations of the counter-cultural movement of the late 60’s, have universal appeal. Who amongst us can argue against the virtues of universal peace and universal love. Can we really say that these are inimical goals?
Another aspect of that time was the concept of personal and individual freedom. Are these not also gallant quests?
The 1960’s failed. The revolution many saw as inevitable through the strength of the Baby Boomers’ numbers never manifested. But that seed was planted.
I see now a bud forming from that seed. A pale stem lurks beneath the surface, pushing against the crust of the earth. As an experiment, let us all in this new year focus on doing everything we can to nurture this seedling. What harm can come from peace, love, and freedom?
In the past I’ve really gotten down on the whole 1960’s counter-culture movement. I have questioned their intents and effects. But now I wonder.
Perhaps the hippies set the stage. Perhaps that great rupture of ‘peace and love’ was planting a seed. I will take that as the case for now. Those who study information systems will recognize that once an idea has found an introduction, it will continue to survive. For instance, even the idea of a flat earth persists and a handful of individuals continue to hold onto this idea. They find data to support it and much of it one could find very persuasive.
The concepts of peace and love, the purported foundations of the counter-cultural movement of the late 60’s, have universal appeal. Who amongst us can argue against the virtues of universal peace and universal love. Can we really say that these are inimical goals?
Another aspect of that time was the concept of personal and individual freedom. Are these not also gallant quests?
The 1960’s failed. The revolution many saw as inevitable through the strength of the Baby Boomers’ numbers never manifested. But that seed was planted.
I see now a bud forming from that seed. A pale stem lurks beneath the surface, pushing against the crust of the earth. As an experiment, let us all in this new year focus on doing everything we can to nurture this seedling. What harm can come from peace, love, and freedom?
Friday, December 30, 2005
Dream
Last night I dreamt that I saw an extremely tall black man. I walked up to him and looked up at his face. He looked down to me and asked, "What are you doing?" I replied, "I've always been tall and often wondered what it's like for others to look up to me."
News: Jake Approves of Spying
In a controversial move sure to haunt his upcoming bid for President, Jake recently announced that he supports spying.
"Covert Information Gathering (CIG) has a long and proud tradition in this country and around the globe." In further statements he made it clear that spying would be a part of his administration. "From the Peeping Tom to the Private Dick, people want to know things ordinarily shrouded in secrecy."
The outline for his program, received through an anonymous source, makes clear that Jake wants to expand the current spy network. An excerpt reads;
The paranoia surrounding any form of CIG and the questioning of the reliability of the sources inevitably leads to an escalation in CIG. Bringing everyone into the business of CIG hastens our progress towards it's inexorable goal. Life, Liberty, and the Perusal of Others' Happiness!
The plan for universal espionage calls for the creation of a national 'dumping ground' to which everyone can post their gathered information. Likewise, any individual can search the board for 'dirt' on any other individual.
Jake's theory behind this? "When we learn that people from all walks of life are doing things we never imagined, for instance that (high ranking politician's name deleted) is an alcoholic cross-dresser or that (media pundit's name deleted) is balling three to five guys a night while stoned out of their gourd, maybe people will stop being so titillated by it all and learn how to mind their own business."
"Covert Information Gathering (CIG) has a long and proud tradition in this country and around the globe." In further statements he made it clear that spying would be a part of his administration. "From the Peeping Tom to the Private Dick, people want to know things ordinarily shrouded in secrecy."
The outline for his program, received through an anonymous source, makes clear that Jake wants to expand the current spy network. An excerpt reads;
The paranoia surrounding any form of CIG and the questioning of the reliability of the sources inevitably leads to an escalation in CIG. Bringing everyone into the business of CIG hastens our progress towards it's inexorable goal. Life, Liberty, and the Perusal of Others' Happiness!
The plan for universal espionage calls for the creation of a national 'dumping ground' to which everyone can post their gathered information. Likewise, any individual can search the board for 'dirt' on any other individual.
Jake's theory behind this? "When we learn that people from all walks of life are doing things we never imagined, for instance that (high ranking politician's name deleted) is an alcoholic cross-dresser or that (media pundit's name deleted) is balling three to five guys a night while stoned out of their gourd, maybe people will stop being so titillated by it all and learn how to mind their own business."
Nothing At All
The ghost of Milwaukee
Just glides down the hall
He asks the tough questions
He walks into walls
What if our history means nothing at all?
Means nothing, nothing at all
Just glides down the hall
He asks the tough questions
He walks into walls
What if our history means nothing at all?
Means nothing, nothing at all
Thursday, December 29, 2005
Three-some
Wednesday, December 28, 2005
More AWPC
OK, so work has been somewhat interesting this week.
Sitting around the lunchroom, I explained how one could theoretically employ the same equipment used in hospitals for MRI's in a smaller model to remove the metal slivers from a person's hand at the end of the work day.
Worker 1: See! I knew you were a smart one.
Worker 2: Well, he did used to be a teacher.
Worker 3: And a priest.
Me: And I'm now a writer on the side.
Worker 1: What the hell are you doing here?!
Me: I like to get dirty.
Sitting around the lunchroom, I explained how one could theoretically employ the same equipment used in hospitals for MRI's in a smaller model to remove the metal slivers from a person's hand at the end of the work day.
Worker 1: See! I knew you were a smart one.
Worker 2: Well, he did used to be a teacher.
Worker 3: And a priest.
Me: And I'm now a writer on the side.
Worker 1: What the hell are you doing here?!
Me: I like to get dirty.
Timing
There were three extremely sexy, smart, lovely, wonderful women in my house this evening.
I of course was at work.
Damn.
I of course was at work.
Damn.
Another AWPC
The ultimate in worker pessimism.
Operator: Day shift said they didn't have to have maintenance come over at all today so I'm sure we'll have quite a bit tonight.
Operator: Day shift said they didn't have to have maintenance come over at all today so I'm sure we'll have quite a bit tonight.
Tuesday, December 27, 2005
AWPC's
Got two of them for you.
Me: We don't need no stinkin' supervisors!
And
Me Again: It can't be that tight and bouncy without a reason.
Me: We don't need no stinkin' supervisors!
And
Me Again: It can't be that tight and bouncy without a reason.
Sunday, December 25, 2005
Gustave Flaubert
"The whole dream of democracy is to raise the proletarian to the level of stupidity attained by the bourgeois."
Saturday, December 24, 2005
Random Thought
For a very long time now, I will look at my hands and not see bloody holes in my palms.
Where has all the stigmata gone?
Long time passing.
Where has all the stigmata gone?
Long time ago.
Where has all the stigmata gone?
Long time passing.
Where has all the stigmata gone?
Long time ago.
Friday, December 23, 2005
Holiday Music
There is one Christmas song that I absolutely, positively adore. The Pogues
, Fairytale of New York from the album If I Should Fall From Grace With God. This song can actually bring tears to my eyes.
, Fairytale of New York from the album If I Should Fall From Grace With God. This song can actually bring tears to my eyes.I Like Exclamation Points!
At least one would think so from my recent post titles.
I'll try to tone it down a bit. You know, raving and ranting in a more calm and controlled manner befitting a slave.
I'll try to tone it down a bit. You know, raving and ranting in a more calm and controlled manner befitting a slave.
Feed the Revolution!
Government doesn't have any problems. Government IS the problem.
People argue up and down about what the founding fathers of the U.S. really intended. If you read up on each of them, you'll get a different answer every time. They couldn't agree on what exactly they wanted. None of us ever can. They did have one thing in common. They could recognize that the system they found themselves under the authority of was tyrannical and intolerable and they had the balls to do something about it.
By reading this post you have agreed to be placed on surveilance under the provisions of the U.S.A. Patriot Act.
People argue up and down about what the founding fathers of the U.S. really intended. If you read up on each of them, you'll get a different answer every time. They couldn't agree on what exactly they wanted. None of us ever can. They did have one thing in common. They could recognize that the system they found themselves under the authority of was tyrannical and intolerable and they had the balls to do something about it.
By reading this post you have agreed to be placed on surveilance under the provisions of the U.S.A. Patriot Act.
Wednesday, December 21, 2005
They Live!
A big tattooed guy (well, smaller than me) was working the counter at the shop. New guy there. Arms covered in a mess of ill planned ink, much looking like stereotypical prison ink. He was talking with some gal sporting Bettie Page hair about a friend getting new boobs for Christmas. "Everybody agrees she has saggy, flappy boobs." And he was playing the Dead Milkmen, Big Lizard in my Backyard over the store stereo. And he was realy nice and apologized seemingly quite sincerely for me having to wait while he rung up a couple of other people.
Tuesday, December 20, 2005
Santa Claus is Coming!
As we now enter the longest night, let us each take time to offer up a sacrifice and invoke Santa, that he may appear in fiery red brilliance bringing with him the Sun.
Santa is the light bringer. Strangely, Lucifer is the light bringer as well. He was cast out of favor with Jehovah for giving light to man. Very similar to the Promtheus tale. I guess all those fundamentalist Christians were right. I wish I would have figured that out ages ago. This year I'm actually starting to like Christmas.
And those Christmas trees! Those magnificent Christmas trees in pine, so tall and erect and symbols of eternal life even in these, our darkest hours.
People everywhere sacrificing. They always spend a fortune on gifts and never get what they want out of it. Except the return of the Sun. That's sacrifice! Those milk and cookies that kids leave out for the Light Bringer? Yep, ritual sacrifice. An alien cultural observing this would find it an interesting twist on the Sunday Mass where WE consume to Christ's Mass, where the light bringer, he who was cast out of heaven, consumes the sacrament.
Happy solstice everyone. Santa is coming and he brings with him the Sun.
Hail unto Thee who art RA in thy rising. Even unto Thee who art RA in thy strength. Who travellest over the heavens in thy bark at the uprising of the Sun. Tahuti standeth in His splendor at the prow and Ra-Hoor abideth at the helm. Hail unto Thee from the abodes of night!
Santa is the light bringer. Strangely, Lucifer is the light bringer as well. He was cast out of favor with Jehovah for giving light to man. Very similar to the Promtheus tale. I guess all those fundamentalist Christians were right. I wish I would have figured that out ages ago. This year I'm actually starting to like Christmas.
And those Christmas trees! Those magnificent Christmas trees in pine, so tall and erect and symbols of eternal life even in these, our darkest hours.
People everywhere sacrificing. They always spend a fortune on gifts and never get what they want out of it. Except the return of the Sun. That's sacrifice! Those milk and cookies that kids leave out for the Light Bringer? Yep, ritual sacrifice. An alien cultural observing this would find it an interesting twist on the Sunday Mass where WE consume to Christ's Mass, where the light bringer, he who was cast out of heaven, consumes the sacrament.
Happy solstice everyone. Santa is coming and he brings with him the Sun.
Hail unto Thee who art RA in thy rising. Even unto Thee who art RA in thy strength. Who travellest over the heavens in thy bark at the uprising of the Sun. Tahuti standeth in His splendor at the prow and Ra-Hoor abideth at the helm. Hail unto Thee from the abodes of night!
Monday, December 19, 2005
Snow
We got snow and ice here in Portland. Not much. But it doesn't take much to turn this town upside down. Fear and Loathing on the highways.
Sunday, December 18, 2005
Rejoice!
Is a God to live in a dog? No! but the highest are of us. They shall rejoice, our chosen: who sorroweth is not of us.
Saturday, December 17, 2005
Adult Material
For those wondering why when you try to view and/or purchase Black Whole Son you get a message saying, "This storefront contains content not viewable by your content access level," here's why.
It's adult material. To view and/or purchase it, you need to create an account on Lulu.com and set your content access level to 'mature'. Then you can see the book, the cover art, and even download a free preview selection.
Happy reading!
It's adult material. To view and/or purchase it, you need to create an account on Lulu.com and set your content access level to 'mature'. Then you can see the book, the cover art, and even download a free preview selection.
Happy reading!
Public Enemy
So the Goddess and I were talking over burgers, milk shakes, and fries. A lot of people seem paranoid that the FBI might be tapping their phones and reading their mail. I laughed. I've known for years that the FBI has a huge file on me and likes to check in on the old phone lines and letters business every so often. It happens when you demand some of those things granted by the Consitution. But there, in the corner of the burger joint, it dawned on me;
Who else has been eaves dropping on me? Naval Intelligence has had complaints brought against it for far exceeding its bounds on domestic intelligence gathering. Then there's the Dept. of Homeland Security, they might want to know what I've been up to. Even the CIA has had its wrists slapped a few times for spying around in its own country. And what of local law enforcement? Nobody shares information with other departments. They all think that somehow the others have been infiltrated and will leak the goods to the 'enemy'. So while I used to sleep soundly knowing that the FBI was watching over me and my activities, now I just don't know. Maybe even the aliens are in on it. You can't trust those Doggies from Sirius.
The middle aged gentleman in the next booth wasn't looking too healthy by the time I got done ranting about all of this. I didn't mean to frighten him. I was just theorizing that maybe even the Discordians have super secret sleeper agents planted everywhere, waiting to pounce on the squares in the dark alleys of their minds.
Who else has been eaves dropping on me? Naval Intelligence has had complaints brought against it for far exceeding its bounds on domestic intelligence gathering. Then there's the Dept. of Homeland Security, they might want to know what I've been up to. Even the CIA has had its wrists slapped a few times for spying around in its own country. And what of local law enforcement? Nobody shares information with other departments. They all think that somehow the others have been infiltrated and will leak the goods to the 'enemy'. So while I used to sleep soundly knowing that the FBI was watching over me and my activities, now I just don't know. Maybe even the aliens are in on it. You can't trust those Doggies from Sirius.
The middle aged gentleman in the next booth wasn't looking too healthy by the time I got done ranting about all of this. I didn't mean to frighten him. I was just theorizing that maybe even the Discordians have super secret sleeper agents planted everywhere, waiting to pounce on the squares in the dark alleys of their minds.
Hooray!
Hooray for wild mood swings! That means life will get a lot more interesting for me. When I've got the big ball of chaos following me around, even ordinary events get a little english on them.
Why do people try to medicate this shit away? Until you see the blood stains on the wall, don't worry so much.
Why do people try to medicate this shit away? Until you see the blood stains on the wall, don't worry so much.
Magick
Thursday I did an Invocation of LIL. It has put me in a very strange head space for a few days now. Strange and wonderful. Playful. Ecstatic. Fantastic. Light. And I've had these wild swings from peaceful meditative budha with eyes unable to focus to large and in charge ego maniac who smiles at the 12 volumes on the book shelf dedicated to his favorite person, himself. But in both cases, I feel a lot of love. I go from loving myself to loving everyone. And while I can find fault with people, I can't find fault with individuals. People are strange. People do all kinds of statistically average things. Individuals can't do anything statistically average, and that's lovely.
I even love GW today. That man has provided us with an icon that surpasses Nixon. It was a damn difficult task, but he did it. Wow. Cheers on that.
That whole administration has taken paranoia and plotting so far beyond what people who lived through the Reagan nightmare could have imagined. Able to whimsically blow off behind the scenes scandals that make Bill Clinton's and JFK's affairs seem trite. Wow.
And those poor politicians who call themselves Democrats. Emperor Norton abolished both political parties during his reign as king way back when. And those poor Democrats are trying so hard to do the will of the people. But people want very strange statistically average things that most individuals don't want. But those Dems just keep right on trying. Way to stay the course. Kudos.
And here I am, alive and happy and acting freely despite all of this. I hope it doesn't bother them much. I know royal families in other countries don't often seem all that happy. This emperor feels pretty good right now. Maybe I have to. No castle, no crown, no jewels. Maybe I need to keep the positive energy up to compensate for the lack of physical manifestations of my status. If somebody wants to give me a castle or two I wouldn't say no. Preferably one with a siege tower so I can use it to drop gelatin products on 'invaders' like people selling satellite television or politicians.
What do you mean yesterday? I don't know what you're talking about.
And LIL didn't seem nearly as short as God. Not short at all.
I even love GW today. That man has provided us with an icon that surpasses Nixon. It was a damn difficult task, but he did it. Wow. Cheers on that.
That whole administration has taken paranoia and plotting so far beyond what people who lived through the Reagan nightmare could have imagined. Able to whimsically blow off behind the scenes scandals that make Bill Clinton's and JFK's affairs seem trite. Wow.
And those poor politicians who call themselves Democrats. Emperor Norton abolished both political parties during his reign as king way back when. And those poor Democrats are trying so hard to do the will of the people. But people want very strange statistically average things that most individuals don't want. But those Dems just keep right on trying. Way to stay the course. Kudos.
And here I am, alive and happy and acting freely despite all of this. I hope it doesn't bother them much. I know royal families in other countries don't often seem all that happy. This emperor feels pretty good right now. Maybe I have to. No castle, no crown, no jewels. Maybe I need to keep the positive energy up to compensate for the lack of physical manifestations of my status. If somebody wants to give me a castle or two I wouldn't say no. Preferably one with a siege tower so I can use it to drop gelatin products on 'invaders' like people selling satellite television or politicians.
What do you mean yesterday? I don't know what you're talking about.
And LIL didn't seem nearly as short as God. Not short at all.
SpaceTime
You were just imagining it. It never really happened.
You were just imagining it. It never really happened.
You were just imagining it. It never really happened.
You were just imagining it. It never really happened.
You were just imagining it. It never really happened.
Friday, December 16, 2005
Red in the Neck
I've got one hell of an outfit on today and a mood to match.
I'm wearing my duck cloth Utilikilt, a black t-shirt (of course), a tattered red flannel shirt, my old suede rust colored Silverado cowboy hat (14 years in this hat), a green denim jacket, and my gigantic 30 hole steel toed 'WTF You Looking At?' shiny boots.
The whole thing is this weird punk/cowboy/grunge ensemble that's neither here nor there. Yet this weird combination has come together to create something uniquely and fantasticly 'me'. It pays to experiment with weird combinations.
So to fit that mood, I'm listening to the latest podcast from Bloodshot Records. Acts like Deadstring Brothers and Waco Brothers are really doing it for me right now. But it leaves me wondering why Bloodshot hasn't picked up Fluffers Union yet?
I'm wearing my duck cloth Utilikilt, a black t-shirt (of course), a tattered red flannel shirt, my old suede rust colored Silverado cowboy hat (14 years in this hat), a green denim jacket, and my gigantic 30 hole steel toed 'WTF You Looking At?' shiny boots.
The whole thing is this weird punk/cowboy/grunge ensemble that's neither here nor there. Yet this weird combination has come together to create something uniquely and fantasticly 'me'. It pays to experiment with weird combinations.
So to fit that mood, I'm listening to the latest podcast from Bloodshot Records. Acts like Deadstring Brothers and Waco Brothers are really doing it for me right now. But it leaves me wondering why Bloodshot hasn't picked up Fluffers Union yet?
Women in the White House
Some say that Hillary Clinton is set to be the next President. I'm all for women in the White House. Hillary's husband is all for women in the White House as well.
Why is it that the older I get, the more national politics looks like those 'class president' popularity polls from high school? Did your class president ever represent you or your ideas?
Why is it that the older I get, the more national politics looks like those 'class president' popularity polls from high school? Did your class president ever represent you or your ideas?
Thursday, December 15, 2005
Favorite Things
While there are plenty of things in life that make it a wonderful experience, there is one thing that I love and plenty of other people love that so rarely gets mentioned. Warm clothes fresh out of the dryer always feel great. On a cold day, especially so. Even on a hot day they can feel good. I've worn line dried clothes. Even when they've been hanging in the sun, soaking up the rays, it just can't beat clothes fresh out of the dryer.
Difference of Opinion
Recently Knight of Pan and I had a heated debate over Stan 'Tookie' Williams specifically and the death penalty in general. As brothers fight ye!
Both of us have really strong opinions on the matter and we don't see eye to eye on it. But I want to thank him personally and publicly for an excellent discussion of the matter. It's this kind of discourse that I find the most refreshing. Of course, that's why I've always liked Knight of Pan.
A co-worker recently took offense to the fact that while we had many similar musical tastes, I didn't enjoy listening to Van Morrison. She was determined that somehow I had made an error of judgment. Explaining that I loved many bands that she had never even heard of didn't seem to patch over this rough spot.
When isirkus and I went to see the opening of Maybe Logic with a special Q&A with Robert Anton Wilson, a member of the audience questioned how he could like light classical but not contemporary jazz. Somehow the questioner felt that the author not liking jazz was a mistake that could and should be corrected.
As people, we won't always agree on things. Quite often we can't even agree to disagree. Somehow knowing that someone you love doesn't share the same world view as yourself seems 'wrong'. I have yet to find a single individual that will agree with me 100% of the time. We all have our differences. If I could have one trait in common with the rest of humanity, it would be the understanding that while we are all more alike than different, we are still all different from each other. Don't take it so personally.
And thanks to Hayduke for watching and commenting on the whole affair.
Both of us have really strong opinions on the matter and we don't see eye to eye on it. But I want to thank him personally and publicly for an excellent discussion of the matter. It's this kind of discourse that I find the most refreshing. Of course, that's why I've always liked Knight of Pan.
A co-worker recently took offense to the fact that while we had many similar musical tastes, I didn't enjoy listening to Van Morrison. She was determined that somehow I had made an error of judgment. Explaining that I loved many bands that she had never even heard of didn't seem to patch over this rough spot.
When isirkus and I went to see the opening of Maybe Logic with a special Q&A with Robert Anton Wilson, a member of the audience questioned how he could like light classical but not contemporary jazz. Somehow the questioner felt that the author not liking jazz was a mistake that could and should be corrected.
As people, we won't always agree on things. Quite often we can't even agree to disagree. Somehow knowing that someone you love doesn't share the same world view as yourself seems 'wrong'. I have yet to find a single individual that will agree with me 100% of the time. We all have our differences. If I could have one trait in common with the rest of humanity, it would be the understanding that while we are all more alike than different, we are still all different from each other. Don't take it so personally.
And thanks to Hayduke for watching and commenting on the whole affair.
Monday, December 12, 2005
Divine Communion
Had another visit from the Lady in Silver last night. Who is she? Read Cosmic Trigger. To make it short, I came to Her as Saturn, She called me Adonis, and She had me drink from her cup.
. To make it short, I came to Her as Saturn, She called me Adonis, and She had me drink from her cup.
Saturday, December 10, 2005
Citations
Quite often in the midst of a conversation someone will pull a quote, statistic, or theory out as ammunition. Things like 'The Wall Street Journal says,' or 'Mark Twain once wrote,' or even 'Nazi Scientists discovered...' I use references quite a bit myself.
On three occasions now, people have quoted or referred to material from my book, Black Whole Son. Once the person couldn't even remember the source of what she was citing and was a bit embarrassed when I pointed out it was from my book. It's all so fantastic! Less than a month and people reference the book. I am a citation source. Yay!
On three occasions now, people have quoted or referred to material from my book, Black Whole Son. Once the person couldn't even remember the source of what she was citing and was a bit embarrassed when I pointed out it was from my book. It's all so fantastic! Less than a month and people reference the book. I am a citation source. Yay!
To Kill or Not to Kill
I won't comment here about my opinions on the upcoming execution of Stanley Tookie Williams. I've already got an excellent dialogue going on with Knight of Pan.
But I would like to point something out here. Have you noticed that people in favor of carrying out his death sentence will typically use the photo on the left and those who argue for a stay of execution tend to show the photo on the right?
Thus God Spake
God came to me in a vision. You know how people often joke about how, "He's shorter than I expected." It's true. I've talked with him a couple of times. Nice guy. Really short. Likes to wear strange outfits and speak with funny accents.
Long story short, I'm in charge of the whole world now. It's kind of nice. That means I can travel anywhere around the globe and still be at home in my kingdom.
God's a nice guy. Really short though.
Long story short, I'm in charge of the whole world now. It's kind of nice. That means I can travel anywhere around the globe and still be at home in my kingdom.
God's a nice guy. Really short though.
Friday, December 09, 2005
White
I have never liked Spike Lee. In my opinion, his films are grade A typical of what comes out of an NYU film student. On the other hand, that formula made a much bigger star of Martin Scorsese than it did of Spike Lee.
Watch this. Are the people giving him a fair shake? Are they actually listening to what he is saying? Is what he is saying the least bit plausible?
I'm about as white as they come, and I feel real sorry for Spike in this clip. I don't know if he is right or wrong, but the people aren't even responding to what he actually said, and that's sad.
Watch this. Are the people giving him a fair shake? Are they actually listening to what he is saying? Is what he is saying the least bit plausible?
I'm about as white as they come, and I feel real sorry for Spike in this clip. I don't know if he is right or wrong, but the people aren't even responding to what he actually said, and that's sad.
Thursday, December 08, 2005
Wilson Quote
Through the years, (Robert Anton) Wilson and (Albert) Hoffman have stayed in touch. "He's a fan of my books," says Wilson, "and I'm a fan of his drugs."
AWPC
As soon as I heard the guy say this, I knew that this was my AWPC for the day. So I grabbed my pocket notebook and wrote it down, word for word.
Operator: I was like fuck. I mean the bread, son-of-a-bitch. Tuna fish by itself? Fuck. I mean fuck. All eatin' it and shit. Fuck.
Operator: I was like fuck. I mean the bread, son-of-a-bitch. Tuna fish by itself? Fuck. I mean fuck. All eatin' it and shit. Fuck.
Wednesday, December 07, 2005
Dig DiRT
'Back in the day', as I like to say at work, X and I had worked on a little something we called Demented Radical Thinking, DiRT. We cultivated this as a means of altering reality through the use of our minds. People tended to consider us quite nuts for it and we would often accept the compliment as the freight train rolled through the classroom.
Turns out, we weren't nearly as original as we thought at the time. We did, however, find ourselves in good company. Salvador Dali utilized a method he called Critical Paranoia. While not as all encompassing as DiRT, I must still give a nod to those who trod this path before us.
Turns out, we weren't nearly as original as we thought at the time. We did, however, find ourselves in good company. Salvador Dali utilized a method he called Critical Paranoia. While not as all encompassing as DiRT, I must still give a nod to those who trod this path before us.
LAMP!
The League of Armed Marijuanna Patients has great quotes from George Washington, John Adams, Lysander Spooner, and Friedrich Nietzsche.
Spookiness
This girl doing overtime freaked me out last night. Never worked with her before. Nothing really wrong with her. In fact, that's the origination of the freakiness.
Imagine an alien species is looking at humans in America. They scan our communications (radio, phone, and television) to determine our habits. They figure out what kinds of things are going on, what is acceptable, what isn't, and they are now ready to send an agent to the surface for some field work.
So they send the agent in to Walmart to buy everything they need, because it's America's number one retailer. They then try to put together a fashionable ensemble based on what they can get at Walmart and what they have seen in media sources. Trust me, it's very, VERY frightening.
Very nice person. Almost too nice. Almost. See, it's just sort of alien. It's almost like I should turn the whole situation over to the Committee for Surrealist Investigation of Claims of the Normal.
Imagine an alien species is looking at humans in America. They scan our communications (radio, phone, and television) to determine our habits. They figure out what kinds of things are going on, what is acceptable, what isn't, and they are now ready to send an agent to the surface for some field work.
So they send the agent in to Walmart to buy everything they need, because it's America's number one retailer. They then try to put together a fashionable ensemble based on what they can get at Walmart and what they have seen in media sources. Trust me, it's very, VERY frightening.
Very nice person. Almost too nice. Almost. See, it's just sort of alien. It's almost like I should turn the whole situation over to the Committee for Surrealist Investigation of Claims of the Normal.
Tuesday, December 06, 2005
Black Whole Sonnier
I thought about it for a while and have decided to cut the cost of Black Whole Son. You can now buy it for $1.00! Or just $8.05 for a printed copy (plus shipping). This is a first book, written in (less than) one month. The cover rocks! That's what makes the printed version such a value. But I make the same either way.
It really is a great book. Well worth the money to download a copy for a read. So the price has come down to take away everyone's excuse for not buying a copy. You'd spend a buck on a lotto ticket, and this provides some guaranteed entertainment.
It really is a great book. Well worth the money to download a copy for a read. So the price has come down to take away everyone's excuse for not buying a copy. You'd spend a buck on a lotto ticket, and this provides some guaranteed entertainment.
Wikinformation
So some hot shot journalist gets upset because a Wikipedia article implicates reporter in the Kennedy assasination.
I like Wikipedia. I like it because I know it is flawed. Anyone can add content. Opinions are part of encyclopedia entries. And if you disagree with an entry, you can add to, edit, or replace it with your own. I like to hound this point but here goes again. When you look up topics in Britanica and Wikipedia, what is the difference between the entries? What makes one a more reputable source than the other? Here's my answer. The authors for the Britanica pieces operate under the delusion that they are seperate from the piece, impartial. They aren't! Light seems to travel as a wave or a particle depending on what we use to look at it. A scientist could be completely objective and talk all about his experiences looking at light waves. Another scientist could be completely objective and talk all about her experiences looking at light particles. Neither is wrong, but their data won't match. That's all information that reaches us. We see what we are looking for. Using an opensource project like Wikipedia is a constant reminder of who the ultimate editor in your life has to be.
Further lessons:
How do you know that the New York Times is telling the truth and the Weekly World News is lieing?
Why did a majority of the population, including Democratic Congressmen and Senators, believe the pre-Iraq invasion intelligence reports?
How is a person in an American flag shirt and a yellow ribbon on their SUV more or less patriotic than an artist who suspends a crucifix in urine and makes people walk across an American flag if they want to view it?
Information consists of what you directly experience. Your brain then filters a good deal of it before you can even 'think' about it. Ever met a reporter? No brighter than you or me. Imagine all the filtering that happens in their brains before writing a piece. Then an editor reads and filters. Then you read an filter.
Mis-Information, Dis-Information, completely altered and edited reality. You create your own reality, every second.
And if you disagree with all of the above, then you are not right or wrong. You are seeing the world through a filter that blocks or edits some of the information.
I like Wikipedia. I like it because I know it is flawed. Anyone can add content. Opinions are part of encyclopedia entries. And if you disagree with an entry, you can add to, edit, or replace it with your own. I like to hound this point but here goes again. When you look up topics in Britanica and Wikipedia, what is the difference between the entries? What makes one a more reputable source than the other? Here's my answer. The authors for the Britanica pieces operate under the delusion that they are seperate from the piece, impartial. They aren't! Light seems to travel as a wave or a particle depending on what we use to look at it. A scientist could be completely objective and talk all about his experiences looking at light waves. Another scientist could be completely objective and talk all about her experiences looking at light particles. Neither is wrong, but their data won't match. That's all information that reaches us. We see what we are looking for. Using an opensource project like Wikipedia is a constant reminder of who the ultimate editor in your life has to be.
Further lessons:
How do you know that the New York Times is telling the truth and the Weekly World News is lieing?
Why did a majority of the population, including Democratic Congressmen and Senators, believe the pre-Iraq invasion intelligence reports?
How is a person in an American flag shirt and a yellow ribbon on their SUV more or less patriotic than an artist who suspends a crucifix in urine and makes people walk across an American flag if they want to view it?
Information consists of what you directly experience. Your brain then filters a good deal of it before you can even 'think' about it. Ever met a reporter? No brighter than you or me. Imagine all the filtering that happens in their brains before writing a piece. Then an editor reads and filters. Then you read an filter.
Mis-Information, Dis-Information, completely altered and edited reality. You create your own reality, every second.
And if you disagree with all of the above, then you are not right or wrong. You are seeing the world through a filter that blocks or edits some of the information.
Happy Holidays!
I found yet another wonderful ode to the holiday season. Check out the video at http://www.karkis.net/. It feels as though the universe has conspired to get me to like December again.
Saturday, December 03, 2005
On a Roll
Government is not reason, it is not eloquence, it is force; like fire, a troublesome servant and a fearful master. Never for a moment should it be left to irresponsible action.
George Washington
George Washington
Embrace Technology
Life imitates jokes. Not too long ago I heard jokes about the 'iProd'. Now I see geek girl's new best friend, the iBuzz. Cyndi Lauper was right.
Santa IS Evil
We sat on the couch and watched 'Santa Claus is Coming to Town' tonight. Some things I noticed.
Santa learns from the animals much like shamans do.
When the Winter Warlock's heart unfreezes and he wants to be good, Santa encourages self determination over salvation.
When Santa gets married, not only is the ceremony outside in the forest, but the bride is wearing BLUE! Way to go, Santa!
I'd swear the 'first christmas tree' has rose croix with unicursal hexagrams in the centers.
The extreme right christians might have something when they call Santa Claus evil. After rewatchng the old film even I like the Santa presented.
Santa learns from the animals much like shamans do.
When the Winter Warlock's heart unfreezes and he wants to be good, Santa encourages self determination over salvation.
When Santa gets married, not only is the ceremony outside in the forest, but the bride is wearing BLUE! Way to go, Santa!
I'd swear the 'first christmas tree' has rose croix with unicursal hexagrams in the centers.
The extreme right christians might have something when they call Santa Claus evil. After rewatchng the old film even I like the Santa presented.
Friday, December 02, 2005
Smarter Than Cap'n Crunch
Looking at the back of my cereal box.
It asks me how many bells I can find hidden. Easy.
A. None since all the ones I saw were in plain site, or
B. Indeterminate since they are, after all, hidden.
And the final stretch of the maze was cut off by a starburst graphic instructing me to have an adult help me cut out the ticket. So you can't finish it. You're blockaded.
It asks me how many bells I can find hidden. Easy.
A. None since all the ones I saw were in plain site, or
B. Indeterminate since they are, after all, hidden.
And the final stretch of the maze was cut off by a starburst graphic instructing me to have an adult help me cut out the ticket. So you can't finish it. You're blockaded.
Thursday, December 01, 2005
Doing it Right
At work I found myself having to bend over to wire up a new motor, clutch, and brake on a preset table. True to form, I knew my ass crack was showing. For a few seconds it bothered me. Then I remembered, "Hey. I'm doing electrical work. If ever there is a time to have one's ass crack showing, surely it is now!"
So I bared it with pride. And of course no one complained. I was merely showing my professional work credentials.
So I bared it with pride. And of course no one complained. I was merely showing my professional work credentials.
Wednesday, November 30, 2005
Tuesday, November 29, 2005
Black Whole Son Available!
That's right! Now everybody can purchse a copy of my first book, Black Whole Son. Well not everybody. You have to be 17 and older. Which means it has to be good, right?
What's that? You want to know how to buy my book? You can purchase it at lulu.com.
I've tried to keep it affordable. Only $9.23 for a copy you can hold in your hands and $2.18 for the el cheapo downloadable version. So go get a copy of Black Whole Son right now!
What's that? You want to know how to buy my book? You can purchase it at lulu.com.
I've tried to keep it affordable. Only $9.23 for a copy you can hold in your hands and $2.18 for the el cheapo downloadable version. So go get a copy of Black Whole Son right now!
Monday, November 28, 2005
For the Sake of Accuracy
A friend recently posted on their blog:
"But hey- I know better than anyone else that things are not always what they seem."
Not true. My friend Rolfe knows better than anyone else that things are not always what they seem. Anyone who knows Rolfe would most certainly agree. And the rest of us are just posers in the freak kingdom.
"But hey- I know better than anyone else that things are not always what they seem."
Not true. My friend Rolfe knows better than anyone else that things are not always what they seem. Anyone who knows Rolfe would most certainly agree. And the rest of us are just posers in the freak kingdom.
Cyberhugging
"Daddy wants to give you a hug. Put on your special suit."
I think most of us can figure out where a suit that can simulate increased temperature and pressure via net interactions will REALLY get used.
I think most of us can figure out where a suit that can simulate increased temperature and pressure via net interactions will REALLY get used.
Sunday, November 27, 2005
Men (and Women) in Black
Shirts!
I had opted not to make shirts for sale at Cafe Press since they had no black option. I have one non-black shirt in my own collection. It dates back to a 1992 Dead Milkmen concert.
But now I can sell Black T-shirts! Pretty freakin' awesome.
These fabulous designs let you show your patriotism and distrust of systems of power simultaneously.
Consume! Consume! Consume!
Note: Every time I try to avoid profanity by using the term 'freakin', the Blogger spell checker suggests I change it to 'foreskin'. Pretty foreskin awesome!
I'm a Winner!
It's official. I submitted my manuscript to NaNoWriMo and was declared a winner. That little icon over there proves it. Or you can check out my profile and see the nifty winner's banner around my picture. Warm fuzziness for certain.
Friday, November 25, 2005
Abolitionists
"…Buckminster Fuller and Werner Erhard have proposed that we can and should abolish starvation by the end of this century.
"This goal is rational, practical, and desirable; so it is naturally denounced as Utopian, fantastic, and absurd.
"I wish to propose a similar goal, which is also rational, practical, amd desirable, and which will also be denounced as Utopian, fantastic, and absurd.
"I suggest a worldwide War against Stupidity."
Hagbard Celine (or Robert Anton Wilson), 1980
"This goal is rational, practical, and desirable; so it is naturally denounced as Utopian, fantastic, and absurd.
"I wish to propose a similar goal, which is also rational, practical, amd desirable, and which will also be denounced as Utopian, fantastic, and absurd.
"I suggest a worldwide War against Stupidity."
Hagbard Celine (or Robert Anton Wilson), 1980
Teaser Time!
Dieu LaRue, a devout deviant and playboy, has just found out that his best friend, Howard LaDuke, is about to become a father. In what he sees as a last stab at freedom, he convinces his friend to join him on a cross country journey on motorcycles to chase down a past that never was and a future that can never be. What they are looking for and what they find are not what they expect.
Join Dieu and How as they indulge in sex and drugs and sex and motorcycles and sex and magick and sex in a journey through space and time on a plotted course to an unknowable destination. The answers to all of their questions and misgivings reveal themselves in chaos and order. Their misgivings and questions to all of the answers veil themselves in order and chaos. Who is the Black Whole Son?
Join Dieu and How as they indulge in sex and drugs and sex and motorcycles and sex and magick and sex in a journey through space and time on a plotted course to an unknowable destination. The answers to all of their questions and misgivings reveal themselves in chaos and order. Their misgivings and questions to all of the answers veil themselves in order and chaos. Who is the Black Whole Son?
Thursday, November 24, 2005
A Super Car in Every Garage
Everybody needs a super vehicle. Not a Hummer or some other off the lot piece of crap, I mean a real super machine. But I probably think this way due to my imprints as a youngin' in front of the ol' idiot box. What was I watching? Knight Rider and Dukes of Hazard were favorites of mine. I didn't like Fall Guy, but I always watched the opening scene to see that big custom truck doing crazy stuff. I didn't like Hardcastle and McCormick but would watch it for the car. And remember The Highwayman with that big tractor trailer setup that would transform into a helicopter to go fight evil for the government? I even liked all of the Herbie films. And the Mad Max films. Damn, that was good stuff.In the late 90's I went nuts over motorcycle films. Easy Rider, Wild Angels, and Rebel Rousers were my favorites. The bikes in those flicks are memorable. I watched many others, but the bikes just didn't have that unique appeal.
In recent years, there are only a couple of extremely unique super vehicles I've seen on television. There's Apu's Firebird and Snake's Lil Bandit. This might have a lot to do with me not watching television and not paying for cable to get some of the stranger shows. I know you've got things like American Chopper and Monster Garage, but that's not the same. You can't develop a relationship with those vehicles. They aren't imprinting. KITT imprinted. STEALTH imprinted. The General Lee imprinted. Captain America imprinted. The Australian Ford Falcon, "The last of the V8 Interceptors," imprinted. (Why do you think Beyond Thunderdome sucked so bad?)
So this Thanksgiving, I give thanks for super vehicles, the customizers behind the scenes that built them for almost no glory, the stunt men that made them look so damn fun, and the actors who were nothing without them. Without you, I would not be who I am today. And my neighbors wouldn't be cursing that I work the night shift.
Meat!
Work gave me a turkey again this year. What the hell am I supposed to do with a 19 lb bird? But hey, at least they gave me something. And there's quite a few people at work who can actually use a turkey like that to feed their family.
So I've invited a couple of people over to try and put a dent in this bird. But everybody's busy. We're doing it Saturday instead.
And we're still going to have a lot of freakin' meat leftover. We'll freeze most of it and eat on that crap for WEEKS!
19 lb bird. Damn.
So I've invited a couple of people over to try and put a dent in this bird. But everybody's busy. We're doing it Saturday instead.
And we're still going to have a lot of freakin' meat leftover. We'll freeze most of it and eat on that crap for WEEKS!
19 lb bird. Damn.
Wednesday, November 23, 2005
Super Ultra Uber
Went out and bought groceries. Got home, let the lovely Kris out of the truck with a handfull of bags and keys to get in the door. I pulled up the rest of the way. I loaded down my right hand with five grocery bags and a lunch box. I then looked at the 50 lb. bag of Purina Dog Chow and thought, "Well, it's worth a shot."
Folks, I lifted a 50 lb. bag of dog food out of the bed of the truck with my left arm while carrying groceries in my right hand. I even hoisted it onto my shoulder so I could get in the house easily.
That made me feel pretty freakin' uber.
Folks, I lifted a 50 lb. bag of dog food out of the bed of the truck with my left arm while carrying groceries in my right hand. I even hoisted it onto my shoulder so I could get in the house easily.
That made me feel pretty freakin' uber.
Monday, November 21, 2005
New Excerpt Posted
After an e-mail from someone who played a rather important role in this book being written, I've decided to post a new excerpt on my NaNo Profile.
Warning, this excerpt is so incredibly Not Safe For Work! Thought you folks wasting precious company time or sticking it to the man might like to know.
Warning, this excerpt is so incredibly Not Safe For Work! Thought you folks wasting precious company time or sticking it to the man might like to know.
Buy Nothing Day 2005
I just wanted all of my readers to know that this Friday, November 25th, is Buy Nothing Day!
That's right. For 24 hours those of us who choose to participate in BND will do so by not participating in consumer culture. Why do I choose to observe BND? Remember the feeding frenzy on toys like Cabage Patch Kids and Tickle Me Elmos? Remember family trying to insist that it wasn't about the presents even though they spent tons of time and cash on gifts? Ever found yourself in a mall during the holiday shopping season surrounded by stressed out shoppers and having to listen to that damn music until your ears bleed? I have a solution for you. This Friday, buy nothing. Shortly after that my book will be available for sale and you can buy it for all your friends! Problem solved. Merry seX-Mas!
So let's all band together and make this the worst first day of the X-Mas shopping season ever! (Sorry X. That's what you get for having your own holiday.)
That's right. For 24 hours those of us who choose to participate in BND will do so by not participating in consumer culture. Why do I choose to observe BND? Remember the feeding frenzy on toys like Cabage Patch Kids and Tickle Me Elmos? Remember family trying to insist that it wasn't about the presents even though they spent tons of time and cash on gifts? Ever found yourself in a mall during the holiday shopping season surrounded by stressed out shoppers and having to listen to that damn music until your ears bleed? I have a solution for you. This Friday, buy nothing. Shortly after that my book will be available for sale and you can buy it for all your friends! Problem solved. Merry seX-Mas!
So let's all band together and make this the worst first day of the X-Mas shopping season ever! (Sorry X. That's what you get for having your own holiday.)
Perfectly Smutty
I have it on pretty good authority that I have written an NC-17 novel. I didn't mean to. It just sort of happened. And of course nobody who knows me would believe that.
A couple more stops and Black Whole Son will be available for your consumer needs.
A couple more stops and Black Whole Son will be available for your consumer needs.
Sunday, November 20, 2005
Done!
I have done it! In just three weeks time I have written a 50k+ book.
Next step, I will have my beloved read the book and correct all of the frammatical errors. I have left room for mistakes. But Regardless, I have done it. I have succeded!
In your face Space Coyote!
Next step, I will have my beloved read the book and correct all of the frammatical errors. I have left room for mistakes. But Regardless, I have done it. I have succeded!
In your face Space Coyote!
Saturday, November 19, 2005
Black Whole Son
Well, that's the title of the book I'm writing. It's gotten me this far and I'm sticking to it. How far is this far? I've got 2,300 words to go. See y'all tomorrow.
Meta-Programming
You know you've got a loser script when you constantly hold everybody else to your own standards and yourself to everyone else's standards.
A winner script should contain holding yourself only to your own standards and realizing that you will never live up to them, so don't sweat it. As for everybody else, don't worry. Don't worry about your coworkers, your friends, your family, your boss, that policeman, the president, or intragalactic invasion.
There is an old Discordian proverb:
When in doubt, fuck it.
When not in doubt, get in doubt.
A winner script should contain holding yourself only to your own standards and realizing that you will never live up to them, so don't sweat it. As for everybody else, don't worry. Don't worry about your coworkers, your friends, your family, your boss, that policeman, the president, or intragalactic invasion.
There is an old Discordian proverb:
When in doubt, fuck it.
When not in doubt, get in doubt.
Friday, November 18, 2005
Groceries and More
At the grocery store buying food and beer.
Checkout Girl: I need to see your ID.
Me: Certainly. (Hand her my driver's license.)
Checkout Girl: (Several glances back and forth.) This almost doesn't look like you.
Me: I've lost a lot of weight.
Checkout Girl: Not to say big isn't beautiful, but you look good.
Checkout Girl: I need to see your ID.
Me: Certainly. (Hand her my driver's license.)
Checkout Girl: (Several glances back and forth.) This almost doesn't look like you.
Me: I've lost a lot of weight.
Checkout Girl: Not to say big isn't beautiful, but you look good.
Yucky!
Maynard James Keenan is known for venting his personal angst through the abstract metal of his former band Tool and the poisoned art rock of his current outfit A Perfect Circle.
Personal angst? Abstract metal? Poisoned art rock? Fucking music critics.
Personal angst? Abstract metal? Poisoned art rock? Fucking music critics.
Biker Trash!
AWPC
Jake: Time to go home and write me some biker trash.
So what's the book about? That's what everyone asks.
It's about sex and drugs and sex and motorcycles and sex and magick and, uh, did I mention sex?
When a guy like me sits down and writes whatever comes to mind, well...
Jake: Time to go home and write me some biker trash.
So what's the book about? That's what everyone asks.
It's about sex and drugs and sex and motorcycles and sex and magick and, uh, did I mention sex?
When a guy like me sits down and writes whatever comes to mind, well...
Saturday, November 12, 2005
Novelty Report
More NaNoWriMo Madness. I've reached the halfway point of over 25,000 words. New excerpt posted.
Something Political
I haven't commented on my run for office. Ever sicne God appointed me emperor I've kind of given up on President. I mean, who wants to balance all of that cover up and spin when as emperor you can just say 'make it so' and behead those who defy you?
But I have a promise to make. If elected, I will do what every president I have ever known has done. I will lie and keep secrets. Not a one hasn't done it. And I promise to keep up with that tradition. Of course as emperor I can tell the truth all the time and behead those who have a problem with it. And that's why I'm telling the truth now when I tell you that as your next President I will lie. You have a problem with that?
But I have a promise to make. If elected, I will do what every president I have ever known has done. I will lie and keep secrets. Not a one hasn't done it. And I promise to keep up with that tradition. Of course as emperor I can tell the truth all the time and behead those who have a problem with it. And that's why I'm telling the truth now when I tell you that as your next President I will lie. You have a problem with that?
Salsa y Ketchup
Well they're big and they're long
And they taste real strong
Down at Karl's Disco Weiner Haven Hey
I got girls in their Chevys
Driving up from the levys
Just for my Dico Weiner Haven Hey
And they taste real strong
Down at Karl's Disco Weiner Haven Hey
I got girls in their Chevys
Driving up from the levys
Just for my Dico Weiner Haven Hey
Friday, November 11, 2005
Credit Where Due
I want to publicly thank my dad for coming home from work and constantly bitching about the lazy mother fuckers who just wander from machine to machine socializing. I had no idea what exactly he was talking about and wondered why these people just didn't get fired. Now I see them every day. These people wander about, playing catch with knotted up rags, trying to chat up the girls, and generally ignoring their work area. Then I, as maintenance, have to go over and 'fix' their machines because they're so filthy they are no longer working right. It's my job to fix them, so I spend five minutes cleaning all of the crap out, and they run great. Then these same people wonder why they don't get raises or promotions.
You want to mess around and slack off at work? Fine. Just don't go creating work for me. When I come over and tell you that I cleaned the shit off of one of your sensors, that means you aren't doing your job. When I clean parts out from under the drive unit to keep your belt from jamming, that means you aren't doing your job. When I run pipe cleaners through your rivet tubes so the parts can keep up, that means you aren't doing your job. We're told we have to fix these problems regardless. Well, just don't get pissed when we haven't had time to make replacement parts for when a real problem occurs.
And thanks, dad. Due to your constant gripes about these types of people, I am now one of those hard working individuals who can bitch about the lazy mother fuckers who just wander from machine to machine socializing.
You want to mess around and slack off at work? Fine. Just don't go creating work for me. When I come over and tell you that I cleaned the shit off of one of your sensors, that means you aren't doing your job. When I clean parts out from under the drive unit to keep your belt from jamming, that means you aren't doing your job. When I run pipe cleaners through your rivet tubes so the parts can keep up, that means you aren't doing your job. We're told we have to fix these problems regardless. Well, just don't get pissed when we haven't had time to make replacement parts for when a real problem occurs.
And thanks, dad. Due to your constant gripes about these types of people, I am now one of those hard working individuals who can bitch about the lazy mother fuckers who just wander from machine to machine socializing.
Divinity
If you watch an hour of porn and an hour of the 700 Club, in which would you hear "God" repeated more often?
If you watch an hour of porn and an hour of the 700 Club, in which would you hear "Money" repeated more often?
If you watch an hour of porn and an hour of the 700 Club, in which would you hear "Money" repeated more often?
Thursday, November 10, 2005
Brother?
Since moving west I've run into many occurences of people calling me:
1. Buddy
2. Dude
3. Bro
Buddy? Okay, I can handle that friendly familiarity. Dude? Damn, even I've let that one slip a few times now. But Bro? Yeah, I got an issue with that one.
Bro is a shortened form of brother. People in the OTO can call me brother. My wife's sibling can call me brother. My sister can call me brother. Outside of that list, there are only two guys who have called me brother and I believed them. One is big, drinks a lot, and has threatened a good number of my friends with a huge sharpened piece of steel. But he's never threatened me, never would, and when he called me brother, I knew he meant it. The other is a skinny little southwestern anarchist who lived with us here in Portland for a short time. I think he may have even called me bro a few times. There's some other people who could call me brother and I'd believe them, but they haven't yet.
Long story short, hardcore theoretical anarchists, burly Vikings, and cult members can call me brother. The rest of you should be rounded up and shot for extreme misuse of a sacred term. Or maybe gnawed to death by weasels. Yeah, weasels.
1. Buddy
2. Dude
3. Bro
Buddy? Okay, I can handle that friendly familiarity. Dude? Damn, even I've let that one slip a few times now. But Bro? Yeah, I got an issue with that one.
Bro is a shortened form of brother. People in the OTO can call me brother. My wife's sibling can call me brother. My sister can call me brother. Outside of that list, there are only two guys who have called me brother and I believed them. One is big, drinks a lot, and has threatened a good number of my friends with a huge sharpened piece of steel. But he's never threatened me, never would, and when he called me brother, I knew he meant it. The other is a skinny little southwestern anarchist who lived with us here in Portland for a short time. I think he may have even called me bro a few times. There's some other people who could call me brother and I'd believe them, but they haven't yet.
Long story short, hardcore theoretical anarchists, burly Vikings, and cult members can call me brother. The rest of you should be rounded up and shot for extreme misuse of a sacred term. Or maybe gnawed to death by weasels. Yeah, weasels.
Simpsons Quote #1
I used to get Simpsons quotes rampaging through my brain on a very frequent basis. It has clamed considerably these last couple years. But one stuck in my brain today.
Homer: Stupid sexy Flanders.
Homer: Stupid sexy Flanders.
Wednesday, November 09, 2005
Beliefs
Several things on beliefs crossed my path recently. I've got some free advice.
Don't believe anything! This can prove quite difficult. I sure have problems with it. Hunches can help. Theories come in handy. Beliefs will trick you.
I don't believe the world has a globe shape. The probabilities seem high. Research data from people I've never met at institutions I have never visited all point to a somewhat globular shaped planet. But if I 'believe' this, I surrendor to the fantasies of the unknown and might as well believe that the earth is actually an inverted sphere. There's some really excellent mathematical measurements that can consistantly prove this. Flat Earthers have some interesting commentary as well that can seem quite persuasive. Evolutionists and 'intelligent design' proponents both speak from their deep seeded beliefs.
Beliefs have a lie in the center of them.
Don't believe anything! This can prove quite difficult. I sure have problems with it. Hunches can help. Theories come in handy. Beliefs will trick you.
I don't believe the world has a globe shape. The probabilities seem high. Research data from people I've never met at institutions I have never visited all point to a somewhat globular shaped planet. But if I 'believe' this, I surrendor to the fantasies of the unknown and might as well believe that the earth is actually an inverted sphere. There's some really excellent mathematical measurements that can consistantly prove this. Flat Earthers have some interesting commentary as well that can seem quite persuasive. Evolutionists and 'intelligent design' proponents both speak from their deep seeded beliefs.
Beliefs have a lie in the center of them.
Saturday, November 05, 2005
Chocolate
For those of you who seem to think that Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory was better than Tim Burton's Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, here's some advice.
PUT DOWN THE CRACK PIPE!
Burton's was superior not just in special effects and cinematography, but was leagues beyond the old one in actual story. Casting and costuming, the two are equal. Gene Wilder plays a great creative old nut as his screenplay called for. Johnny Depp plays an excellent overgrown child as according to his script. The kids and their parents in both did phenomenal work.
PUT DOWN THE CRACK PIPE!
Burton's was superior not just in special effects and cinematography, but was leagues beyond the old one in actual story. Casting and costuming, the two are equal. Gene Wilder plays a great creative old nut as his screenplay called for. Johnny Depp plays an excellent overgrown child as according to his script. The kids and their parents in both did phenomenal work.
Novel Update
I was thinking about how many words are needed to complete the NaNoWriMo challenge. You can hardly call 50,000 words a novel. It's a decent book, maybe a novella. I reached over 8,000 words tonight. If I can keep up this pace I can not only complete the project in time but maybe even have time for some revisions.
And for those wondering if they can read this when I'm done, yes. I will make it available, probably as a self published title. I might even give away a few copies.
And for those wondering if they can read this when I'm done, yes. I will make it available, probably as a self published title. I might even give away a few copies.
Thursday, November 03, 2005
Just Watch Me
So I quit my MMORPG so I would have more time to be creative. What flies across my path but NaNoWriMo. I've taken the bait. I've signed up. I will now proceed to write a novel, a grand and craptacular novel, in just one month!
And of course I will keep everyone here updated.
And of course I will keep everyone here updated.
Great Minds
Johnny Cash could cover anybody's songs and they'd sound great.
Anybody could cover Bob Dylan's songs and they'd sound great.
Anybody could cover Bob Dylan's songs and they'd sound great.
AWPC
Me: I'm playing with isopropyl alcohol and high voltage at the same time! And people wonder why I love my job.
Wednesday, November 02, 2005
A Simple Realization
When rockers play another artist's tunes, they're a cover band.
So why don't we call the London Philharmonic a cover orchestra?
So why don't we call the London Philharmonic a cover orchestra?
While I'm Talking About Smoking
A guy at work told me that he was trying to curb his smoking since his little boy now lives with him at least half the week. Then on the next break I had the misfortune of hearing him have a telephone conversation with the mother of the child. (I hate cell phones.) The two of them accused each other of several things, most of it revolving around their son. The two do not live together and their only relationship now is the one they entered into by deciding to bring this child into the world.
My two cents on this. I would rather see a parent chain smoke in a small room with their child than to see the mother and father fighting around and/or about their child constantly. I've known plenty of fine individuals who grew up with heavy smokers. Children of fighting parents, even if the parents don't live together, always seem to have some issues they have to struggle with to overcome, and that's the lucky ones.
So I say to no one in particular; You had enough interest in each other at one time to make this child possible. For your child's sake, let go of the negativity and light up.
My two cents on this. I would rather see a parent chain smoke in a small room with their child than to see the mother and father fighting around and/or about their child constantly. I've known plenty of fine individuals who grew up with heavy smokers. Children of fighting parents, even if the parents don't live together, always seem to have some issues they have to struggle with to overcome, and that's the lucky ones.
So I say to no one in particular; You had enough interest in each other at one time to make this child possible. For your child's sake, let go of the negativity and light up.
Lighting Up
While hanging with the smokers in the break room last night I had an idea. Today I researched it. Let's take a look at my findings.
About 24% of Americans are smokers.
About 400,000 smokers die annually.
About 2,450,000 deaths occur annusally in the US.
That means about 16% of the people who die, were smokers.
Why do I suddenly have the urge to light up?
And here's another little statistic while we're at it. You have a 100% chance of dieing. Yep, every human ever born has either died or will die.
Have a nice day.
About 24% of Americans are smokers.
About 400,000 smokers die annually.
About 2,450,000 deaths occur annusally in the US.
That means about 16% of the people who die, were smokers.
Why do I suddenly have the urge to light up?
And here's another little statistic while we're at it. You have a 100% chance of dieing. Yep, every human ever born has either died or will die.
Have a nice day.
AWPC
Worker: So what do you think about being on maintenance?
Me: It's like playing with really intricate Legos all day.
Worker: That's what I'm talkin' about, man.
Me: It's like playing with really intricate Legos all day.
Worker: That's what I'm talkin' about, man.
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